Three choices in life; Give up, Give in or Give all you've got!!

Chrystal

I'm so sorry you've been upset today. (((hugs))) Maybe it's time to push the reset button.

Children tend to take us at our own valuation of ourselves, if we act as though we come last in everything that's how they see us, and I think they mean exactly what they say.. they haven't yet learned to dissimilate what they're thinking before it comes out of their mouths. BUT it's not too late to make the change, so try and make 2018 the year when they realise your worth (I'm sure you can do it) X

please-let-me-be-lucky

Thank you both for your lovely kind words. Chrystal, what you said makes perfect sense, but it’s hard to make others see your worth when you don’t think you are worth anything yourself Xx

Chrystal

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Thank you both for your lovely kind words. Chrystal, what you said makes perfect sense, but it’s hard to make others see your worth when you don’t think you are worth anything yourself Xx

Oh honey you need to get yourself some glasses and take a long hard look in the mirror. Have you any idea how many people would have buckled under the strain that you're under?

Please stop putting yourself down and see yourself as we see you...You are courageous and strong to even be able to keep going, and your OH and children are very lucky to have you... and it's time you let them know it ((hugs))X

pennywisepoundstupid

Oh honey i'm so sorry that your DS has upset you, you are an amazing wife/mother, but most importantly person.

Every now and then my DS can get to be to big for his boots and needs straightening up, last time I took his xbox controllers, left the xbox as I knew it annoyed him more to look at it unable to play and his phone and told him whilst he was still a child and lived under my roof He would live by my rules and I would decide what he could and couldn't do and until he showed me more respect I was taking away the things that I work hard to pay for and told him a few home truths about being an ungrateful spoilt so and so, it broke my heart to do it and be so hard on him but it worked. Sometimes a bit of tough love is what is needed.

mummytogirls

Awww PLMBL, im not surprised you felt upset yesterday, I wouldn't want to feel taken advantage of either. Did he see you get upset by this? If so it might make him think more next time.

Hope today is better xx

Sun_Addict

From past experience with DD, the comments are meant to hurt and if you let them see you're hurt then they have the result they want. You have to either pretend any remarks have fallen on deaf ears or shame him into seeing just how upset you are. Although at that age he'll pretend he's not bothered but he will be. I could fill a book with DD's antics, some have been very bad indeed.

Hope you're having a better day today xx

please-let-me-be-lucky

Evening.

Today started rubbish. DH went out for a run with the dog and got lost. His phone went flat so I couldn’t track him :eek:. 2 hours later they got home tired and muddy :mad:. The boys bickered the whole time and I cried in between feeling sick.

When they were all home safely I walked out and left them. Today is my Mum’s birthday so I went to see her and burst into tears. Feel very guilty about that but I needed it and felt much better afterwards.

Came home and told everyone how fed up I am. DH looked all hurt but I needed him to know. We went to the shop as we’d run out of cat food and DH bought me a sticky toffee pudding in lieu of a Christmas present :rotfl:.

Mum called in tonight with a cardigan she bought me in the sales because I didn’t spend my Christmas money on me . It’s lovely of her but again I feel guilty. I also feel loved and appreciated though .

Sun_Addict

That's good to hear Lucky, sometimes you just have to tell them the truth

pennywisepoundstupid

I'm sorry that you have got so upset, but i'm glad you have told them the truth, sometimes we have to just throw our toys out of the pram and have a good shout.

HairyHandofDartmoor

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

I’ve had a few tears today . DS1 made a (supposedly jokey) comment about how easy I am to manipulate into doing what he wants me to do and it hit a nerve. I try so hard to make everyone happy and have the things they want, but I’m damned if it’s going to be assumed or taken advantage of. Yesterday I got two presents totalling £5, both of which I bought myself. No one put any effort or thought into ‘me’ at all. Christmas to me is honestly about my family not presents, but I don’t like feeling unappreciated. It’s not the first time DS1 has made comments like this, last week he was telling DS2 how to get me to buy things in the supermarket (ie look for things on special offer as I’m the reduction/coupon Queen!!).

Yesterday was a NSD. Today hasn’t been as I took DS2 to Mr A’s to buy something with his Christmas money and I bought a couple of bottles of pop while I was there.

I'm sorry you were upset Lucky. I would have been upset at getting two £5 presents . Children are very self centred and don't understand that their parents have feelings, but it doesn't mean they don't love and need you. They generally get more thoughtful as they get older. Next year buy yourself a nice present worth £50 and tell DH to give it to you. You deserve that and much more.

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Evening.

Today started rubbish. DH went out for a run with the dog and got lost. His phone went flat so I couldn’t track him :eek:. 2 hours later they got home tired and muddy :mad:. The boys bickered the whole time and I cried in between feeling sick.

When they were all home safely I walked out and left them. Today is my Mum’s birthday so I went to see her and burst into tears. Feel very guilty about that but I needed it and felt much better afterwards.

Came home and told everyone how fed up I am. DH looked all hurt but I needed him to know. We went to the shop as we’d run out of cat food and DH bought me a sticky toffee pudding in lieu of a Christmas present :rotfl:.

Mum called in tonight with a cardigan she bought me in the sales because I didn’t spend my Christmas money on me . It’s lovely of her but again I feel guilty. I also feel loved and appreciated though .

Poor Lucky what a rotten day . You did exactly the right thing to wallk out and go to your mum's. You were also right to tell everyone how upset you felt. Next year I want you to spend your Christmas money on yourself . You work so hard and keep everything in your house together and everyone happy. You deserve a little pampering now and again.