TV free evenings

steveouk

Hi there,


Just on this specific point do any couples find they are able to have evenings free of TV?


I appreciate that my wife likes to relax by watching TV but every time I suggest we get on with some things together like sort out some photos and put music on for a couple of hours she goes into a rage.


She just seems to want the TV on most of the time. I managed to get her to sit and eat the diner I had prepared at the diner table last night but that is unusual as usually she will want to eat in front of the TV.


I was always brought up that diner is eaten at the table. I don't mind having it in front of the tv some nights but when it becomes a habit I just feel she becomes engrossed in the TV.

HappyMJ

Almost every evening...difficult to change someone who is addicted to the box though. If you make the dinner table look as attractive as possible and schedule dinner around her favourite programs then it might be more successful. Do you have a Sky+ box or a PVR to record everything whilst she's away from it? I can't really help but I wish you luck..don't try too hard though you might push her away.

Thinking a bit more what about card games after dinner? Scrabble? Martin seems to be a big fan of that. Something to keep you all around the table talking.

mogwai

No real advice here as my OH is the same as your wife, to him, relaxing equates being in front of tv, and worse, he likes to watch it in bed so before we had our first baby whole Sundays could be spent in bed watching tv - aasghh!

I sympathise - looking forward to reading any ideas

duchy

Sounds like you don't like TV and she feels you are trying to control her.
Perhaps the alternative you are offering to watching TV isn't appealing enough ?

I doubt if you cooked her a fab meal and served it by candlelight she'd even notice the TV was off.

I'm not fussed about TV either way but if my partner tried to control me like he was my parent rather than my partner and didn't respect we have different interests then I'd think our relationship was in trouble.

You are coming across here as not that you want to spend more time with her but that you are trying to get her to do what you want to do. Bit controlling .

steveouk

I suggested just spending an hour after diner sorting out our photos as I will be away soon and want to make the most of our time. It just feels that she has no interest in spending time together that does not include having the TV on.


She says I am being ridiculous and that everyone else who is normal comes home and flops in front of the TV. Whilst I don't doubt that a lot of people do that they surly do not do it every evening!

Gloomendoom

duchy wrote: »

I doubt if you cooked her a fab meal and served it by candlelight she'd even notice the TV was off.

She would probably think that there had been a power cut.

Gloomendoom

steveouk wrote: »

She says I am being ridiculous and that everyone else who is normal comes home and flops in front of the TV. Whilst I don't doubt that a lot of people do that they surly do not do it every evening!

I'm not sure whether or not my wife and I are 'normal', but we don't flop in front of the TV every night. In fact we rarely flop in front of the TV any night. The telly can go for days without being switched on at all.

steveouk

Ok so maybe she feels I am trying to control her and that she can control the TV it always does what she wants and never argues back!


I suppose I just have to accept that she finds TV more appealing than me!
Even if I go to all the effort of making a nice meal etc I don't feel that it is really appreciated as once finished she will say ok right you go wash up I am going to watch some telly.

Mattygroves2

It is also my OHs way of relaxing so yes evenings in the week he gets in and dinner is eaten in front of the TV. I also tend to eat in front of the TV and then depending on what he is watching either stay there or disappear to mess about on my laptop which is my way of relaxing.

I get him away from it by eating out probably on average once a week which we both enjoy and makes sure we chat together. Jobs like sorting out photos happen at weekends during the day and we tend to eat lunch at the table when we're in. We also tend to share cooking duties at the weekend so will chat away whilst cooking.

The TV is rarely on during the day unless I'm ironing or there is a Grand Prix on but even then he will usually record it to watch in the evening.

It works for us and I can't see him ever changing.

Georgiegirl256

steveouk wrote: »

Hi there,


Just on this specific point do any couples find they are able to have evenings free of TV?


I appreciate that my wife likes to relax by watching TV but every time I suggest we get on with some things together like sort out some photos and put music on for a couple of hours she goes into a rage.

A rage? Seriously? If she reacts like that I'd be abit worried, as it seems abit extreme!

Whilst you are in the house, the TV is physically there, a distraction, and she's just going to be sitting there thinking of what she's missing. So (finances permitting), take her out for a meal, take her bowling or to the cinema, go on a nice walk/cycle ride etc.

When we're in the TV is nearly always on. I like my soaps and crap reality TV and the like, my husband goes upstairs when they're on (to listen to music and play his guitar) and then the TV is his to watch shows like Strikeback or 24, or we watch something together that we've recorded.

However, we're not that addicted to it that one of us would fly into a rage, and can easily go without it and do other activities.

margaretclare

I couldn't live like this.

Really, I couldn't. In particular, eating in front of the TV is just about the most uncivilised habit. It's an insult to the food which has been prepared for you by somebody, and the person you're eating with. It is also extremely bad for you and has been described in terms of the 'obesity epidemic' - people just do not notice what they're eating. I've actually seen this, on TV programmes like 'Secret Eaters'.

There is an incredible load of cr*p on TV. Equally, there are some very interesting items, but if the TV stays on all the time you wouldn't select what was interesting from what was pure garbage.