Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK

NoOneAround

• Todays' essential admin for work done, invoices paid/ letters ready to post when out to do school run :T
• Schools admin dealt with / replies sent.
• Dinner ready : Homemade leek and potato soup with ploughmans with enough left over to freeze some for another time.
• Jobsearch done - found several promising ones to apply for.
• Taken 10 photos of items to sell.
• Labelled some more uniform.
• Searched Tesco direct and hopefully will be able to buy daughter uni kit on clubcard vouchers in store boost.
• Not +VE .....Put washing in but didn't switch it on :mad:

Found my Dream Diary....started about 6 years ago but haven't looked at for a couple of years. Boosted me some more....The first page as a photo of my children on their first days at school. So I knew 7 years ago it was possibly going to be a struggle....and I've just ready a lovely quote
"If you want the rainbow you've got to put up with a little rain."


So let it pour ....I'm heading for my rainbow!:p

hohum

NoOneAround wrote: »

Sat down with daughter last night to finalise accommodation for university and try and get her to do a budget sheet to work out what she can and can't do until she organises a part time job.


Only gets minimal student loan and it does not even cover accommodation. However, we asked to pay by 8 DD instalments instead of beginning of each term, so that gives us a bit a breathing space until November to increase income, and we won't have to fork out close to £1000 all in one go. She cried and that made me cry despite me trying to stay positive (for me and for them). Tried to explain to her that there will be loads of other students in same boat with no money. The disadvantage of have been independent education is that so many of her friends are getting such a big allowance, some haven't even applied for student loans. Have explained to her that that will not be the "norm" at uni.


She couldn't sleep again for worry. Have said to her will buy her a Fresher's week pass for £60 so that she doesn't have to buy individual tickets for events in her first week.


Need to start using ebay/gumtree for selling toys/books and excess stuff lying around cluttering cupboards. Extra task for today - take photos for at least 10 items.


Feeling sad.

Just want to reassure you, your daughter will be fine. Even if you had all the money to give her, she's facing the unknown and that can make things a little hard. It's just harder because you are sat on the other side of the unknown, so anything which you can worry about, you will. There is always something to worry about in these situations, and it's almost always fine.

I set off for university with a grand that I'd saved on my year out. Promptly went through it in my first term....

Working part time is pretty much the norm these days. And unless she's doing a contact heavy course, first year of Uni isn't that demanding in terms of fixed hours. University careers services and job shops are useful in terms of picking up work in a town you don't know. She could well find work quickly.

brizzledfw

Good progress NOA...well done on keeping chirpy...

Try and get a BM from Freecycle (people often don't use them and are happy to give away) or off a mate first...keep those vouchers if you can

Oil..aagh. We don't use it, my sister does - they now have clubbed together as a village and also buy in summer to get bulk cost discount. Can you do that?

Understand about the private school thang..but every school is different and hopefully in the 7 (?) years since your daughter's horrible experience that school have learnt a thing or two also. Blooming hope so. If this debt rips your family apart /completely stresses you out it may be worth keeping under review..

Have a good eve

NoOneAround

Thanks Hohum and Brizzledfw for all your suggestions and comments, all helping enormously to keep focussed:) and positive.


Back hurting today so didn't jog but brisk-walked around garden doing 3000 steps (yes I counted....form of meditation!) after school run/before dinner ......it took about 15min ......Can't find smiley with halo to add here....... so will paste :T instead.


Difficult to believe its nearly 30 years since I was at University but feels like yesterday. I had some grant awarded and I also did a sandwich course with 2 x 6 month placements in industry where I earned over £100 per week gross (rent was £15 a week .......spent £15/wk on food, £15 on travel/entertainment and saved £15 min every week!!!! So I always had enough saved for next six months. It was only in the final year I ran short so got a small job waitressing and went home with just a £100 overdraft. My how times have changed. Good to hear of some more recent experience Hohum.


BM from freecycle is a really good idea - hadn't thought of that!!! Thanks you Brizzledfw:beer:


There is an oil syndicate in our village which we used to use, however we stopped because of having to pay on delivery (full tank is about £700) usually by credit card and then we couldn't always pay off in full so interest added. This is why we stick with same local company on the direct debit scheme which means we get a small discount but can spread the cost evenly over the year. Each delivery ends up being about £5-10 more expensive depending on amount ordered. I do get tank topped up in summer but it doesn't last through to Christmas so usually have to have a top up before parents arrive for Christmas! Husband says if cost wasn't' prohibitive geothermal heat extraction is the way to go.....


Re schools, will keep reviewing situation (no choice but to!) but it will be a last resort should all else fail. All other sacrifices are willingly made (holidays, eating out, new cars, gardener (now go for the natural look;)) cleaner (now go for the lived in look ) flat screen smart tv (we have a huge monstrosity which no-one can lift but it works perfectly and "if it ain't broke don't fix it" is my motto though hubby doesn't think so).


Iron shirt for son then off to bed now, Looking back through posts I think I need to apologise for how many typos I have made!!

NoOneAround

Oh... forgot to add that I started a gratitude page in my dream book, to list all the things I am thankful for so that I can focus on my glass being half full rather than half empty :T
it's amazing how quickly the page is filling up.

