I need help, he's refusing to pay for anything

Cherryjack

Good Morning,

I hope you can help because I feel absolutely stuck in my situation. A brief overview ive been seperated from my ex for 7 months and we own a property and have 2 children. I paid 21,000 for the deposit and the house has made no money. One of my children aged 8 is disabled and i would like to stay in the property , I also have a 2 year old. Ive been to the solicitors and they have given my ex two options.. he can stay on the Mortgage until the children are 18 and then we split some money when the house has equity (he ignored the papers) the next set went out giving him 18 days to leave the house before a court order is applied for, he has been verbally abusive daily, upsetting the children and making threats to me (now so bad logged with the police with recorded evidence) The letter also stated he could sign the house over to me as the house has made no money its in negative equity.
He now says he refuses to do either and in the mean time wont pay me a penny for anything...nothing towards all the bills, food or to the children

Help I dont know what to do, i work full time and while he lives in the house i cant apply for any working tax credits to help me or child matinence. I dont know what to do and I dont want to miss my bills :( Thank you for any wise words

BitterAndTwisted

Contact Womens Aid. They will give you advice on how to get him out of the house since you have it logged with the police that he's been abusive.

Getting him out of the house will not ensure that he contributes child-support payments so you can afford the bills for the house. You might need to apply via CSA to have this enforced. With two children he will be expected to pay 20% of his salary. Womens Aid can advise about this as well.

You can phone them on: 0808 2000 247

BigAunty

I second the previous advice - Womens Aid and CSA are the way to go,with support from the Police. The Shelter website has a relationship breakdown section that details your rights and his obligations with regard to accommodation, and also info on domestic abuse.

Your solictor should be looking into you gaining an occupation order that obliges him to leave the property and gives you protection to live there until your youngest turns 18. The court awards this - I'm surprised your solicitor hasn't initiated this.

Ask on the Benefit forum about the likelihood of your gaining benefits while he still occupies the property or not. Again, Womens Aid can provide advice on all aspects of your situation - your safety, benefits, legal.

Bluemeanie_2

Are you married? Makes a huge difference to the advice.

Cherryjack

Thank you so much for all your advice im going to give them a call. Ive never heared of them before. I contacted my solicitor again hes going to put me in touch with a solicitor who may be able to help with legal aid as i am on low wages.
Im not married thankfully, I will continue to read your messages. Appreciating all our help , I will update

HappyMJ

Cherryjack wrote: »

Good Morning,

I hope you can help because I feel absolutely stuck in my situation. A brief overview ive been seperated from my ex for 7 months and we own a property and have 2 children. I paid 21,000 for the deposit and the house has made no money. One of my children aged 8 is disabled and i would like to stay in the property , I also have a 2 year old. Ive been to the solicitors and they have given my ex two options.. he can stay on the Mortgage until the children are 18 and then we split some money when the house has equity (he ignored the papers) the next set went out giving him 18 days to leave the house before a court order is applied for, he has been verbally abusive daily, upsetting the children and making threats to me (now so bad logged with the police with recorded evidence) The letter also stated he could sign the house over to me as the house has made no money its in negative equity.
He now says he refuses to do either and in the mean time wont pay me a penny for anything...nothing towards all the bills, food or to the children

Help I dont know what to do, i work full time and while he lives in the house i cant apply for any working tax credits to help me or child matinence. I dont know what to do and I dont want to miss my bills :( Thank you for any wise words

You can apply for tax credits as a single person. As long as you are living separate lives...different rooms and never eating together but it OK to sometimes eat together as a family with the children just not the two of you only then you can show you are not together. If you've separated your finances you can also show you aren't a couple any more. It's hard to prove but it can be done.

If he's refusing to financially help then you can apply for child support even whilst he's living in the same house so that at least some of his income will be diverted to you. Although it'll be much easier with his help and assistance but that doesn't look likely.

Cherryjack

Thank you happy MJ I had no idea, i have the forms ready, I will get them filled in and can provide solicitor letters as proof. This will really help me as i dont want to start getting into debt with having the two children to provide for. Im so glad I wrote now as I didnt know this

sparrer

If he's making life intolerable for you and the children, and difficult financially, you can apply for an injunction against him coming near the property. Certainly, as has been said, apply for tax credits, and please call Women's Aid for advice, they're very supportive and understanding and will explain your rights to you in easy to understand terms (not legal jargon). Good luck, I hope this is over for you asap

Cherryjack

Thank you Sparrer for your advice..im feeling positive for tommorow. Hes at work in the day and im on hols from work until next wednesday so have a little bit of time to sort some bits. Just want a happy peaceful enviroment for the children.. these boards will help me to save im sure.

C_Mababejive

Was the 21k deposit by you registered and recorded in your interest when the house was bought ?

It is possible to apply to the courts for an order for him to leave the premises if there is sufficient evidence that his presence is a threat to you/the children. If he doesnt respond or opposes the order then it could be a lengthy process since even though the relationship has broken down, he still has a legal right to occupy the property in which he has an interest.

Dont forget, he has a right to a home too..

silvercar

Is someone still paying the mortgage?