I am such an idiot! When will I learn?

judi24

Reading through some of the posts on here about budgeting and I aknow that I have nothing built in to my budget for any big bills and don't have an emergency fund with my plan to pay 1k off my debt per month -
My CC debt is now at £11405 so if i paid 1k off it it will be gone in around 12 months (havent accounted for intrest but working on the assumption that I will be able to get some of it onto 0% after Christmas). After Christmas shen I can get rid of a few bits (second phone contract for ipad and reduced fuel costs) my household bills will be £1350 plus the loan payment of £246 a month leaving me with just over £600 a month for everything else


I am wondering if that is achievable for a year? or should I take things a little slower with a bit of slack in my budget for unexpected bills and expenses?


I could try again to get some child support from my ex - but I really don't want to rock the boat as things seem to be settling nicely with DS and the shared care arrangement and I know if I even mentioned money he would start being difficult again! I also have a DLA claim in for DS but not factoring that into any calculations as a) i don't know if i will get it and b) not sure if it should just be put in the household money pot or should be used for something to make life with my DS better/easier?


Basically - am i setting myself up for a fall trying to pay £1000 a month? I could aim for 18 months and pay around £650 giving ma a little more slack in my budget for unexpected bills/expenses

judi24

Binky - I work full time too and know how easy it is to look for quick and easy foods instead of cooking from scracth! I try to save potions of meals (even 1 potion per meal) and stick it in the freeer for evenings where I am too rushed or tired to cook from scratch. (it can be a bit of a lottery as I am not good at labeling!!) I make lots of soup that I use for lunches in work and DD3 likes pasta salad so I make a batch of that up on a sunday and she takes it to school for a few days instead of sandwiches. My kids do like to snack and are always looking for something - trying to buy less snack stuff to force them into eating fruit - but again thats not always a cheap alternative!


I do buy alcohol too- I usually buy 2 bottles of wine per week with my food shop (didn't this week as I got lots of wine as leaving presents - my staff know me so well!) but my down fall was the trips to the local shop mid week and 'treating' myself to a midweek bottle of wine - I have knocked this on the head completely as a) its not good for me and b) I can't afford it and need to learn restraint!!!


I think orgaisation and planning is key - but not always easy when you work full time and manage a house (cleaning cooking washing gardening etc) - but idea on here are great - the OS board is inspiring!!!

When_the_going_gets_tough

Just a different perspective on the how much should adult children pay. We have always been generous in that area. We are lucky in that we can afford it. All our children have budgetted for themselves at uni and know the real cost of living and have learnt as they go along. We have always been very clear about how and when we would support them, but I do think that there is an argument for only charging the excess that they would cost you ie if you are a 2 parent family then council tax, heating bills, TV costs etc do not change depending on who is living in the house. The extra costs are food, water - if you are metered which we are not at the moment, and electricity. I think these are tough times for young people and emotional support and the feeling that they are not being pushed out into the world can help. I also think teaching budgetting, saving, and showing how you do things helps a great deal. Seeing parents saying we can't afford this but we can afford that on a regular basis sets a good example I think. Everyone knows their own children best and we need to tailor our approach to the sort of people they are. Grown up conversations do really help.

[Deleted User]

judi24 wrote: »

The initial ticket was an 'on the window' ticket from the council

I'm still not sure it was a proper parking ticket, given you said:-

I parked in a pay and display car park

Are you absolutely sure this is a Council Car Park, and not one owned/occupied by a private company, such as a supermarket, takeaway, etc. ?

[Deleted User]

When_the_going_gets_tough wrote: »

but I do think that there is an argument for only charging the excess that they would cost you

Trouble with that is, they will have no appreciation of how much it will actually cost, when they go to live by themselves.

The OP's second daughter, for instance, is paying £200 per month, but eventually, sher will have to get by alone.

That will come as an enormous shock, when she realises just how little £200 per month actually covers.

