This is a let off steam, a rant just that

victory

GobbledyGook wrote: »

In that case, unreasonable or not, I'd be a bit ranty as well.

Busy or not it doesn't take much to touch base with your OH when they've got a major appointment.

I hope your decisions aren't too difficult and things get better for you soon.

Thank you, the docs have the decisions, I just have to agree with their expertise and trust in them.

No it would have just taken OH a mo... More about the lack of interest it portrays rather than the whys and wherefores of placing the call.

victory

catkins wrote: »

I don't blame you for being annoyed and upset - I would be too.


The least he could have done was make a quick phone call to see how you were. Depending on how serious the health issues are and how worried you were about it did he never even think about coming with you? I know my OH would and has done. Even if I go to the Dr for something minor my OH rings to see how it went and if I am ok. Surely that is what you do when you love and care about someone?

I went to the consultant alone through choice, working day and all that, it was going to be the deciding consultation, we knew that, exactly feel a bit unloved and uncared for at the mo:eek: am I really worth nothing?:o

victory

There is nothing I can do about it now anyway, as I always say ' it is what it is' sure to be forgiven and forgotten just feel grrrr:D

WestonDave

Whilst I wouldn't want to tar all men with the same brush as me, I have been known on occasion to react somewhat in the manner that your OH has (i.e. off hand verging on aggressive) when I know I've screwed up and I'm annoyed at myself for being so thoughtless - except the anger gets expressed outwards rather than inwards. (if that makes any sense). If he's like me he may apologise later or he may just hope it blows over and he can go back to being generally OK but occasionally thoughtless!

victory

WestonDave wrote: »

Whilst I wouldn't want to tar all men with the same brush as me, I have been known on occasion to react somewhat in the manner that your OH has (i.e. off hand verging on aggressive) when I know I've screwed up and I'm annoyed at myself for being so thoughtless - except the anger gets expressed outwards rather than inwards. (if that makes any sense). If he's like me he may apologise later or he may just hope it blows over and he can go back to being generally OK but occasionally thoughtless!

Yes you hit the nail on the head from his point of view:) I would say he's going for option 2:)

gettingtheresometime

victory wrote: »

Had an appointment at docs today, big day, lots of decisions which way to go with meds, a bit nervous and apprehensive, OH knew, one would have thought he could spare a moments thought and ring or text to see how the meet went ?

never rang , yes he was at work, yes he was busy, yes he's much more important than me as he brings more to the table , works longer, obviously gets more tired,yes he's home now so can ask now instead he tells me defensively and unapologetically that it's all my fault that I have turned it into a big issue, that I should go and sulk upstairs,

now I'm upstairs, very annoyed, been told that I am unreasonable and ridiculous, crumbs a lot for thinking my OH could be bothered in his day to put in a call !


yes understood it is all pointless all the negatives but really is it too much to have a bit of support?

Have to say if you wanted him there then you should have asked him to be there and I hate people ringing me up in work wanting to talk about things like this especially if I can't talk openly

victory

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Have to say if you wanted him there then you should have asked him to be there and I hate people ringing me up in work wanting to talk about things like this especially if I can't talk openly

Never said I did want him there. He can talk openly if he chose to.

peachyprice

Why didn't you text him when you left the appointment? That's what we always do if either of us has something on.

"Hi I'm out now"
"how did it go"
"oh, ok, they need to amputate my head, but nothing to worry about"
"ok, tell me all about it when I get home tonight"

Problem solved.

I'm sure if I sat an waited for my OH to contact me while he was at work I would have a pretty long wait to, it doesn't mean his thoughtless or that he doesn't care, it means he's waiting to hear from me.

victory

peachyprice wrote: »

Why didn't you text him when you left the appointment? That's what we always do if either of us has something on.

"Hi I'm out now"
"how did it go"
"oh, ok, they need to amputate my head, but nothing to worry about"
"ok, tell me all about it when I get home tonight"

Problem solved.

I'm sure if I sat an waited for my OH to contact me while he was at work I would have a pretty long wait to, it doesn't mean his thoughtless or that he doesn't care, it means he's waiting to hear from me.

True , foolishly thought he would ring

gettingtheresometime

victory wrote: »

True , foolishly thought he would ring

And gps are well known for keeping to appoitment times aren't they -and in fairness how did he know when you'd be out?

When you say he can talk freely does that mean he has a private office ? I can speak freely in my office but as its open plan I wouldn't want to talk about my OH's medical situation/treatment with all and sundry listening in.

I think you need to cut him some slack.