NoOneAround

Just a warning to forum take care where you get debt advice from.
At the beginning of the year when I first started thinking about getting debt help, I searched and PayPlan came up high on all searches. I did make a general anonymous call to a debt charity, and adviser gave some general suggestions and at some point mentioned DMPs and the name PayPlan.

After a few weeks of pondering I called PayPlan and they were very sympathetic and very helpful. They looked at my situation and said that because we have significant equity in the house there was no need to go into a DMP as it would affect our credit record , so we would find it difficult to remortgage when our fixed deal ended. Because of our excellent credit rating they got their financial services to source a secured loan for us as a short term (2-3 year) solution at a cost of ~2K, which would be added to the loan so no upfront payment.


They also got different departments to look at my house insurance, life insurance policies. The house insurance, from one of the companies they work with that provide services for sourcing cheap deals for PayPlan clients, came back at half the price I was paying so I was really impressed and they sent out details. I then just happened to check on a comparison site and found I could get that deal anyway (we had been burgled 5 years earlier and were unable to reduce cost of policies), so I felt a bit stupid.


We went along with the secured loan after much agonising, all the paperwork was sent out, we only had to sign and return. At first I was relieved that we were making progress, but as days went by I panicked more and more ....I kept reading info on sites over and over and all seemed to say secured loans are the worst due to high risk of losing your house if payments not met. I thought of all the things that could happen (accidents, ill health, redundancy, etc etc) which leading to further loss of income.


We signed the papers for the secured loan but I did not post them. In the meantime I was getting at least one call every day from different departments/companies linked to PayPlan, offering to look at different things to reduce costs. It all felt like sales calls and I found myself ignoring calls and letting phones go to voicemail in order to screen. It felt like being pressured.


After a sleepless week I called StepChnge and poured my heart out. Their first bit of advice was to rip up the secured loan - they said it was absolutely the worst thing to do. We redid a budget and they sent me letters to send to creditors etc etc. I took some of their advice and wrote to some of them but not all....putting off the inevitable until I started this diary. So I have put this here because SC said that whilst PayPlan are a reputable company, they are a profitmaking company. JUST USE CAUTION. I dread to think what might have happened had we gone ahead with the secured loan for 75K..................

chevalier

Hi there thanks for the SOA. You might want to have a look at this template here http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

It will give you a fuller picture of what things to take into account. But I have mentioned a few things below.

NoOneAround wrote: »

Here goes as I brace myself


Mortgage = 1299.....fixed till next year Can you take a payment holiday?
C Tax= 156 Have you asked to spread the payments over 12 months instead of 10?
Electricity=80........reviewed 4 months ago need to check again Have you got saver bulbs in all rooms. And turn things like chargers off at the wall when not in use?
Water=22
Oil=185 for hotwater/heating -we are really carefully with heating Ouch I feel your pain. I doubt you can get this cheaper. But is your house insulated correctly also. I good thick curtains at windows, sausage dogs at outer doors to keep out draughts. There are a couple of preparing for winter threads on here (probably the money saving old style forum), which might give you some ideas.
Calor Gas=7
House Insurance=36 (managed to slash in half!)
TV=13
Landline/internet=45 required for business Do you get some bonus for being a business, as this seems very high. Also if it is a business expense why is it on your personal expenditure?
Mobiles x3 =44 (daughter going to uni therefore needs one too) You daughter needs to pick up the tab for her phone now. Apart from anything else it helps to build up HER credit record.
Life insurance=230 (need to look into this as policies from several years ago) Ouch, the last time I saw life insurance that high, it was for someone who had quite serious health issues. You also mentioned elsewhere that you had income protection policies. Please check that they would pay out for YOU, as most DON'T if you are self employed. You may even have been miss sold the policy and can claim.
Road Tax=40
Car Insurance=76 (couldn't get cheaper)
Diesel=380 (high as two cars, OH needs for work, live in rural area, no buses) Again living rural as I did I hear you. But the trick is to make sure you combine journeys so that you use that fuel most efficiently. So if you OH is going past the shops, it is silly for you to make the extra journey for example.
Servicing/breakdown cover=112
DenPlan=56
Contact lens/glasses=27 (all4 of us where glasses) You mentioned that daughter had had to pay for hers because she is now 18, however I thought (could be wrong) that if continuing in education she shouldn't pay still?
Groceries/homestuff=300 (reduced from 500+)
drycleaning=4
School fees=1345
Clthing/shoes=18
Business software=80 Is this paying for itself?
business website=30 Same here.
national insurance=24
token payment towards debt= 30 as advised by stepchange
Total outgoings = 4639
Total income as at today = 4200 (employment 3000, self-employment varies each month) What can you do to drum up more trade? Is there a business forum you could join to make more contacts? Have you traweled through previous clients to see if they have more work?
currently no rental income - this is what has made up the difference over the past 3-4 years Do you have to only take students from one place? Or is there more than one college/school/university that you could take students from. What about a Mon- Fri lodger?


