I am such an idiot! When will I learn?

in_need_of_direction

Can't you have a child related commitment and skip the meal? Also, re your second daughter, by her being at home, you lose out on the single person council tax discount so maybe you need to explain that in reality her contribution at present is £100 less that. For the leaving do, list freezer contents and visit old style board. I'm sure there will be heaps of inspiration plus have a list ready for when people ask if there's something they can bring. As for your ex, why not let CSa decide the amounts due?

judi24

Yes I might suggest I meet the girls later for a drink rather than the lunch - lunch will be a set price I think.
I will do a list for my leaving do and ask people to bring specific things so will try to keep costs down.
My daughter is going on holiday on Tuesday - but will be having a frank conversation with her when she gets back - I might explain that the household bills (not including the mortgage or my debt) comes to around £800 a month so her share would be £200 - but as she helps with childcare I will reduce this to £150.


Off to have alook as CSA website! But not sure whether I will get anything as I earn more than my ex.


Took DD2 to work this morning - needed to get DD3 school shoes at outlet - got Cla*ks shoes for £24. I feel they are worth it as the cheap ones last about 5 mins!!!


but that leaves me £266 for the month!

Kimberley

judi24 wrote: »

Off to have alook as CSA website! But not sure whether I will get anything as I earn more than my ex.

It does not matter how much you earn, they go by his wages and he won't be able to give them excuses.

SOMam

judi24 wrote: »

Off to have alook as CSA website! But not sure whether I will get anything as I earn more than my ex.

Just to add, CSA rules have changed.

They now charge your ex to take the money from him and then charge you to give it to you.

This is to basically encourage parents to sort it between themselves so the CSA is basically a last ditch effort.

I wouldn't go via the CSA unless you really have exhausted every other way.

You could try Child Maintenance Options at http://www.cmoptions.org/

Whatever you decide to do good luck and I wish you and your children all the best

Mam x

Almost-free

What I have occasionally done when I was broke and have had to attend a birthday meal out is to say I am only going to have dessert. They tend to be the cheapest part of the meal! I eat before going out,I then have a drink or two ,enjoy the chat and join in when everyone has dessert.

judi24

Looked at CSA calculator and although I am not exectly sure what my ex earns it looks like he should still be paying something!!! I am meeting him tomorrow to discuss shared care for our DS - he wants to live with both of us - so I have suggested we look at some sort of shared care - once I get a better idea of how much time he will be with me and how much he will be at his dads i will braoch the sunject of child support - but I know it will go down like a lead balloon and might end up in a massive fight - I might end up having to pay the fees to have the money taken from his wages! I won't be pretty as I know he will paly the 'you earn more' card!


On a more positive note - I have not spent anything today! Made a lovely roast chicken dinner followed by chocolate brownies made from stuff I had in the cupboards and I am now making soup from the carcas!


Planning a home made low cost Christmas thanks to ideas and inspiration from the OS board on here and I have joined the grocery challenge.


But totally forgot my car insurance is due to be renewed on the 15th - managed to get a quote for £197 including cashback but not sure whether to pay it outright (using OD) or pay in installments costing and extra £60 over the year!!!

[Deleted User]

If he is spending equal time with both of you (eg. one week with his father, then one week with you), then neither party should be paying child support to the other.

ViolaLass

Do you really need to spend £50 on a phone for your daughter? I'm sure you could get a perfectly good one for far less on eBay.

[Deleted User]

I agree with ViolaLass. £50 for a mobile is madness.

You could get a simple one for around a tenner.

This is the one I have, and it works fine

Pop in a Virgin SIM, on Big Talk, and, for £10pm, she can have unlimited landline calls, 120 minutes of mobile to mobile calls, and her £10 topup too.

If she wants texts, she can have 3000pm for an extra £5.

ETA: Just discovered you can have that phone for 99p, when you by a £20 topup.

Lungboy

Bedsit_Bob wrote: »

If he is spending equal time with both of you (eg. one week with his father, then one week with you), then neither party should be paying child support to the other.

True, but he should still be paying half of any expenses for the child, like school clothes/shoes etc. if the OP is currently paying for all of that stuff, as it sounds is the case.