Jealousy of Motability car

N9eav

kingfisherblue wrote: »

Those who cheat the system give everyone a bad name, but there are hidden disabilities, and there are people who have good days and bad days.


My son has Down's Syndrome and numerous medical problems. He has a Mobility car, yet he can walk. However, he was awarded HRM because he cannot walk without pain and breathlessness. Others can't see the pain that he feels due to his hypermobile joints. They don't see his exhaustion, although they can hear his ragged breathing if he walks too far. They do see his wheelchair, but I have been asked why he needs it if he can walk.


Now, I am lucky because at least my son has a visible disability and people do tend to be more accepting. I have friends whose children look 'normal', but who have mobility problems that are not immediately obvious. In fact, their disabilities are not visible, until you speak to them, see them have a meltdown, or watch the odd way in which they walk.


So yes, there are people out there who are jealous of you getting a 'free' car, just as there are people with Motability cars who do not appear to need one. For those who are envious (and after all, that is what this thread is about), few would want to accept the disabilities that lead to the award of HRM. Fewer still would want their child to have those disabilities.

:T bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

Winjackie

kingfisherblue wrote: »

Those who cheat the system give everyone a bad name, but there are hidden disabilities, and there are people who have good days and bad days.


My son has Down's Syndrome and numerous medical problems. He has a Mobility car, yet he can walk. However, he was awarded HRM because he cannot walk without pain and breathlessness. Others can't see the pain that he feels due to his hypermobile joints. They don't see his exhaustion, although they can hear his ragged breathing if he walks too far. They do see his wheelchair, but I have been asked why he needs it if he can walk.


Now, I am lucky because at least my son has a visible disability and people do tend to be more accepting. I have friends whose children look 'normal', but who have mobility problems that are not immediately obvious. In fact, their disabilities are not visible, until you speak to them, see them have a meltdown, or watch the odd way in which they walk.


So yes, there are people out there who are jealous of you getting a 'free' car, just as there are people with Motability cars who do not appear to need one. For those who are envious (and after all, that is what this thread is about), few would want to accept the disabilities that lead to the award of HRM. Fewer still would want their child to have those disabilities.

Very well said :T

My young daughter has multiple disabilities, although as you state, most are invisible. I would give up everything for her not to have them.

Indie_Kid

kingfisherblue wrote: »

They do see his wheelchair, but I have been asked why he needs it if he can walk.

I have a friend whose son has Downs Syndrome and uses a wheelchair. One of his friends did ask why, if he can walk, does he need a wheelchair. My limited understanding is, that like your son, he can walk a little. His friend appeared to be rather rude about it.:mad: I do remember talking to my friend a few years ago where he said that no-one knows if his son will ever walk.

Oli.s

I have seen both sides of the fence so to speak. I have a relative who has a motability car through a genuine need, but also used to work with a guy who's grandfather qualified for one so this guy somehow got himself out on the insurance by saying he had to drive his grandad around (which he did only around twice a month by his own admission) but used the car which was a flashy BMW as his own every day.

mrsp89

Unfortunately I do think its the ones that cheat the system that give everyone else a bad name ... i know one man who does have a mobility car, and I agree he needs it - the problem is he cant drive so his 'friend' is on the insurance so that he can drive him around - problem is he only drives him around about once a week - the rest of the time he is driving around in a brand new VW for nothing!

Mojisola

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Yes, I know some people who were envious when our disabled son was awarded HRM DLA and we opted to take that as a brand new Motability car.

They soon felt guilty and went quiet when I responded by saying that we'd happily give it up if only our son didn't have his disabilities.

Apart from telling them the above, perhaps they don't realise that you get the car instead of cash. I know people who thought that, if you got certain benefits, that you were entitled to a car as well.

duchy

I'd be glad that I found out what these supposed "friends" were like and not waste any time with them or worrying about what they thought.

mrs_sparrow

Some people will be jealous and moan about anything.

How many of these 'friends' have ever offered to have your wife stay over for the weekend with them to give you a break? I bet I can guess!!!

PS. We are in a Housing Association house and was going to take down an internal wall ourselves to give us more space by utilising an unused room - however, my friend told me that we could get a grant to do it - so we applied and it was approved and the job will be started soon. The money we was paying for the wall we are going on holiday with instead. Some people are pleased for us..... some, well......

We do not go out, spend money on clothes, eating out, drinking or ciggies like they do and have found that US cruise companies are completely inclusive and will take our son in the kids club and this gives us a break we can only dream of in the UK - so we are going on another. On top of this we get our respite time authorised as special circumstances when it is quieter and cooler. Watch this space..... I have actually decided to unfriend some 'friends' on Facebook so they do not find out we are going away 'again'.... LOL

citykid5

This may sound a little controversial , and I really haven't given it much thought . But aren't people who get the war widows pension also entitled to a so called free car? Dispute having no disabilities to speake off. It's funny how this entitlement is never publised ? But then again it would be so wrong to have a go at our brave boys who invaded another country for our politicians.

Indie_Kid

citykid5 wrote: »

This may sound a little controversial , and I really haven't given it much thought . But aren't people who get the war widows pension also entitled to a so called free car? Dispute having no disabilities to speake off. It's funny how this entitlement is never publised ? But then again it would be so wrong to have a go at our brave boys who invaded another country for our politicians.

Nope. You have to be on DLA higher mobility, PIP enhanced mobility or the war pensions mobility to get the car.