Mini meltdown and light bulb moment

AleMrsT

Ah, thanks October, thats lovely!

I haven't quite figured out how to put images on here yet!!!

AleMrsT

:mad::eek: I just wrote a big long post and then it just disappeared!!

Long story short; been off work today, had my niece for the morning (bought washing up liquid and crisps for my sister and a reduced sandwich and magazine for me £3.59 spent)
Then called step change to increase payment, could only increase to £71 as according to them there is no where else to take the other £1 from. I felt a bit guilty as they have to resubmit the 'new' budget to creditors, but at least I have reduced my 'official' DFD by 3 months, just by paying the extra £2 per month :T:j

Also, I had my hair done today at an actual hairdressing salon, first time in ages that I've had it done that is not for a special occasion (weddings where its just been put up or styled) :eek: Mum told me that a conditioning treatment is pointless on hair that is as damaged as mine, and I'd be better getting it 'done properly' then the conditioning treatment will work better. She also said I deserve a treat and have done well to still have the money available in the bank AND have savings at the end of Jan, so I caved in and booked.
My account is now £73 lighter :eek: BUT my hair looks and feels A LOT healthier, and will be easier to keep on top of as it is more my natural colour.

Also, a big thank you to Lilt and October!!!

MrsT.

misstara

Fab news about bringing your DFD forward a few months esp since you won't notice paying an extra £2 a month.

Don't feel guilty about spending money at the hairdresser, you have done fantastically well this month and deserve a wee treat

AleMrsT

Got my payslip today and it's payday tomorrow. :T

I'm now stressing even more about having spent so much at the hairdressers, ive got to pay the holiday deposit tomorrow, I could have put that £70 towards it. :mad: Oh well, I guess this is all a good thing, at least I am now consciously spending and (trying to) plan ahead, instead of burying my head and not thinking about what I'm spending on and what I need to pay for. It's amazing I'm not in even more of a mess than I am!

Will dig out my pay slip and put the laptop on to check my bank then see if I can come up with a proper budget for the month.

AleMrsT

Hi all, wow sorry I've not posted for a long time, I got my pay slip then never posted my budget or finance updates.

Here goes the update over the last 6 days (oops)

30th January.
Got paid, £952.15.
Outgoings -
£500 rent
£4.27 payment to savings

I went out on Friday night with my friends for my birthday, total spend was £18, which wasn't too bad for a meal and drinks.
I called in at Holland and Barrett, £7.36 spent on sesame snaps and banana chips.
Then I went to next to get my dad a voucher for his birthday, I had budgeted £15 from Decembers pay. HOWEVER, I was very MSE, and transferred the balance from the next gift card I had for my birthday, as there was £8 left and I couldnt find anything to buy for just £8 that I needed, so then I added the £7 in cash, so dad's £15 birthday voucher only cost me £7!! :T
ALSO, I called and paid the deposit for our holiday, £128.60, and the balance of £206.40 has to be paid by 5th March, NOT April, as I miscalculated how many weeks there were before the holiday. :eek:
Hopefully with OH putting in to, this should be fine, but my pay is short for Feb and I've had additional outgoings.
Will have to get my CD's books and DVDs off to music magpie and zapper to bring in some cash.

31st January.
My sister and I went to see a show on Saturday, but the tickets were free :j, my sisters bridesmaid was in the show, so her mum had some spare tickets that we used. Only spent 99p on two bottles of lemonade to take in to the show with us.

1st February.
We did the food shopping on Sunday, £79.43 spent in Ald1, HOWEVER, have not done a food shop since 12th January, so really happy with that. We have so much food in the house now, we will just need milk etc, but we are going to see OH's parents next week for 4 days, so we wont need any food for those days. Not looking to spend any more than £40 for the rest of the month on food.
My parents came round for dinner on Sunday to celebrate my dads birthday, so we didnt leave the house for the rest of the day.

2nd February.
A lot of payments went out on 2nd, both ongoing and the purchases as above,
my stepchange payment of £69 went across,
and £35.73 car insurance payment went out.

3rd February.
We needed dishwasher tablets and toiletries, which I do not like to get from Aldi as OH is particular about his toiletries, spent £9.34 in savers, which is not bad for 60 dishwasher tablets, deodorant and hand soap!
No further spends yesterday as straight home after work and OH has been able to pick me up from work both days, and I've got a lift in.

This leaves me with a current balance of £118.60 :eek: This is to last the rest of the month.
I'm slightly stressing. Although, if we're off up north for four days, we shouldnt need a lot of money, only petrol there and back, as we stay with OH's parents, and we won't be going out anywhere (valentines weekend+beautiful part of the country=EXPENSIVE!!!!)

Today is my day off, and my hospital appointment, so need hospital parking money, which is in the car already. I have my niece for an hour at lunch time before we set of to the hospital, my mum is having her this morning but mum starts work at 1, and my sister finishes at 1, so I will be having the niece for the changeover period between.
OH is off work today and tomorrow on his rota'd days off, I wanted to get some MSE stuff done this morning, (ebay, music magpie etc) but he's still in bed and I cant get the stuff out of the loft on my own.
Ah well, we have the rest of the afternoon after my hospital so will get it done then.

