Three choices in life; Give up, Give in or Give all you've got!!

satchmo1

Dearest Lucky, have a squishful of hugs from me {{{hugs}}}


Do you have a local Carers Association? They often have counsellors who you can safely let out all your frustrations and gloom. Not counsellors in the sense of fixing you (cos you don't need fixing) but in the sense of having a safety valve.


The contact cards is a great idea, and you could also slip them into DHs pockets whenever he goes out. Does he wear a Medicalert bracelet?


DS2 has had a couple of melt downs recently. Do you use the sticker reward charts, so he can see consequences? At rising 5, it's so hard to know if it's tiredness (in this case), pushing the boundaries, wanting your undivided attention, frustration, anger, hunger etc


Tell DH and DS's that you're a grumpy bear today and need careful handling so you don't growl (add sound effects).


Try this with the DSs (for fun). All put your hands by your side. Slowly raise them right up in the air. I defy you to keep a straight face :-)

liltdiddylilt

Is DS2 a rising 5 then? Jelly will be a rising rising 5 apparently :eek: - she has enough on coping with 15 hours at nursery in a week. She can be a little nightmare when she is tired. Just like her mummy.

I did wonder about the medicalert bracelet a while back but I thought DH might find it too upsetting having it strapped to his arm. The new iPh0ne operating system has a 'Health' app which you can access from the emergency lock screen. You can list everything in there including several contacts, all medication and diagosis etc. Very clever.

Hope DS2 went to bed nice and early and that, like me, you are having a relaxing child free morning. Mine is nearly over though... so fleeting on a Monday.

Brightspark87

Hi lucky

Sorry you have had a 'cloud'. sometimes it all just gets too much doesnt it? However, well done on staying strong and not giving into the cravings either.

I am sure the DH does understand, but he is so frustrated with everything and forgetting everything cant help. Did you do something nice together for your evening off? I might have missed that xx

October_Starter

liltdiddylilt wrote: »

Oh Lucky. I really hope it helps to get it out on here. You are not alone in having a black cloud pop over the horizon and refuse to leave every now and again but I do think you have a huge amount more to deal with than any other person I have met.

I never understand how you cope. You must be one of the strongest women on the planet. I think you were most likely a rocket scientist astronaut surgeon in a past life. Or Mother Teresa

It is a huge catch 22 to be stuck in a cycle with DH where he refuses to acknowledge his problems because it depresses him, but then rails at you for smothering him. I know this is a bizarre thought, but could you maybe have some vista print cards made up? 250 for £5 postage? Just explaining DH's issues, and giving your number and MiL's number. Then you could discreetly hand them over to trusted friends etc, to keep in their purses, and if the situation occurred where you had to leave DH, then you would have that security without either going behind his back OR doing it in front of him?

I know it isn't his fault but I do feel very sad for you at the unfairness of brain injuries.

Hope you feel better soon hun. Not much I can do from here but sending you big squiggly hugs xx

I love this idea and agree with Lilt whole heartedly, definitely a reincarnation of Mother Teresa! I read your diary and it makes me feel ashamed at some of the things I stress over when you are so brave.

If it brings a smile to your face, we are still even on our NSD race! Money seems to sneak out of my account when I am not looking! :rotfl:

Don't worry about feeling down. You have a lot on your plate and it has to get to you sometimes. The key thing to remember is you have us to talk to and family and friends who will support you.

October xx

please-let-me-be-lucky

Thank you so much for the support everyone :A. It means such a lot, and I'm feeling much more positive today.

Satchmo, thank you for the hugs and sending some right back atcha! I'm at the Carer's Centre on Thursday so will discuss it with them then.

Re the medic alert bracelet, thank you so much for telling me what they are actually called! We have been searching for them under all kinds of names to no avail, yet the minute I used the proper term, lo and behold there are hundreds to choose from!! The only problem is, DH now thinks the bracelet symbolises being allowed to go out jogging alone again :eek:. Hmmmm.

DS2 has a bad behaviour chart whereby he gets a cross if he does something against the 'rules' we have agreed. 3 crosses mean the loss of something he wouldn't want to lose. I suppose this focuses on the bad behaviour rather than good, so I could look at a reward chart instead. I do worry that his 'meltdowns' are learned behaviours from watching Daddy .

