Brogden's Debt Disaster & Self Managed DMP!

grannyx2

Sorry to hear this, I think you are a real treasure and would make anyone smile with your kindly ways.

Thanks for the visit to mine and the sound advice, which I'm going to take

I hope you have a great day x

Granny x

supersaver1000

Broggers, I've just been trying to work out my feelings around Mr SS's overspending. Our debt is undoubtedly causing stress and having a negative effect on our relationship. Well, who is the main cause of our debt - Mr SS - so unfortunately for him although the spending (and Any goods) are a distance memory, the effects are still here and so is the blame and the bad feeling - he has to take it on the chin. Not sure what the money equivalent is of 'moment on the lips, lifetime on the hips'.

I also figure that when he spends like that it means he doesn't care about the effect it has on his family and also he cares more about something, someone more than us - so double bitterness.

So while I do think you are doing a great job, I can empathise with MrsB. You both may have to bear it a little while longer too. It should be good discouragement for the future though.

SS xx

Historybuff

How's it going, Brogden? Hope you're managing to stay on top of things.

Brogden

Historybuff wrote: »

How's it going, Brogden? Hope you're managing to stay on top of things.

Its 'onwards & upwards' HB!!

I have just posted on yours

Speak soon,

Brogden x

Brogden

supersaver1000 wrote: »

Broggers, I've just been trying to work out my feelings around Mr SS's overspending. Our debt is undoubtedly causing stress and having a negative effect on our relationship. Well, who is the main cause of our debt - Mr SS - so unfortunately for him although the spending (and Any goods) are a distance memory, the effects are still here and so is the blame and the bad feeling - he has to take it on the chin. Not sure what the money equivalent is of 'moment on the lips, lifetime on the hips'.

I also figure that when he spends like that it means he doesn't care about the effect it has on his family and also he cares more about something, someone more than us - so double bitterness.

So while I do think you are doing a great job, I can empathise with MrsB. You both may have to bear it a little while longer too. It should be good discouragement for the future though.

SS xx

Thanks SS......I can see this is a burning issue for you.......particularly for it having such an effect on a strong lady . It can't however be a 'battle of the sexes' !! The fact that you are, of course female and Mr. SS is male cannot really have anything to do with the issue which I understand and sympathise with completely........or as much as one can over the internet . I do sense a little of 'the union of the sisterhood' here which is great.

There is no real 'union of the brotherhood.' Men are wired differently.....generally less loyal and lots of men think lots of men are complete plonkers !! We're quite endearing really :rotfl:!!

I like you standing up for Mrs. B....I do it all the time in public and she does for me. There is no excuse about the amount of debt here but it was not accumulated in the way you advise the SS debt was. Brogden has been a complete softy and doormat and said yes to everything for the family. His ability to earn big money has reduced as that is the way the industry / world has gone. However, how much has Brogden taken and spent on himself? Very little. Simply, budgetary controls have been next to none.....loads of wine at home.....loads of take outs......loads of fags for Mr & Mrs (Mr has given up) and never questioning any expense or request made.

As far as going out is concerned, for around 20 years now I have gone out with mates 2 to 3 times a year. They all go out weekly but after work and travel I am just not up to it - just as well :rotfl:!!!!

What I am saying SS is I don't think Mr. SS and I are comparable at all. I can see he is a nice bloke with a heart of gold and I am much less sociable !!

I am painfully analytic, always have been but never applied this to living expenses and debtbusting until the last couple of years......wot a numpty !! Mrs. B is not too keen on 'analytics' and prefers to live in a haze and will pick at me when I 'overload' on any idea as basically its my fault that I even need to consider anything MSE !!

All the very best with Mr. SS's 'incentive payment'.....I know that would not do it for me but you know him best. I was wondering if pooling your income and expenses if a 'profit sharing scheme' might be the thing :rotfl:!!! You could be a bit like John Lewis.......with you at the helm to ensure good ethics and fair play!

I must hit the shower and get going

Brogden x

supersaver1000

We are all so different aren't we with money and add relationships into the mix (or vice versa) and its a minefield, but you are so right, we are all the same. Trying the best for our families. And I'm far from perfect, like you I have enjoyed the holidays, new cars and family things and not said no - until recently. Maybe it's time for me to relax a bit and accept that we've done what thousands of others have done (overspend), stop beating ourselves up about it and go forward positively but with the MSE wisdom. As someone said to me recently - 'be brave!'. You only live once and I have actually got very broad shoulders.

Hope you weren't late for work!

Onwards and upwards. Enough said.

Brogden

supersaver1000 wrote: »

We are all so different aren't we with money and add relationships into the mix (or vice versa) and its a minefield, but you are so right, we are all the same. Trying the best for our families. And I'm far from perfect, like you I have enjoyed the holidays, new cars and family things and not said no - until recently. Maybe it's time for me to relax a bit and accept that we've done what thousands of others have done (overspend), stop beating ourselves up about it and go forward positively but with the MSE wisdom. As someone said to me recently - 'be brave!'. You only live once and I have actually got very broad shoulders.

Hope you weren't late for work!

Onwards and upwards. Enough said.

Mrs B enjoys the holidays!! Me........I'm not invited but I don't mind.........a little bit of peace :T xx

Brogden x

supersaver1000

Brogden wrote: »

Mrs B enjoys the holidays!! Me........I'm not invited but I don't mind.........a little bit of peace :T xx

Brogden x

Broggers, you sound like me!

SuperDave

Brogden

supersaver1000 wrote: »

Broggers, you sound like me!

SuperDave

Who is SuperDave? Is that Mr SS?

Brogden

Good Morning All !!


Well……no panties today …….I thought it was time to get serious for ‘Brogden’s Seriously Boring Financial Update.’ :eek:

Frame of mind……..? OK I think…..I got taken to the cleaners with the KFC last night though…..I didn’t know a second mortgage was required until I got to the till. My phone then rang and a voice told me not to forget the gravy (which I had forgotten) and had to pay £1.49 for that on top. Brogden tried to dilute the ‘average spend per head’ by getting himself a frozen pizza from Leedl for 89p – it was nice too……..nobody enjoyed the KFC (I hate it when that happens)………sometimes being MSE yields the best results…..pity its only me that practices this .

Right…..now to the grim stuff. I am restless financially……..I want to act on the mortgage (the first charge – there’s only one – the above was a joke!) I am very, very inspired by two colleagues here…..Ali-OK and In Need of Direction for their serious attention to and gob-smacking success on the mortgages. I want to be the same but I have a tatty ragbag of unsecured debts . Obviously the mortgage is a priority debt, if its not paid off at some stage we are out in the cold. Part of me says string along the debts and put all effort next year into the mortgage and I would do this except for the fact that I should have access to some capital in February / March and I am going to try to go F&F crazy! Should I put this capital into the mortgage…….? No – not this time and my reasons are:-

- I need clarity of thought and getting rid of a lot of these painfully tedious debts will simplify my budgeting big time and make ‘mortgage paydown’ easier to achieve in the future.
- Less unpleasant items coming through the letter box and less of the occasional incoming phone calls should ease the domestic unrest.
- If I unexpectedly die there will not be mountains of debts for somebody to have to sift through which could embarrass my ghost.

On the last point, I have to say that I never would have thought of this except a DD caused me to have a worrying LBM when she asked her mum ‘if anything happens to you and dad, are we responsible to pay all of this?’ Well there’s life assurance and equity in the house but I really do not want to leave all of this lot behind me…….…period .

In my F&F splurge, priority will be given to the three debts of Mrs. B’s as I do not want those being part of any calculation if things should go that way.

Onward and upwards. Coming back to the mortgage…….I had to have my online access restarted as I had lost my password. After doing my envelopes, I had £1.65 left in my current account so I sent it to the mortgage!!! It showed online the following day. I then started a new SO for just £10.00 per month and the first payment went a couple of weeks ago. I am now £11.65 overpaid and it’s a pretty heady feeling :T

At the moment, I don’t know how much debt reduction I can achieve on the unsecured debts with these F&F’s but if one or two won’t play then they will have to accept that my attention will start to be moving more and more to the mortgage and they will be ‘stuffed’ with long term plans. If I should die with a debt or two then so be it but I do intend in spring next year that my financial landscape should not look like the work of a complete idiot……even if it was !!

Have a great day everybody,

Brogden