Need to fund monthly shortfall urgently.
2 new clients confirmed work today (£2500 before tax)..wont get this probably till end Sept

good luck with working through all this. And speak to the bursar asap. And check whether your daughter is entitled to a bursary from the university.

Interesting what you say about Payplan, that is the first I have heard about them suggesting secured loans like that. Maybe there business model has changed. But good on you for thinking it through
chev

brizzledfw

Good advice Chev and thanks NOA for posting about PayPlan.

If FC doesn't come up with a BM then ask for one for Xmas from rellies or friends clubbing together?

NoOneAround

Mortgage = 1299.....fixed till next year Can you take a payment holiday? Asked last year but building soc said it would affect credit rating so we never have, especially now as we will find it hard to move to different provider?

C Tax= 156 Have you asked to spread the payments over 12 months instead of 10? Actually didn't know that you could but this number is as if we were paying in 12 months (actual figure per 10months is 185 I think)
Electricity=80........reviewed 4 months ago need to check again Have you got saver bulbs in all rooms. And turn things like chargers off at the wall when not in use? Switch off everything - nothing on standby - not all bulbs are savers yet but every time we replace we replace with saver
Water=22
Oil=185 for hotwater/heating -we are really carefully with heating Ouch I feel your pain. I doubt you can get this cheaper. But is your house insulated correctly also. I good thick curtains at windows, sausage dogs at outer doors to keep out draughts. There are a couple of preparing for winter threads on here (probably the money saving old style forum), which might give you some ideas. We have draught excluders and curtains etc - the kitchen utility room floors are concrete with no underfloor heating and I think they lose a lot of heat. Have double glazing (replaced original beautiful and useless metal windows with curly handles - cried!), loft insulated but I guess we could always add more. New part of house really well insulated - old part has solid 13 thick walls so no cavity insulation.
Calor Gas=7
House Insurance=36 (managed to slash in half!)
TV=13
Landline/internet=45 required for business Do you get some bonus for being a business, as this seems very high. Also if it is a business expense why is it on your personal expenditure?
Mobiles x3 =44 (daughter going to uni therefore needs one too) You daughter needs to pick up the tab for her phone now. Apart from anything else it helps to build up HER credit record. This will be transferred to her account when she moves/gets job
Life insurance=230 (need to look into this as policies from several years ago) Ouch, the last time I saw life insurance that high, it was for someone who had quite serious health issues. You also mentioned elsewhere that you had income protection policies. Please check that they would pay out for YOU, as most DON'T if you are self employed. You may even have been miss sold the policy and can claim. It is for two people Will be looking at this at weekend definitely
Road Tax=40
Car Insurance=76 (couldn't get cheaper)
Diesel=380 (high as two cars, OH needs for work, live in rural area, no buses) Again living rural as I did I hear you. But the trick is to make sure you combine journeys so that you use that fuel most efficiently. So if you OH is going past the shops, it is silly for you to make the extra journey for example. I do all the shopping in Tesco which is on route of school run, Hubby picks up extras eg bread milk on his way home (again, en route) when necessary. I save up errands and always do in batches.
Servicing/breakdown cover=112
DenPlan=56
Contact lens/glasses=27 (all4 of us where or even WEAR glasses) You mentioned that daughter had had to pay for hers because she is now 18, however I thought (could be wrong) that if continuing in education she shouldn't pay still? She got a voucher of £58 towards cost so glasses only cost £10 but Her prescription is so high that I have always paid for thinner lens - this is an "Extra" and not included in NHS scheme - this will become her own cost when she gets her part time job at uni
Groceries/homestuff=300 (reduced from 500+)
drycleaning=4
School fees=1345
Clthing/shoes=18
Business software=80 Is this paying for itself? No, not in self employment but hubby's employer has started paying this so that he can use it for their work - so we invoice them for tech services. So in effect it only cost us IR tax we have to pay on the invoiced "income" - if that makes sense. No point in cancelling as we forked out 2.5K 12 years ago, this covers all updates etc.
business website=30 Same here. It only takes on job to pay for itself (800-1000 is normal - we usually get that so 1 job pays for 2 years.
national insurance=24
token payment towards debt= 30 as advised by stepchange
Total outgoings = 4639
Total income as at today = 4200 (employment 3000, self-employment varies each month) What can you do to drum up more trade? Is there a business forum you could join to make more contacts? Have you traweled through previous clients to see if they have more work? Most of the work is through referrals - networking more difficult now that husband gone back to full time, as breakfast meetings often at times I have to do school run etc
currently no rental income - this is what has made up the difference over the past 3-4 years Do you have to only take students from one place? Or is there more than one college/school/university that you could take students from. What about a Mon- Fri lodger? Am exploring this further - MON-FRI really good idea thank you. Students have been through two different guardianship organisations usually international students. Some also suggested AirBNB which I need to look into..........


Need to fund monthly shortfall urgently.
2 new clients confirmed work today (£2500 before tax)..wont get this probably till end Sept

NoOneAround

Thank you Brizzledfw will look for BM - today "discovered" loads of local facebook selling pages too so fingers crossed will find one . As you say if no luck then it's a great suggestion for a pressie - for several years now we do actually ask each other for wishlists for birthdays (mine is before Christmas:))
x