Lilt, the health app sounds just the ticket! Thank you. Sorry to read on your diary that Jelly was poorly and your day didn't go to plan. Hope your evening has been calmer.

October, thank you for your kind words and over estimation of me . Glad we are still neck and neck in our NSD race. Tomorrow isn't going to be spend free either as it's double discount day at work so time to get more Christmas presents at knock down prices :T.

So, a better day today. Went to the gym this morning and took it out on the equipment which lifted my mood somewhat. Came home and made some soup which DH and I had for lunch and then the boys had for tea. Nice and cheap! This afternoon we went shopping as we had run out of a few things that wouldn't wait until tomorrow, but bought the bare minimum as tomorrow is double discount day as I've already mentioned. An hour before Beavers my assistant leader text to say she couldn't make it, so I then had to ask DH to step in while MiL watched the boys. It worked ok as DH is having a good day and he literally just had to be there as another body while I did all the work, but there are many weeks when that wouldn't be possible. It also upset DS1 who wanted to stay home and play online with his mates but he had to go to MiL's instead. It just reinforces why I gave my notice.

I've made a GP appointment for DH for Friday. He has a nasty chesty cough and his hearing seems particularly poor at the moment. The two may be linked or may not. His Dad suffered with his ears and had to get them syringed regularly so this is a possibility, as is it being linked to his head injury and I just wanted the GP's opinion. It's also a chance to catch up with her after all the recent seizures and medication changes etc.

beanielou

As you say total reinforcement as to why you are giving up the beavers.

liltdiddylilt

Yikes, now that is why your Beaver Leader needs to find someone quick! 6 weeks and you're out of there right?!

Poor DS1. Horrid dragging kids his age around but it can't be helped. Computers, botha blessing and a pain in the bum!

Jelly still peaky today so wouldn't have been taking her to nursery anyway. I had it half in my mind that she had eaten play doh or something and just vomited it as I got there. But the pink cheeks, slight temp and overall grumpiness, plus the fact that she had no lunch and took herself off to bed nearly an hour ago and not a peep since have sealed the deal. Shes not well. I am not feeling too hot either, so have ramped up my vitamins, and sit here with a banana and 2 clementines

Thanks for your support xx

mary_hinge

Huge hugs Lucky I'm sorry your feeling "grey" but glad your a little brighter today.

we have a medi bracelet for missy hinge..... not that she ever wears it :cool: you can register details on the system so people can ring the number for full details.


Take care x

Mrs H x

Sun_Addict

Just popping in to drop off support and hugs xx Don't worry about feeling down it's only natural in your situation. You can only be expected to cope with so much before it gets to you. Hope things pick up soon.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Evening all!

Lilt, I'm sorry to hear Jelly continued to be poorly, I hope she's better tomorrow and that you don't get it too. I had a bad night with DS2 last night (and with Mr Lucky who was super jerky in his sleep ) and then he cried and clung on to me at school drop off (DS2 that is not DH :rotfl:). He hasn't done that in forever and I honestly expected a call all day saying he was poorly and I was to collect him. The call never came and he was bright as a button at pick up!

Mrs H it's so kind of you to take time to offer support with all you have going on. Big hugs back to you and thank you for the bracelet info.

SA, I know you know how hard it is. I hope that the counselling helps Mr SA.

I'm in major pain! I did my first spinning class in years this morning (DH's first time ever) and my *ahem* bits are so sore!! The seats on those bikes are like razor blades!! I also managed to not tie the foot strap tight enough and my foot slipped out and I took a whack to the shin from the pedal . Blood spillage and a wound which aches was the result. I'll probably not be able to walk tomorrow. On the positive, I didn't pay for the class which I was supposed to do as Carer's aren't free in classes, just in the gym and swimming. £5 saved :T.

This afternoon we did some shopping in my work's double discount event but didn't get everything I wanted, so will go to another store tomorrow to see what they have there (it's a 2 day event).

Then I went to chub club and wished I hadn't bothered. Half a pound on??!!??!! Totally undeserved as I've been good all week.:mad: