Brogden's Debt Disaster & Self Managed DMP!

Brogden

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

Just weather that storm. You can't afford alternative accommodation

Thanks for bringing me down to earth INOD

To be honest, I never rose off the ground !! Unfortunately all of this isn't new so (here we go)......onwards and upwards :T

Brogden x

Brogden

dawnybabes wrote: »

You're a team so mrs b should be supporting you :-)

In a way she does support me....whenever there's a gargantuan bust up I wonder if she will support me (in her own way where you wouldn't know it was support) again. If she doesn't she doesn't.....I can't do a thing to influence it one way or the other !!

Nice to have you around DB!

Brogden x

Brogden

supersaver1000 wrote: »

Oh my. Don't let Mrs B know about Experian. Sounds like she'd have a shock. :eek:

Like INOD says, just weather the storm. The main point is you've had the LBM and the only way (for the debts) is down. At least you've kept hold of your house. Our decision was to take the plunge and start afresh (hopefully). Luckily we have a fab country cottage on very long term, somewhere we could never afford to buy. Will let you know in a couple of years if it was the right choice. Your choice is a little harder, but I think may be better long term.

Thanks SS!

You misunderstand.....no 'secret debts!' The whole financial side of life is a blur to Mrs B. I am not keeping anything secret.......its just the embarrassment of being in default with Mr. Marks and Mr. Spencer and its in her name too. M & S isn't a predator but a highly respectable store for clothing and fodder you don't want to be in default there

Brogden x

supersaver1000

Ah, pleased to hear it. Mr SS never wanted to hear about the debts, and trying to talk to him ended in a row. It's so much better now I've had my LBM and have taken full responsibility. I have to accept my responsibility in his spending, even though he was the one who liked to flash the cash. (Although readers of my thread will know he made it very difficult for me to get a grip of it all). Now I'm on top of it, the tables are turned and there's no hiding the spends. I'm better at 'not spending' money and I shoukd have grasped the metel yonks ago. It's never too late though.

liltdiddylilt

Ah Brogden. It sounds like times are rough for you at home. I feel for you. The stress of the debts, plus trying to keep everyone happy at home. Well that is a bad balance to try and keep. I hope nothing gives. Surely Mrs B accumulated some of these debts herself? It can't all be your fault for being the one 'in charge' surely? Big hugs.

'When life gives you lemons, screw the lemonade. Grab the salt and Tequila'

grannyx2

It's very hard when one person in the household is shouldering the blame even though others in the family benefit from and probably contributed to the predator list x

Brogden

Thanks everybody !!

I usually try to answer every message individually but I am on my way out to drain the tank on business today so its a group message !!

I have mentioned before that I was using my 'envelope system' and last month it worked beautifully, I didn't use my debit card once and I was relatively 'chilled' outside of the stress pouring down from work . Due to poor organisation caused largely by that work stress the envelopes didn't really kick in this month. I bought some modest Christmas presents on payday, some Christmas booze (for the ladies not me) and cleared two minor creditors. I then didn't have my eye on the ball and now my expenses are late and I arrive in the situation I am now in.

There is never any sort of disagreement in this house where the subject in hand is discussed or argued about in isolation. It's in with the kitchen sink and the contents of the cutlery draw every time so I have just been through a complete and total character assassination. It has happened thousands of times .

Since being a young lad, I have had some of my worst ever experiences in the run up to Christmas so I am not the biggest fan of it.This year I am so hacked off with my job that two weeks without it is spurring me on in a big way .

On the subject of 'domestic unrest,' in all honesty I think some is inevitable if a man cohabits with a woman. There is no typical woman nor typical man but none of us can say that the two aren't wired up completely differently. If I didn't realise this something would have happened years ago. I remind myself of this every time I have the kitchen sink thrown at me because somewhere in a woman's programming is the ability to love and to be devoted and this is much more natural to a woman than a man. One minute each year the woman may indicate this :rotfl:!!!!

Have a good day all.

Brogden

NoOneAround

Brogden wrote: »

Thanks SS!

M & S isn't a predator but a highly respectable store for clothing and fodder *** you don't want to be in default there

Brogden x

*** and panties and tights;)


Sorry - couldn't resist:D


Sorry to hear it's been a rough few days Brogden.
We're all proud of you really - Keep going and am sure Mrs B will realise eventually what a gem she has:T
xx
NOA

Eager_Elephant

Brogden wrote: »

There is never any sort of disagreement in this house where the subject in hand is discussed or argued about in isolation. It's in with the kitchen sink and the contents of the cutlery draw every time so I have just been through a complete and total character assassination. It has happened thousands of times .

Since being a young lad, I have had some of my worst ever experiences in the run up to Christmas so I am not the biggest fan of it.This year I am so hacked off with my job that two weeks without it is spurring me on in a big way .

On the subject of 'domestic unrest,' in all honesty I think some is inevitable if a man cohabits with a woman. There is no typical woman nor typical man but none of us can say that the two aren't wired up completely differently. If I didn't realise this something would have happened years ago. I remind myself of this every time I have the kitchen sink thrown at me because somewhere in a woman's programming is the ability to love and to be devoted and this is much more natural to a woman than a man. One minute each year the woman may indicate this :rotfl:!!!!

Have a good day all.

Brogden

Sorry to hear the envelope system did not get off the ground this month - now you know it works hopefully it will be back for January.


I used to be like Mrs B - [strike]if[/strike] when my DH did something wrong I would also turn it into a character assassination. I did not even think it was out of the ordinary at the time but now looking back I often wonder why he did not leave.


I blame my hormones completely (I know this is a cop out but in my case it was true). Once I was enlightened to my behaviour I started taking Agnus Castus and it has been the saving of my marriage and sanity.

Recently I ran out and the atmosphere at home was awful, and I caught myself on a huge rant so quickly got some more and peace has been restored.


Have you posted before about how the family finances are dealt with? Do you have a joint account or keep separate accounts and each paying certain bills?

Brogden

NoOneAround wrote: »

*** and panties and tights;)


Sorry - couldn't resist:D


Sorry to hear it's been a rough few days Brogden.
We're all proud of you really - Keep going and am sure Mrs B will realise eventually what a gem she has:T
xx
NOA

NOAh, my dear........I was including 'panties and tights' in the category 'clothing.' I was brought up to understand they were not to be mentioned but......tut tut.......the girls of today.....they talk about anything and everything......its very embarassing indeed :o:o:o:o

Brogden x