How long should child maintainence be paid?

FBaby

CSA take the money whether you can afford it or not

As they should. Children essential needs don't adjust to affordability beyond it. It is fair that as a start point, it should expect that changes are made to other aspects of an nrp's life, not his children.

Marisco

FBaby wrote: »

As they should. Children essential needs don't adjust to affordability beyond it. It is fair that as a start point, it should expect that changes are made to other aspects of an nrp's life, not his children.

Sorry, I don't agree. Everyone has to have a change in lifestyle when a split occurs, unless the NRP earns mega bucks. Say for arguments sake, when a couple were together, the kids had horses, or did activities that cost money daily, had clothes bought every week, a top of the range mobile paid for etc etc etc, do you really expect the (average) NRP to keep paying for this, when he has to pay for his own place to live, maybe a new family etc?

There is a thread on here now, about a poor bloke whose expected to keep his wife in "the manner she has become accustomed to". He has to adjust why shouldn't she, and by extension the kids? Everyone should be expected to adjust, it shouldn't be one sided. This was the problem with my oh's ex, she expected him to pay the debts, mortgage and the CSA as well!! As I said, unless an NRP earns very good money, then in most cases it is just not possible not to have changes. But it shouldn't just be on the one side.

FBaby

Everyone has to have a change in lifestyle when a split occurs, unless the NRP earns mega bucks. Say for arguments sake, when a couple were together, the kids had horses, or did activities that cost money daily, had clothes bought every week, a top of the range mobile paid for etc etc etc, do you really expect the (average) NRP to keep paying for this, when he has to pay for his own place to live, maybe a new family etc?

An 'average' nrp wouldn't have been able to afford it in the first place so I don't see the arguement. Either you earn a good salary and 15% (or so) leaving 85% is not unreasonable at all. If that means that the children can continue to do expensive activities, then yes, I think it is fair.

The problem is if the nrp chooses a lifestyle that means that he needs 90% + of is income for his new life. If that is the case, then he has not budgeted it properly. He shouldn't be starting a new family if he can't afford to support adequately the children he already has.

There is a thread on here now, about a poor bloke whose expected to keep his wife in "the manner she has become accustomed to".

That's totally different. It is about supporting the ex, not his children. As I am strongly minded about nrp prioritising his children financially as I am strongly against nrps expected to support their exes.

This was the problem with my oh's ex, she expected him to pay the debts, mortgage and the CSA as well!

The issue was not the maintenance but the rest.

Person_one

Marisco wrote: »

you can continue to help the kids as and when

Is that how its supposed to be though? If your kids live with you, you can't just stop paying for them when you have a tight month or don't fancy it, there's no 'as and when' for the cost of rent and food and bills!

I'm sure it can be frustrating handing money over to an ex you really don't like anymore, but its only 15%, most parents who live with their children must spend a much bigger percentage of their earnings on the costs of looking after them.

Marisco

Person_one wrote: »

Is that how its supposed to be though? If your kids live with you, you can't just stop paying for them when you have a tight month or don't fancy it, there's no 'as and when' for the cost of rent and food and bills!

I'm sure it can be frustrating handing money over to an ex you really don't like anymore, but its only 15%, most parents who live with their children must spend a much bigger percentage of their earnings on the costs of looking after them.

So what do you suggest? When the CSA comes to an end, just keep on paying, only give it to the kids instead? And for how long? What if they are still at home in their 30's? I'd be very surprised if most NRP's who pay CSA don't look forward to the end of it!

Person_one

Marisco wrote: »

So what do you suggest? When the CSA comes to an end, just keep on paying, only give it to the kids instead? And for how long? What if they are still at home in their 30's? I'd be very surprised if most NRP's who pay CSA don't look forward to the end of it!

I think its up to each set of parents/step-parents to come to an arrangement that works when CSA stops rather than just a dead cut off, but your post didn't seem to just be about after that. Sorry if I'm reading it wrong, but it sounded like you'd have preferred to be able to contribute 'as and when' even before the child was 18.

Marisco

Person_one wrote: »

I think its up to each set of parents/step-parents to come to an arrangement that works when CSA stops rather than just a dead cut off, but your post didn't seem to just be about after that. Sorry if I'm reading it wrong, but it sounded like you'd have preferred to be able to contribute 'as and when' even before the child was 18.

You are, I'm talking about when CSA comes to an end. Then the NRP can contribute "as and when" if they want to. Some will, some won't and some can't.

cazziebo

Marisco wrote: »

Hell's teeth, your not suggesting an NRP should still be paying CM are you???? :eek:

No - just pointing out that there isn't an absolute age or cut off when parental responsibility ends (morally if not legally).

Children are for life, not just until the new partner decides their parent OH is paying too much. Interesting how it's almost always the partner of the NRP who complains most on these boards, not the NRP....

Marisco

cazziebo wrote: »

No - just pointing out that there isn't an absolute age or cut off when parental responsibility ends (morally if not legally).

Children are for life, not just until the new partner decides their parent OH is paying too much. Interesting how it's almost always the partner of the NRP who complains most on these boards, not the NRP....

My oh doesn't have an account on here, but he's only say the same as me anyway. See, the problem with posting on here is, no one knows the full sp but the people involved, and I personally have no wish to rake over dirty washing in public, that's what Jeremy Kyle is for Suffice to say our lives were made hell by the PWC and the CSA for about 6/7 years (on CSA1) So yes, we were both ecstatic when it came to an end!

FBaby

Marisco wrote: »

So what do you suggest? When the CSA comes to an end, just keep on paying, only give it to the kids instead? And for how long? What if they are still at home in their 30's? I'd be very surprised if most NRP's who pay CSA don't look forward to the end of it!

Surely by then, the nrp wouldn't be liable to pay towards the mortgage any longer, so if anything, it would match the time that money from equity is supposed to finally come to the nrp. Either the debts would be paid by then, or be so with the equity. So how can the effect of the divorce still be an issue on the income of the nrp?

When does it end? My view is either when it is not needed any longer becaue the child starts its working life, or because they are not making step the nrp considers reasonable towards it.

I went to Uni and both my parents supported me financially through it. They didn't want me to get loans. Of course that's because they could afford it, but only by making further compromises to their life. However, they saw it is their responsibility and still a priority of theirs to support me during that time.