Weekly Flylady Thread 6th October 2014

mrs-moneypenny

pigpen wrote: »

mrs mp.. it might be best if DH does ask his mumthe questions it would be a good evaluation of how much she is aware of and how much she has forgotten or not taken in. You could then make a note of asking the consultant when you go. I would suggest you BOTH go at half term.. if you are going to be the main person going you need to be present for all conversations.. DH might forget to tell you the one bit of vital information you need. Having experience of this When my Aunt had bowel cancer and my uncle was too much of a flap to take anything in and my mother did the note taking and question asking.

I have a pounding head this morning so am going to find tea and drugs.. I'm going to rattle!!


Squeak talks.. incessantly!! Currently about Rapunzels hair and how her hair is almost longer than Rapunzels!

hope your head feels better soon and you find the drugs you need

i hear what you are saying pigpen and agree totally, ive whited this post out as after i read it it is venting but im answering what you said so feel free to ignore and dont read if you feel youll be upset by my ramblings
Dh is an only child who arrived quite late in life. when his dad was ill we only had one month from being given the diognisis to losing him that was a very hard month. fil, bless his heart sort of made a list of things, teeth clean, hair cut, he even wanted to see the optician but sadly didnt make that one. he told me after we got back from the hospital want song he wanted playing so he had obviosuly suspected what would be said. Dh and mil didnt cope well at all, i just did what needed to be done made sure dad got out of hospital after the water infection as he wanted to be at home etc and got on with giving him what he wanted while keeping the others together. Dh couldnt deal with it and still finds it difficult to talk about his dad now. ive obviously told DH everything thats been said at all appts ive attended with mil and kept the kids informed of all stuff as well. when i told him about the last appt he said he told his mum id said what happened that day when he went in at night to see her, (he pops in every day on the way home from work to pick up paper and say hello and has done since we got married over 30 years ago) she just said i feel fine everything ok so he said he didnt want to talk about stuff incase she or he got upset. I get upset but there are conversations you have to have however difficult they are.:(
i organsied fils funeral as mil said she was the youngest in her family so had never had to do anything like that before (it was a first for me) and because Dh "doesnt do death" his dads was the first he had ever gone to. when the kids were little and their first rabbit died it was suggested by him we say it ran away so they werent upset and secretly just get a new one. that is sadly how children learn nothing and no one last forever.
DD1 actually said to me after fils funeral "you do reaslie if Dad had had his way we would have all been told GP had ran away and none of this would ever be mentioned!"
i dont think Dh will be able to talk to his mum about whats happening, when we vist fils grave, hes ok if he goes with me just very quiet. if mil comes they both cry then appologise to each other for crying and we leave, he doesnt get talked about hardly ever unless i bring him up. im always prattling on to the kids about things GP did or said and they have such lovely memories of him they share Dh and his mum need to be involved in that not scared to mention him he was too lovely to hide away in the past


highlight if you really want to know, ive cried writing it:(

Honey_Bear

I'm pm-ing you Mrs MP.

Linky for a vegan cheese sauce recipe - I haven't tried it, but MFin3 says it tastes just like cheese sauce, but it's totally cheeseless. I'd be really interested to know what tasters think of it.

http://mortgagefreeinthree.com/?s=cheese+sauce


If FizzWizz is about, just to say we went to see Pride last night, a film that I wouldn't have been minded to choose myself from the story blurb, and loved every single second of it. Dominic West can dance up a storm!

mrs-moneypenny

thanks for that recipie honey, ive written it out for myself and forwarded it to DD.

DS2 saw pride last week with a friend and said it was really good
DD3 and DS2 went to see maze runner last night, apparently hunger games meets divergent so dont think its one for me or DH

bmma

Dailies done:)
mrs-mp-my niece is veggie,nephew pescatarian,brother in law and niece's husband meat eaters- but at christmas time or when they visit at
week they are all happy to eat vegan or veggie (even the meat eaters)
will post later if any extra flying is done :rotfl:

serena

MrsMPJust sending love and hugs, you sound like you could do with them.

Backache still here, but worse if I'm too immobile, so I have been pottering about gently. I have cleaned the cloakroom, tidied the hall, and vacuumed downstairs. Load of clothes washing also done, although having to dry indoors as keeps raining.

This afternoon I want to sew buttons on little baby cardigan for colleague's new little one. I am keen to start next project, socks for DD with that owl design in them. The eyes are beaded, and I've never done that before.

mrs-moneypenny

serena have you got one of those wheat type pillows that can be warmed up or a little hot water bottle you can warm and wedge in your waistband that might help ease it a little.

thank you for the very kind pms

did mils cleaning shed gone cinema with friends - which im glad about as she enjoys it - just sorry i missed her.
got work now so better make a move.
'see' you later

rain seems to have stopped so hopefully not wet play

serena

MrsMP yes, wheat pillow on back as I typeI Thank you.

Dustykitten

Mrs MP sending your the biggest squishiest hug. Having lost my own Dad and dealing with my sis and mother not dealing with it I know how you feel. I did the funeral bit myself too (and then again for Nan). My Mum said the same thing with pets when we were young, I go for full out burying the furry in the garden and sobbing to 'allow' the boys to do this too. You are changing the cycle for your own children and that is all you can do. Men don't always deal with grief, DH didn't when his Mum died and it was awful, it can lead to depression, so you are aware.

Please remember we are here for you everyday, whatever the hour - I'd have pm'd but as always my box needs decluttering xx

Going to put WM on do HHdusting and then head to the supermarket.

Who's cooking what for dinner tonight?

Mumto2 missing your posts, hope you are ok and you too Skinty.

pigpen

Mrs MP.. that sounds very like my family.. regarding some losses.. That just sounds like you need to facilitate that conversation between MIL and DH.. So what if people cry, we aren't robots.. It sounds like DH might be hammered hard by going to an appointment with his mum and hearing first hand the truth, I'm sure you put it much more gently than an oncologist will.. which makes me more convinced you too need to be there.. can you trust he will tell you what was said or that he will play it down or not tell you the important bits because he doesn't want to face it? It is all very hard.. and it is very important to talk about those gone before, It is 10 years in December since my nanna passed and she is still spoken about very often, she was a big influence in our lives as children and even as adults for us older ones. huge hugs for you, it must be a lot of pressure on you trying to keep everyone happy... but sometimes you need to force them to face the truth whether they like it or not.

Drugs had, Ebeast parcels packaged.. I'd go post them while Pixie is asleep but I just realised I am in my pj's and she is asleep in my room.. that'll wait then!

I need to do mountains of washing but it keeps raining and has rained constantly the last 3 days so I can't get it dried.

I may list a few more bits on ebeast and do a spot of knitting.. I have had to wash some of the knitted bits I've not finished entirely after Pixie tipped a full cup of tea all over it while OH was 'watching' her .. His mothers cardy is a bit crispy now!

bossymoo

Hugs mrs mp I think you've already had my two-penn'orth but hugs all the same. Agree with dusty your children will learn to cope in a different way. We cry all the time here (well, within reason!) and the kiddies see that's ok, but it's also ok to stop and smile again, that bit is important too!

Not much achieved here, just WM x 1 but paid stuff is a bit bonkers this week. Think I'm going round the corporate M25 trying to find an answer to one blinking question...