When_the_going_gets_tough

I do understand that BB , I suppose it helps if they have lived away from home at uni and had to budget. For that reason we would never offer to pay for food bills or part of the rent etc when at uni. Instead we gave them an allowance based on we could afford then all their bills were their own responsibility. This started from day 1. I did sit down and help them work out how to make their money last each term, and explained how it was different in the second year when there were monthly bills instead of termly bills, and checked that they knew how to make sure they were exempt from council tax and whether they had to pay water bills for example. As I say each family is different but giving our children tools information and support can help the transition. Invariably things sometimes can go wrong. The trouble is our children are all so different both in their needs and their receptivness to help and advice. Parenting - tricky business really!

judi24

I will go and have a look at the car park in the next couple of days - I am almost certain its a council one - but will double check - thanks for the advice Bedsit Bob


I really struggle with charging the kids (well only DD2 now) she is not interested in learning about how much it costs to run the house -she didn't argue at all though when i upped her keep from £100 to £200 and she really doesn't ask me for handouts mid month - if I do end up lending her money she always pays me back as soon as she gets paid. It is hard to get a balance between providing for them and wanting them to have a good life and teaching them life skills like budgeting - I am probably not very good at this!

judi24

On another note - went foraging today kids loved it and it cost me the price of an icecream! - got lots of blackberries and elderberries. I wanted to make blackberry brandy that Ampresand posted a link to earlier on this thread - but dont have any home brew type stuff to make it in! Any ideas how I could improvise with other household (or very cheap) items?

dktreesea

Binky100 wrote: »

Before anyone asks - I have been shopping in Lidols for the past 4 years:rotfl:

OMG, Lidls! We have a revamped Lidl supermarket near us that I only went into for the first time a couple of days ago. It was heaving. And no wonder. I went in for their sardines and came out £17 the poorer - the most expensive sardines ever. But they had such yummy looking offerings....:p And for really good prices.... Quite nice tasting digestive biscuits for 35p. Greek yoghurt... feta cheese that actually tastes like feta...

ampersand

judi - hasn't it been glorious for being out and foraging? So glad it went well and made everyone happy.

It's made for lovely reading. Thankyou:-)!!!

Keep your wine bottles I usually buy 2 bottles of wine per week with my food shop[/COLOR]']. Put the word out. Ask around for others.
Cheap/spare washing up bowl, broom handle or similar, net curtain/tulle/cheesecloth for any mush that needs straining. [Just scald, sterilise everything.] Tie it up like a crimbo pud and with more string, tie it to branch/ broomstick/ bit of timber/ batten across bath, with bowl/basin below to catch juice. Leave overnight.

I know BB was thinking of the 6-year rule re: pursuit of driver, but you won't be troubled by tackling it now. So, pepipoo for a Council ticket. I just don't see how #167 has anything to do with any known 'previous' from a Council.
If it is, the Parking Forum will appreciate knowing of it.
Otherwise, it's MSE - for any PPC scam/fake invoice.
Ignore the idiot threat language, bailiff's blether. It's designed to intimidate; much of it is illegal - what else would work?
Instead apply yourself to reading- tonight, Judi. You may be up against deadlines if you've ignored letters so far. But all is not lost.
NOW, WHAT DID WE SAY EARLIER? DON'T RING THEM. LOOK OUT YOUR BANK STATEMENTS. CHECK FOR SHOPPING/ RETAILERS relevant to the day/times.
Use the links I gave you in earlier #160.

I spend quite a bit of time on the Parking Threads judi - do some reading and start your own Thread. There, coupon-mad, Redx, HO87, bod, Umkomaas, hotbring, guys dad, deedee, daisy, bazster, bargepole and LOADS OF OTHER GOOD, EXPERT SOULS, put in many, many hours daily, helping people to defeat these unenforceable, speculative invoices.

Above all, DO NOT do this: 'My plan was to pay the original £75 and see what happens'. You will be opening a can of worms.

Good luck for the other changes that are starting in your life. Shiny new judi strides out, no turning back, looking back:-) You're doing well.