Am I doing the right thing?

shoe*diva79

fivetide wrote: »

That was exactly my thought. Difficult to harm a baby but a slightly older child could easily be the focus of the frustration. This is something that certainly needs addressing.

When I spoke to him about it on Friday I hit a brick wall. He refused to believe that the son could do anything, citing him as the most gentle child he knows. He said often when DD was upset after being told off, the son tried to comfort her.


That's sad of course. Any chance of meeting just the two of you so you can have an open chat without risking DD being around?

Tried on Saturday, arranged to meet in a local coffee shop.


The mattress on the floor doesn't sound ideal though.

I agree, and I said I didn't think it was appropriate but his words were 'it was like a little holiday for DD'

My ex is an intelligent, professional man. I am shocked how he is acting and his lack of willingness to resolve.

FBaby

My ex is an intelligent, professional man. I am shocked how he is acting and his lack of willingness to resolve.

And I expect he is saying something along the line of 'my ex is an intelligent mother and I am shocked that she thinks she can suddenly control everything relating to my relationship with my daughter and impose time when I can see her or talk to her'

I expect that deep inside, he knows that your DD told the truth, however, it was his instinct to defend her because not doing so implied a real issue in his relationship that understandibly, wasn't something he wanted to share with you. So he reacted defensively on instinct, and everything escalated from there, to reach a point where it has become a control issue between the two of you.

shoe*diva79

Yes, your probably right FBaby.

I dont think he would appreciate me telling him that tho!

shoe*diva79

Me again..

Just another update...

Children's services have called me back today. They are perfectly happy with the way I have proceeded and handled the situation and have noted what has happened on their system should we have to go back to court in the future.

They could offer no more advice then CAFCASS already had in that I continue to offer supervised contact until we can agree on the way forward. I mentioned I had emailed ex again yesterday and they said best thing is to leave the ball in his court now as I have done all I can.

So now a waiting game to see if my ex books mediation or tried to enforce the order.

shoe*diva79

*Update*

Well 13 weeks since contact has taken place, not heard a thing from my daughters father and today some court papers have been popped through my letterbox presumably from my ex with a court date set for 4th Dec.

He has written a short paragraph basically saying contact has been completely stopped since 17th August. No mention of supervised contact, mediation or anything else offered whilst we tried to resolve.

I have a form to complete and one of the questions is about if a child is at risk from any kind of abuse which ill be ticking as yes meaning I need to complete another form that Ill have to go to the court to get.