Looking after my fiance's niece and the incurred utility costs

ashleyriot

Hey all,

I need advice because there is going to be a heated discussion soon...

We have an 18 month old niece who is perhaps rather trying for her Mum so my fiance has generously offered to look after once a week (she is brought over on a Tuesday afternoon and stays the day and night for my fiance to return her on the Wednesday).

Everyone wins: we have time with our niece (she's so much fun and has so many cool noises) and her Mum has a bit of a time out ('Dad' only has her some weekends - they are not together).


Therefore, it started eight days ago and her Mum was kind of shocked at the temperature of our house: it ain't baking hot, I do not deny but it is not frigid - I would describe it as cool.

The house is mine: I saved up the mortgage on my own and found all the ways possible to save money including quite comfortably wearing layers of clothes in the winter and focusing heat where necessary.

The arrival of my fiance changed things but we keep it at a comfortable 21 degrees right now in November (too warm in my opinion - wear the right clothes!)

I arrived home last night to find the underfloor heating (the underfloor heating!) on at 26 degrees and the radiators also at a similar temperature. It had been like this for most of the day - I only walked in at 18:00 and it was way too warm.

I had thankfully clocked the gas meter the day before (Monday evening just for the monthly meter read) and this morning before I left, we have used 2.5 units of gas, the equivalent of about £7.50 of gas, which is about 1/6th of our monthly budget.

This is about five times more than we should have used.

Added on to the fact that my fiance then drives the niece home, which is another couple of pounds, we are out about £10 a week for this help.


Financially, we are not in trouble but we are tight: it is just I that works currently (my fiance left her job because she didn't enjoy the commute) and allowing for everything (I mean everything - Budget Brain 100%), we are up about £30 a month.


I see we have three choices:

1. Stop the babysitting until next Spring
2. My fiance babysits at my niece's house (petrol cost still, I accept)
3. We ask for payment (well, actually, I ask for payment - this is going to be a major falling out for my fianc! and I but it's our money that is being spent each week)


Thoughts are appreciated, thank you.

Stevie_Palimo

Dodgy ground asking family for money when you guys offered to take her, As you say a falling out will be the inevitable I reckon.


As BT says it's good to talk so bring it up with your other half and see what they say first about your concerns of the additional costs with looking after her, You both need to read from the same page after all.

roobee13

Option 4 - just turn it down.

Did the Mum say the temperature had to be so high for her daughter? It's your house, and you're doing the Mum a favour. Providing the niece isn't actually cold I'm not seeing an issue.

(Option 5 - buy niece a cardi she can wear at your house!)

sulphate

Why did your fiance turn up the heating just because her niece was over?

If your niece or her mum complains that it's cold, fiance should nicely tell them to pack an extra jumper next time.

Your house, your rules. You're doing the mum a favour after all - not the other way round.

Alikay

There's always 4: Speak to you fiance and compromise on the temperature when he's looking after his sisters toddler. 21 degrees is OK if you're used to it but may be chilly for a little one who'll be down on the floor a lot of the time, especially if her own home is warmer. Also, do you have hard floors rather than carpets? In which case a big cheap rug might be warmer for her to play on. You could also pick up one of those thin fleece tops to keep at your house to layer over her existing clothes.

pollypenny

You're helping the mother and its your house.

26 degrees is very hot, even for a little one. Is she just in tee-shirts ?

Dress her warmly, have rugs on the floor. Continue to enjoy her company.

McKneff

JC!!! if you are going to be this picky, and you were my fianc!, a wedding would never, ever happen.


Just agree to turn the heating down a bit and forget about counting the cost.


Lighten up.....

CH27

ashleyriot wrote: »

Hey all,

I need advice because there is going to be a heated discussion soon...

We have an 18 month old niece who is perhaps rather trying for her Mum so my fiance has generously offered to look after once a week (she is brought over on a Tuesday afternoon and stays the day and night for my fiance to return her on the Wednesday).

Everyone wins: we have time with our niece (she's so much fun and has so many cool noises) and her Mum has a bit of a time out ('Dad' only has her some weekends - they are not together).


Therefore, it started eight days ago and her Mum was kind of shocked at the temperature of our house: it ain't baking hot, I do not deny but it is not frigid - I would describe it as cool.

The house is mine: I saved up the mortgage on my own and found all the ways possible to save money including quite comfortably wearing layers of clothes in the winter and focusing heat where necessary.

The arrival of my fiance changed things but we keep it at a comfortable 21 degrees right now in November (too warm in my opinion - wear the right clothes!)

I arrived home last night to find the underfloor heating (the underfloor heating!) on at 26 degrees and the radiators also at a similar temperature. It had been like this for most of the day - I only walked in at 18:00 and it was way too warm.

I had thankfully clocked the gas meter the day before (Monday evening just for the monthly meter read) and this morning before I left, we have used 2.5 units of gas, the equivalent of about £7.50 of gas, which is about 1/6th of our monthly budget.

This is about five times more than we should have used.

Added on to the fact that my fiance then drives the niece home, which is another couple of pounds, we are out about £10 a week for this help.


Financially, we are not in trouble but we are tight: it is just I that works currently (my fiance left her job because she didn't enjoy the commute) and allowing for everything (I mean everything - Budget Brain 100%), we are up about £30 a month.


I see we have three choices:

1. Stop the babysitting until next Spring
2. My fiance babysits at my niece's house (petrol cost still, I accept)
3. We ask for payment (well, actually, I ask for payment - this is going to be a major falling out for my fianc! and I but it's our money that is being spent each week)


Thoughts are appreciated, thank you.

You've compromised before so why can't you just talk to her?

What is she doing about finding a new job? How long has she been out of work?

fairy_lights

Just turn the heating down a bit!
I think you are being a bit too ridged about your monthly heating budget though.

fabforty

Option 5 - fianc! gets a job. Anything, part-time cleaning, etc. Things wouldn't be so tight and you could worry less about the additional heating costs. Giving up work because you 'don't like the commute'...?
As for the heating, that is probably just a mix of inexperience and being over cautious on your fianc!'s part - 21 degrees is fine, as long as the child has appropriate clothes on - a vest, dress and cardigan plus socks and slippers. I would just turn it down TBH.

kazwookie

Turn the heating down
Get the child an extra jumper
Send fiance over to her sisters house to look after the child.