How do you cope with the guilt of being in debt?

normdeplume

Hi folks,

[Hope this is in the right place]

I am an irregular poster, but a regular reader here. I wondered how people coped emotionally when faced with debt. Right now, I am regularly waking up at 3.30-4am and my heart feels ready to burst. And the loneliness of debt is hard to handle too even when you're with friends. Has anyone ever felt the same?

I have formulated a plan to fight back, but because I have vocational exams in late August, I can't do anything until then. I record the little victories in my spending diary (someone left this week's Private Eye on the train today saving me £1.40 -yay!) but it never seems quite enough. Any advice would be gratefully received!

Ndp

Seaxwyn

Hi norm

I completely relate to what you say. I often wake up around 4 too and have a dark hour or too. It's hard not being able to talk about the one thing that is constantly on your mind. I find this website helps with that - a chance to have a chat and a laugh with people who know exactly how it feels.

If you want serious advice on cutting back, post your SOA here and people will spot the areas where you could tighten up. (for example could you save £1.40 every fortnight by not buying Private Eye - read it in the library instead!)

Great news that you have exams next month - does that mean you can go for higher paid work after that?

There's lots of support on here whether you want serious financial help or just to let off steam every now and then.

ltm07

I've felt down about OH's & my debts,we are facing the problem & trying our hardest to sort it out. My Mum was the only one who knew about our debts,until the other week when my brother called around & i was on the snowball calculator on whatsthe cost.com website! I told him not to say anything to anyone,but he told my other brother who's very well off,in the hope that he could help us. His money is nearly all tied up in properties & quite a few people owe him alot of money through rent arrears etc. I know that we would only have to ask & he would do his best to help us, but i wouldn't ask him as i don't think it would be fair as it's his money that he's worked so hard for & i'd hate to ever be in a position where if anything ever went wrong i couldn't pay him back. I don't mind who knows within the family,but i wouldn't like friends or work colleagues to know as i still think that there's a bit of a stigma to being in debt. That's why this forum is great to get everthing off your chest. Keep your chin up & try not to let it get you down too much. Good luck.

joeblack066

This site has saved my life. Become a regular poster too, and you will find you start to cope better. Post up an SOA and let the experts on here give you some advice, guidance, support and friendship. You are not alone, we are one big DFW family xx

hypno06

I cope by concentrating on the things we can do as a family when we are debt free, and the very positive things we are all learning along the way. My kids will be far less likely to get into problems than some of their friends because they know about saving up for things, comparing prices, looking for offers, and even about interest rates on debts!

Also, I know that by tackling things full on now, I should be in a position to help the kids through university, hoping to keep them away from student loans. If I do not tackle the debt full on, they will be on their own in higher education, and will be starting their adult life saddled with debt already!

Finally, this site keeps me sane. My diary is a place where I can rant away at the frustrations of a DFW life! I never ever thought I would spend this much time on a computer, yet I have paid off far more this year, since joining MSE than ever before!

rosiedee

Hi Norm,
Not a regular poster, but PLEASE stay in touch with this website, even if you feel you've nothing to say you will gain inspiration in bucket loads!!

I very rarely post but log on at least twice a day, usually much more and ALWAYS find some inspiration however small.

The situation we are all in sometimes becomes overwhelming and a scary place to be but in the immortal words of a very old friend of mine (who sadly is no longer with us), and I quote ' There's a lot of dead people who'd like to be worrying about that.'. Very profound I know, but a lot of truth in there also.

Keep your chin up

Rosiedee

LJD1_2

I coped with it all by logging on here a lot - sometimes I was down about it and sometimes positive but because we've all been in the same position you know you can post without being judged. I wouldn't have got through it without the support on here and people telling me I could do it. Keep posting and you'll get there xx

southernscouser

How do I cope?

There is a driving force inside me that wants me to be debt free so badly that I just do! I have no choice in the matter if I want to succeed.

But !!!!!! me it would be bloody hard without this site. It truly is a life saver.

But also I learnt that money really isn't that important. There isn't a currency on this planet that can buy you health and happiness.

Kaz2904

eatmyfish wrote: »

I dont't :j

I've never been in debt, no wage slavery for me :T :T :T :T :T

Am I the only person to notice that your replies are always negative and judgemental?
These forums are intended for advice, chat and company not nastiness.
I feel for you that you cannot be nice or helpful in your postings.

dreamer999

eatmyfish wrote: »

Honestly, my posts are positive :j

If I had been stupid enough to get into debt, well, I don't know what I would
do, life is worthless if you are a slave...

Have you got nothing better to do than post negative comments!! You might not have been stupid enough to get into debt but you are certainly stupid enough to sit on the computer all night posting stupid comments.

x_raphael_xx

eatmyfish wrote: »

Honestly, my posts are positive :j

If I had been stupid enough to get into debt, well, I don't know what I would
do, life is worthless if you are a slave...

Not everyone who is in debt is so because they are 'stupid'. Alot of people on this site have experienced difficulty and are in debt through no fault of their own, being off work due to health etc.

I don't feel guilty about my debt, I spent the money so I am paying it back. Everyone on this site is working hard to pay back what they owe.