Bowel cancer, stoma, illestomy bags, my journey with my fathers illness

ukmaggie45

fed_up_and_stressed wrote: »

Thinking of you

Me too, Mum2One. Hoping so much that your Dad is continuing to have some good days.

On evenings such as this evening, when it's very calm and the sky has streaks of colour between the clouds, and the lighst across the river are reflected in the Mersey, I look out my window and think of my friends across the internet who are going through hard times. This evening I am thinking of you and your Dad.

Best wishes to you and your family from Liverpool.

faerielight

Sorry to hear your worries about your dad. If you ever want to message me about ostomy related stuff, feel free to PM me, as I have had both a colostomy and ileostomy

mum2one

Excuse the expression - but he was given a kick up the rear 2day by the mcmillian nurse - she told he could try to eat - so for dinner he had scrambled eggs - he only wanted one egg - he did have 1 egg (from each hand...) and some yogurt.

AT the mo shes booked in for weekly visits she's trying to get him back in the hospice as a day care (once a week) what he was doing.... it will do him good. The plan is when he is there to review his meds..

Got oncology 2mor - view to some pain relief.

He looks well - take the good days as it comes xx

Torry_Quine

Thanks for the update

mum2one

no news from the OT or anyone to be honest.... he's tired today, we had visitors yesterday his niece came up from Hereford (1.30hrs away), he had a good chat and a reminese about old times. SHe brought a photo of there wedding day, and one from when I was bridesmaid for her sister, (only 11 at the time).

Then one of the family friends came, theyve been through / going throu hell and back the hubby being checked for cancer, the friend - theyve discovered a tumour on her perputity gland, between them there regulars at the hospital.

Thou he did ask last night could I get him some more cup a soups, and i got him a pack of 6 mini rice, he's eat one, had some icecream.

Think yesterday tired him out.

...
I felt so guilty but please I did it, made DD go out with her friends, she asks on a fri ngt what are we doing at wend, said bar going to the nowt planned. I said make arrangements to go out with your friends..
Ended up as mums taxi... (use to be grandads taxi), pick her friend take them to town, pick them back up and donate £10 2wards drinks at starbucks....

She enjoyed, it did her the world of good.

.....
Digressing again - my cousin (the niece that came) shes researching ww1 as our grandad (dads - dad) was in ww1 - comes out in conversation last ngt - dad thinks there a pic of his dad in uniform - the photo is on a frame - under a box out in the shed.. he wouldnt have the photo in the house ...why I dont know.... do I ask, do I just accept its there.. Either way he said if I find it. my cousin can have it...

We were hoping to go out 2mor, but he will need a wheelchair (suppose to have one delievered fridaY...) so that has put plans back.

Subject to weather - next weekend (even thou mothers day), got tickets to a falconary centre (wonder around the birds and meet some of them) really more a forerunner to booking a 2hr walk, bird experience etc...

Thinking about going to feed the geese / birds - we always use to go to this lake (25 mins away), always went when I was a kid, weird when I was expecting DD, I use to go there with her dad - it seemed a secure place (shes never met her dad),
weve been as a family, with mum and dad...

xx

mum2one

Its been an up and down few days, another cousin came to see him Tuesday, he had a good natter, we had DD off school on Wednesday, she was sick as a dog, ended up in bed all day... in a way worked out best as the mcmillian nurse came. I was having a power nap... so missed her as well.

He went to the hospice today - he's been going since the original cancer in 2014, first time he has been for 4 weeks (had all the app's and he was being sick..)

If you had seen him this morning he was like a 2 yr old getting ready for a play, he had energy in his eyes, looked really smart, (he wears joggers at home), knowing that he would be shattered when he came back home. I took DD to the cinema and out for her tea. (Cheap tea as had £20 voucher), just cost me £2 pub meAL.

following on updates..
Have wheelchair, perching seat for kitchen, grip stick things (from OT), there coming out to do an assesment next week.

From 2day - had a check up by the one doctor at the hospice, they've given him some fruit juice based supplement drinks, been told to try tinned soup rather than cup a soup, swop tea for hot choc, bournvita (unless ur in Indian or pay a fortune can't really get), or ovaltine.

The upset of the moment....

He was asked had he any thoughts about where he wants to be when the time comes - he has decided to go in the hospice. Its really upset mum, its upset me, although I have told him I will support him in every way, even if I disagree with him, I havent told DD yet...

In my heart of hearts that he would have all the medical care / doctors / nurses etc and we can go and see him, (were very lucky as we have a hospice 15 mins from home) but To say I am scared stiff is an understatement.

Hoping that the weather is better this weekend, really want to try and get out and about, trying to keep things normal for DD, shes going for a sleepover Sat ngt, she was worried about leaving dad, as I said (hopefully) we're go out Sat morning, he'd be tired so would be in bed earlier, then Sunday planning going out in the afternoon, its a win win all round.

just wish there was a miracle xx

mum2one

I've gone a whole 24 hrs without crying.. doing good.

He's had a good day 2day, swopped his cup a soup for tin soup, swopped his tea for ovaltine and hot choc (all more nutritious).

2ngt... With DDs help. we made a batch of pea and ham soup.

Ive ordered him a jar of bournvita (they only sell it in India now...) £8 for a jar... he use to love it xx

gwynlas

Thinking of you mumtoone and whilst it's obviously a sad journey at least you are able to help your father enjoy what time he has left.
His choosing hospice care for the end means that you can be fully in the moment with him whilst others are doing the physical care role.
Glad you managed not to cry for 24 hours, try to enjoy the weekend with your mum and daughter. When the time comes at least you'll know that you did all you could and that he'll be at rest.

Torry_Quine

You're doing really well.

ukmaggie45

I'm very much hoping you are having a good time out with your daughter today. Did you make it to see the falcons?

Your Dad and Mum are very lucky to have you helping them.

Hugs from Liverpool.