Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK

NoOneAround

Bobarella wrote: »

Hi NOA
Sorry to hear you've been down..and that you aren't sleeping. What is causing it do you think?

Bob

Hi Bob,
Thanks for popping by. You're DD must be smiling away by now:)

Sleep has been a long term issue - am a born worrier. Started off when my mum had BC and dads health started to deteriorate, this was followed by the debt problems building up with recession and being self employed. Got a handle on that and parent health issues getting worse again etc etc etc. All the usual stuff doesn't work, herbal remedies, routines, drinks, temp, exercise, getting up.... Basically it's stress/anxiety. It doesn't feel as bad as it used to when you lie awake with heart racing on high alert (contacting SC and finding these diaries helped that part of it). Its probably habit now too as it has gone on so long - Should really go to the Drs again but last time was just offered antidepressants which I didn't want to take.

x
NOA

NoOneAround

List for today

1) Volunteer work admin catch up
2) Kitchen clear up and mop floor.
3) Tax forms for DH possible overpaid NI when he changed jobs
4) Clear dining table (piled with junk mail)
5) Pay in cheque for DD tax refund into her account
6) Sort out own clothes for 3 weeks of work so I'm not scrabbling around in the mornings.
7) Grocery shopping and start meal plan/make meals for next 10 days as most evenings taken up with DS school stuff (music concert in big venue tomorrow night, rugby again at weekend, music rehearsal Monday night, informal school concert Tuesday night (WHY?:mad:) followed by parents evening, playing in shopping centre for late shopping night on Wednesday, then for Charity Fair on week Friday :eek:)
8) Scream or Meditate/practise mindfulness depending on how it all goes.

Have a happy day everyone:)
Bye for now,
NOA
xx

hiddenshadow

Good luck with that list, NOA! Sounds like a busy stretch ahead.

My sympathies on the sleep thing - I suffer from sporadic insomnia (likely due to stress/anxiety even though I don't have (m)any outside stressors!) and headaches and being sleep-deprived really doesn't help any of it.

Puzzcat

Hi Noah,

Sorry to hear you are suffering with sleep deprivation.. never good and as a Puzz I know how much we need our sleep... hope this gets sorted soon.

Your to do list sounds like a challenge, and looks like the Noah taxi will be busy running DS around for all the pre Christmas activities...

Hope you get your house sorted ready for a lovely Christmas with the family :xmastree:.... a month today... :eek: Assume dd is coming home for the holidays?

Keep smiling and get some r & r when you can.

Love Puzz. x

NoOneAround

Thanks for the Christmas tree Puzz:)
Next 10 days or so is going to be a nightmare logistically - feel sorry for DS too its pretty full on at the moment. Should be a bit quieter next term - he plays sax and is in various bands at school and it really is concert season in a big way.

DD is home for holidays - which will be lovely. Hope she doesn't spend the whole time glued to her phone talking to boy friend. Bit cross (thogh its none of my business) she's being really "wife-y" and doesn't seem to go out much. Obviously happiness is paramount and if that's what she wants that's great, but can't help feeling a bit ... I don't know really ...disappointed? seems too strong a word. Uneasy, perhaps. Is that normal for a mum? Her first relationship I guess.

Didn't get my list finished yesterday - grocery shop to do and clothes to sort today.

DH leaves his work tomorrow and the norm is that the leaver buys farewell drinks at lunch time. Could be £60-100 depending on how many people turn up :eek:
Moneys really tight at the moment. And DS next history trip for next year already being planned - had to right a £30 cheque as deposit to secure a place (will be total of £400 ish). :eek:

Haven't got my head round DH income changes yet, theoretically he should be paying less tax as car value will be less, but may need to put it all into pension otherwise will be paying tax @40% and losing CB for DS. Trouble is he still gets stressed out by it all and doesn't do those sorts of things himself. Maybe once he starts on Monday he'll have a clearer idea.

Off to wash my hair, so it can be drying while I go onto sorting out clothes (which will als0 help tidy one of the bedrooms -

NOA
xx

NoOneAround

hiddenshadow wrote: »

Good luck with that list, NOA! Sounds like a busy stretch ahead.

My sympathies on the sleep thing - I suffer from sporadic insomnia (likely due to stress/anxiety even though I don't have (m)any outside stressors!) and headaches and being sleep-deprived really doesn't help any of it.

Its like a vicious circle Hiddenshadow, isn't it? I live with a constant headache that doesn't respond to anything, one sided, achy jaw from bruxism which also results in constant neck pain. Physio helps but doesn't eliminate. Nothing that a few months on all expenses paid holiday in the Caribbean wouldn't cure though :rotfl: and its nothing compare to what some people have to live with, so I can't complain!

Sometimes when I'm tired I get so caught up in the little stuff I lose sight of everything I have to be grateful for... like the last few days there have been some beautiful skies and this morning's combination of pink sunrise and rolling mist was breathtaking.

Ok, break over, back to tedious tidying and chores and domesticity, which bores me to tears but I am very grateful that I am physically capable of doing them.

xx
NOAh

Bobarella

Hi NOA

So sorry to read all of that. I sounds horrible to feel that way. Lack of sleep is rotten too. I do hope you will last out until the xmas break. And your son too.

Thank for asking yes DD is smiling now quite a bit. She also plays with her hands now too. And makes cooing & ooo sounds. So sweet.

Hugs to you.

Bob

NoOneAround

Bobarella wrote: »

Hi NOA

So sorry to read all of that. I sounds horrible to feel that way. Lack of sleep is rotten too. I do hope you will last out until the xmas break. And your son too.

Thank for asking yes DD is smiling now quite a bit. She also plays with her hands now too. And makes cooing & ooo sounds. So sweet.

Hugs to you.

Bob

I'm still standing Bob
have today and tomorrow off then working right through.
Haven't had a minute to spare but school stuff is all over and DS finishes on Friday - He's done amazingly well with late nights /big events every day for 10 days. Haven't had a moment to myself. Today is about catching up with home and work admin. None of the se jobs came to fruition but 3 accepted to start over Xmas so payments for those will come in Jan early Feb hopefully.

No decisions made regarding Christmas yet. DD coming home on Saturday so can get started on tree/decs at the weekend.

Had a rough weekend with DH doing his usual, didn't speak for 3 days, but on neutral ground again now. a rocky road ahead, trying to dig deep for some tolerance. Think he must be going through his men - o pause where emotional brain just stops working:rotfl:
am about to start painting as am bored of everything else :rotfl:


Hope all well in MSE land. I'm sure I'll get back into it when I don't feel so inundated with .......boredom and routine?

Craving some brightness and sunshine.

XXXXXXXX
NOA

brizzledfw

Hows it going NOA?

Hope with DS around things are slightly easier..perhaps some help in the house I really push my two about that when the clubs stop and school work slows a little.

Solstice just around the corner..just hold on for another 10 days or so

x

Igamogam

Hi NOA

How are things?