TV free evenings

Georgiegirl256

steveouk wrote: »

She does do a few things when she wants to but if I even ask her if she has done something then it causes an argument. for example I said oh have you done the plates - after diner and we were in front of the tv - she had been through to the kitchen. then she went mad with me - I was only asking if they had been done for Christ sake - if she had said no would you mind doing them I am sure I would have done as she had cooked the diner.

?

Ah! I remember you now.

Not the blooming dishes again?!! :rotfl: Give it a rest on the dishes front!

Your wife has her ways and you have yours, and you need to find someway of meeting in the middle. She keeps the house nice and tidy whilst you are away, it isn't like it's a total sh*t tip when you get back, so cut her some slack.

I actually feel sorry for your wife, you sound a nightmare to live with. If my husband tried to be as controlling as you are, he'd probably get the same response your wife is giving you.

I can see how after being away for so long that you want to spend some time with her, but she has her own routines that you shouldn't try to tamper with.

Mr_Toad

Sailors and service personal are taught to be tidy, obsessively so.

Especially at sea, a place for everything and everything in it's place, ship shape in fact.

You need to turn it off when you get home, by your own admission it isn't working.

Unless you've lived with it it's very difficult to undertand and I doubt your wife will ever understand that there's a right way, a wrong way and the <insert service here> way.

j.e.j.

Cyberman60 wrote: »

I have a TV-free life !!

Good for you :beer: I only watch a couple of programmes per week, the rest isn't worth bothering with.

It sounds like there is more to this little spat than the tv though :undecided I don't go trawling through other people's past threads and then using it to pointscore (seems a bit rude to me) but reading what's been written on this one it does sound like there's a bit of history to this particular argument.

Person_one

j.e.j. wrote: »

Good for you :beer: I only watch a couple of programmes per week, the rest isn't worth bothering with.

It sounds like there is more to this little spat than the tv though :undecided I don't go trawling through other people's past threads and then using it to pointscore (seems a bit rude to me) but reading what's been written on this one it does sound like there's a bit of history to this particular argument.

Some of us just remember stuff, especially when it's really recent and repetitive, no need to trawl.

FBaby

SavingPennies wrote: »

You said: "Oh have you done the plates"

You meant: "I'm just checking cos I'm happy to do them if you haven't as you cooked the meal"

She heard: "I hope you've done the plates cos you know how it annoys me when you leave them out overnight cos you can't be bothered to wash up"

Just a possible explanation of how people can misread things...

Or maybe she thought 'is that all you can talk about, as soon as you open your mouth, it is to discuss chores, preferably those I haven't done within the timeframe you consider acceptable'!

FBaby

When I want to have a talk about us she sys we don't need to or that we should just get on with things and says I always want to talk. She says I don't listen but then neither does she as she has a stubborn streak that she admits to and I say well that's the problem when I am trying to talk things through she just gets angry and says leave it we don't need to talk.

I can't help but wonder whether she lives her life for when you are away. She is then happy and satisfied, and just bare it when you're there. She doesn't want to divorce because that would be losing the life she has when you are not there.

A bit of an extreme point of view, but maybe one worth not totally dismissing.

Edwardia

When we first lived together OH seemed to be a TV junkie. The TV broke and we couldn't afford to get it fixed.

It was summer, and we lived in the country. We discovered dinner at the dining table, and an hour long walk after dinner. A ten minute train journey took us to the nearest town, for cinema. There were several village pubs and we bought books from charity shops and borrowed them from the library. We also had more sex.

We didn't get the TV fixed. OH confessed it was just visual wallpaper and he was zoning out. He had just wanted to unwind after his day.

His dad was a chef so when he started commuting, OH took over the cooking. If I was stuck at Clacket Lane, last thing I'd want to do afterwards is cook but he loved it.

Once we got into laptops, we did get into DVDs and catch up, but we only watch a few shows.

OH is now based at home, but he's generally out across SE three days a week. When he gets home, we sit and have a mug of tea, discuss our day and then he goes cook by himself.

Could you cook for her when you're home ? Ask first tho she might be territorial abt her kitchen. If she says yes, do allow her some unwind time before you serve it.

My OH is ex military and he told me my ironing wasn't up to military standards !! :eek: I told him to do it himself and he still does. :rotfl:

Civilian partners shouldn't be treated like military subordinates. If you go round after she's cleaned, you make her feel resentful and inadequate. If it's not how you'd do it, so what ?

duchy

Or maybe she wonders what happened to the fun bloke she married and wonders who this control freak is who is dressed in his body.

She probably looks forward to him coming home.....and when he does he hands her a cleaning rota instead of a bunch of roses !

FBaby wrote: »

I can't help but wonder whether she lives her life for when you are away. She is then happy and satisfied, and just bare it when you're there. She doesn't want to divorce because that would be losing the life she has when you are not there.

A bit of an extreme point of view, but maybe one worth not totally dismissing.

74jax

I don't know why we have a tv licence for the amount we watch it, we manage tv free fine .

Gloomendoom

onlyroz wrote: »

Dinner infront of the TV every day? No no no no no. Breakfast and lunch, perhaps,

Really? I didn't realise telly started that early.