Marriage break-up, how can I get him out of the house?

Trying_to_be_good

This is a little complex, so apologies and thanks for reading.

My husband and I have split up. Difficult relationship, much more difficult when he can home from an operational tour in Afghanistan. Married for five years, no kids, he has four from a previous relationship.

He had no savings, so when "we" bought the house all the deposit was mine, and I've overpaid the mortgage in the meantime. The deeds split the house 75% to me, 25% to him, in reality I've paid more than that, the mortgage is about 30% LTV. The house has been on the market some Easter but isn't sold.

I work away most of the time, weekend are very awkward when he's there, I try and be away when he has his kids there (at my expense).

He's getting more nasty, only one physical assault the rest more psychological, and has now accused me of bullying him at work. Somewhat ironic.

After the physical assault I petitioned for divorce do everything have a decree nisi but I won't apply for the absolute until the house finances are sorted out. I've applied to the mortgage company to transfer into my sole name, have a decision in principle and am awaiting them to check anything else as it's a bit weird.

I haven't gone after any of his pension, I just want him out of my life.

Is there a way to get him out of the house? He is paying half the bills at the moment, and is on the title deeds and joint mortgage. My life is a misery at the moment.

Thanks for any advice.

RAS

You may be able to get an occupation order based on DV. Did you report it to the police?

Trying_to_be_good

No, I've not reported it to the Police as I've been trying to protect his job, and myself from going through that. Stupidly, I still love him.

madvixen

You mentioned that things got worse when he returned from Afghanistan. Is it possible he is suffering from PTSD? Are either of you getting support from your Units Welfare officer? It might be worth speaking to them.

Stay strong x

Trying_to_be_good

Thanks, madvixen - he IS the welfare officer?! I can only get help for me by potentially trashing his career by going "public".

He won't entertain that he does anything wrong.

justme111

The title of this thread does not sound good. Do you realise he has as much right to be in that house as you do ?

Trying_to_be_good

If you discount the way he's treated me, and how much less he's paid in financially, then yes, he has as much right as me. That's why he's still there at the moment, but I can't take much more.

justme111

You can either cohabit while getting financial agreement sorted. Or move out. Or try to provoke him and get him removed - dirty deed while wearing innocent white clothes. If you can not stand cohabiting with him you are free to move out. Trying to remove him because YOU want the house to yourself is not fair. That's what you trying to do judging by the title of this thread and your posts. Would not life be magic if every time you don't get on with someone you could just remove that person ?!

gettingtheresometime

I didn't think you could have a mortgage in a sole name if the property was in joint.

Trying_to_be_good

justme111 wrote: »

You can either cohabit while getting financial agreement sorted. Or move out. Or try to provoke him and get him removed - dirty deed while wearing innocent white clothes. If you can not stand cohabiting with him you are free to move out. Trying to remove him because YOU want the house to yourself is not fair. That's what you trying to do judging by the title of this thread and your posts. Would not life be magic if every time you don't get on with someone you could just remove that person ?!

So you condone his violence and think I should be the one to move out? I'm trying to buy him out, even though I don't want to stay in the house so will keep it on the market. It was bought for proximity to his work and his children, more fool me.

Trying_to_be_good

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

I didn't think you could have a mortgage in a sole name if the property was in joint.

I don't think you can. I'm trying to sort out buying him out , but that will take a minimum of a few weeks, and I'm at the end of my tether after months of this behaviour.