The plan for the rest of the month, I have a dentist appointment next wednesday, which I might cancel as its £35 and I literally went in December for a scale and polish, so I might rearrange to another month when I can set money aside.

We have our friend coming at the end of February for one night, so may need extra food, and its my nieces first birthday on 1st March, so will need to get a present out of February's budget, have budgeted £20.

So the £40 for food and £20 for savings, and £20 for niece leaves me with £38.60 to pay for the dentist and bus fare. :eek::eek::eek::eek:
I'm definitely going to have to cancel the dentist!!
I also need to cancel my old phone contract, which I can do for free from today, so going to call vodafone shortly, then that is £17 I won't need to pay out on 24th of this month.

Also, my manager owes me £100 from some accounts work I did for her local community group in NOVEMBER, I keep reminding her, she's pregnant so she keeps forgetting, but when I get that from her I could keep that in my account, although I was going to put this towards holiday so we only have another £106.40 to find.
Not sure what is best to do with that, what do all you lovely people think?

Thats all for me I think, on the other side of things, I'm feeling a lot more positive, I haven't felt down at all since the chat with OH.

At the moment, a happy, healthy life with OH is enough for me, my head is right about kids not being feasible for us, OH doesn't want them, I don't want the stress, although I look at it with rose tinted glasses and play happy families, I know that's not what it will be like for us. The other option is to separate from OH and try and meet someone else who DOES want kids, then what? If I STILL can't have them because my body isn't just meant to bear children, I have given up on an amazing man, to be with someone else who I still cant have children with. I would never meet anyone who is as amazing as OH, and I wouldn't want to.
My happy life with him is worth more than a life on my own, with a child, that I can't look after because it makes me ill.
I just still need to connect that rational thinking and acceptance to my stupid heart, that is telling me to want things I cant have (a holiday in Bali, a mortgage free home, and a happy little fat baby that never grows beyond the age of 3).

twiggy86

Hi AleMrsT. Pleased you're feeling positive! Re the £100 - 1. don't make excuses for your manager! Keep pushing her for the money (however, I'm a wimp so the whole "do as I say not as I do" mantra springs to mind!) 2. can you leave it in your account in case you need it, but if it's still in there at the end of the month use it towards the holiday? Or if you're worried if it's in there you'll spend it, maybe use half towards holiday? Depends what helps your mental wellbeing best!


I've left a £100 buffer in my account this month as I was budgeting to leave nothing in there but found that I felt a bit stressed by that. However, I did then use my card to buy drinks for my friend to celebrate her promotion (£15 spend) so maybe I cant be trusted with it in there!

AleMrsT

Hi Twiggy.

Dentist appointment cancelled. One less stress.

I think I'll get the £100 in cash, so I think the best option is for me to pay it straight in to the bank, then transfer it to the new savings account connected to my bank account, that way I can't have instant cash machine or debit card access, but its easy to transfer back in to my account if i need it, if I don't need it, I can use it for the holiday.
You are right that if I leave it sat in my account i'll be tempted, (look what happened with the hair!!! :mad:)

I've also realised I have around £5 on one poll now, £2.20 on onepoll cash back, and £6.87 in my paypal. There is also a wooden box full of change upstairs, going to count that out and cash it in!
Not sure how I access the one poll money ( I don't think I can until it hits £40?) but if I keep going I can use that as spending money on holiday! :T

Puzzcat

Hello to you..


Glad you got the holiday sorted out, something nice to look forward to.


Just wanted to add don't forget to check your creditor statements with the balances on the stepchange website as stepchange assume interest is frozen on all your debts. Some people have had nasty surprises when they have thought the stepchange balances were correct and hadn't realised interest was still being added.


If any of your creditors are still adding interest you can write to them complaining and if that doesn't work you can escalate a complaint to the FOS.


Also Onepoll pays out at £40.. keep going its slow but I usually manage 3 payouts a year..


Puzz. x

AleMrsT

Thanks Puzzcat.

I've had letters confirming the interest is frozen and have been calling for the balances, ive also updated stepchange figures with correct totals.

I've just called Vodafone, they are officially useless. Need to look back through my posts to double check, but the guy I spoke to before definitely said to call back in February and there would be no cancellation fee. That is not what the lady told me today. The cancellation fee is now £55, as opposed to the forty something it was last month, and I can't cancel without a penalty charge until March. She took great pains to tell me the calls are recorded and that she'd be logging notes, so I asked her to check my notes from the last call, surprise surprise it just says I called to cancel and was quoted the termination fee.
Will call later and see what a third person says. :mad:
When she asked why I haven't opted to see what upgrade options Vodafone can offer before I took a contract elsewhere, I explained again the contract is still with Vodafone, just as a second line on OH's account. Then she plucked the cancellation figure from the air and told me to call back in March.

Will keep you posted.

Puzzcat

Hi,


Great news on the frozen interest...


As for vodafone.. :mad: They are rubbish customer services and a rubbish website to match.. I currently have 2 broken phones on contract but can't upgrade my daughter's until sometime in February without paying £170... and then told £140... and no confirmed date when I can do it.. Hate them but stuck as on a dmp mobile providers do a credit check and there's no way I would get a new one. I am using a £5 tesco phone with a PAYG with EE.. costs £1 a week.. I've never found vodafone easy to deal with.....


Puzz. x