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My inner domestic goddess

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jojo1974
jojo1974 Posts: 50 Forumite
I've been Money Tipped!
edited 19 January 2016 at 5:56PM in Old style MoneySaving
I'm going to apologise in advance if I ramble, not that I think I do but my husband would disagree.

I hope you don't mind me giving you a brief outline of recent circumstance changes that should make my ineptitude at household management clearer.

About 12 months ago we lived near London. Just me and Mr JoJo. both had reasonably well paid jobs and lived day to day, never considering the future and spending what we earned.

However, my husband who is older than me (my gorgeous silver fox) was made redundant from his long standing job. Suddenly in 1 day we had to make decisions for the future.

After a lot of discussions, arguments and tears we came to the decision that this windfall was a blessing and we must use it wisely.

It wasn't enough to pay off our mortgage on our overpriced, oversized house so we decided to up sticks and go 'rural'.

We brought a house in Wales, a beautiful little 1930,s semi overlooking the beacons. However it needs a lot of TLC and slowly our little love nest is beginning to feel like our castle.

There is however a little fly in the ointment. Hopefully a small one that can be plucked away with you lovely MSE tweezers.

We traded in our executive car for a well loved old Land Rover, paid all our debts off and were cash buyers. We now live on a very small pension but it is just about adequate based on our outgoings. But the issue is me.

I have always been a career woman, not a home body. More through circumstance than choice and I want to embrace our new lifestyle and become that inner domestic goddess that I know exists.

But where do I start? I have never had to plan meals (meals brought daily from supermarket) I have never had a large garden crying out to be used. In fact I have never had to do anything other than work for someone else.

So today I want to start. Today I want to look at the blackberries in my garden and see them as a free gift rather than nuisance brambles.

I WILL be a domestic godess! Please help me.
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Comments

  • I just wanted to say that small steps is the best way to embrace your new lifestyle - it won't happen overnight but your new life and all its changes sounds really lovely to me.

    My husband and I were in a similar position, going from good jobs and decent incomes to learning to scale down. DH was simply too stressed in his job and became self employed - we had to tighten our belts considerably, then came our three children and I stopped work. Our lifestyle did change dramatically but it was all for the best and all very positive and I am sure it will be the same for you both too. Eight years ago I was an atrocious cook, I even struggled to slice cheese:rotfl: now I am a very good cook, run a household of five ( try to control our lovely dog) and we have a veg plot and everything. At times I feel like a completely different person from the one who would buy m&s ready meals on the way home from work and eat out at least twice a week. I would not swap any of it - but it did take time to get here, hence my advice of baby steps!!

    So even if today all you do is pick some of those blackberries and scoff them with shop bought.... :eek: ice-cream you'll be on your way because of that lovely free larder in your garden - bet it'll taste gorgeous!

    Muchos luck to you both in your new home.
    :idea: Thinking Thrifty.... :idea:
  • Hi Jojo, and welcome!
    Yum blackberries, have you a freezer? just put them on a tray, loose and freeze,then put into a container and they are easy to take out by the handful [instead of a large block!] to stew during winter.
    There is a weekly meal planning forum here also flylady to help you organise cleaning, if you dare!
    Just take baby steps and enjoy your castle. Goddessery is on it's way!!
    Caz
    Saving for another hound :j
    :staradmin from Sue-UU
    SPC no 031 SPC 9 £1211, SPC 8 £1027 SPC 7 £937.24, SPC 6 £973.4 SPC 5 £1949, SPC 4 £904.67 SPC 4 £980.27
  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 35,549 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    jojo1974 wrote: »
    Today I want to look at the blackberries in my garden and see them as a free gift rather than nuisance brambles.

    IME they are both and it is important to know when they are a free gift and when they are getting in the way of something even better. I have a freebie that has lovely fruit, is a thorny as hell and has 8 foot runners already and is very much the wrong place. It is going at the end of this year's harvest.

    With respect to gardening, talk to other people locally about what works for them. No point re-inventing the wheel. And although at this time of year the season is ending, in fact is is a really good time to be planning for next year because you have the dormant season to sort things out.

    And as you engage with the locals expect to come home and find a couple of pheasant over the door handle etc.
    If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing
  • lessonlearned
    lessonlearned Posts: 13,337 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    Congratulations on embracing your new lifestyle with such positivity. with such a can do attitude I think you will be just fine.

    Remember we are not born knowing how to cook we,ve all had to learn. It's all trial and error, same with the gardening, diy, crafting etc
    You just learn as you go.

    I'm guessing from your post that you and your lovely Silver Fox are both still under retirement age.

    Perhaps once you are settled into your new lives you could perhaps start a little business, both for extra income and also for your own personal growth. if you have always been a committed Career Woman you might enjoy the challenge of setting up for yourself.

    I've always had one or two Little sidelines on the go. I don't make a fortune but it keeps me amused and the extra income is always useful

    I'm now 63 and still like to dabble here and there with various money making schemes. you could either use some of your existing skills or if you fancy something completely different you could perhaps retrain or learn new skills.

    You are in a very strong position, debt and mortgage free. Any new enterprise can start small without a huge capital outlay. Have a look at the Boost Your Income board - lots of tips and ideas on there.

    Good luck with the garden. I agree use the winter to plan it, perhaps just start with a small veg patch and see how you go. A good tip for breaking up and improving soil which has not been cultivated for a while is to plant potatoes for the first year. They will break up the soil nicely. Herbs and salads can be grown very easily in pots, tomatoes in grow bags. Just take your time, you'll get there.

    I'm off to go a blackberrying..
  • jojo1974
    jojo1974 Posts: 50 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    Thank you all for your kind words of help.

    I have a very overgrown garden at the moment. We are planning on sorting it in the spring next year. For the time being we are leaving it to nature, who seems keen on blackberries 😉

    I have just announced to him in doors that I'm making Jam. His response, we don't eat jam, we don't like jam. My reply, yes but mum does and she has chickens!

    I think maybe I have left him a little confused. Of course I'm not really expecting to trade. Giving gifts is a reward in it's self, although let's hope the gifts don't need to come with health warnings.

    Of course I jest that I am making Jam, because to start with I wouldn't even know how to. But I am out collecting, some for us and the occasional crumble (thank you so much for the freezing advice) some for the neighbours and the rest for the birds.

    We are though, according to MrJoJo, home brewing wine.... Nice to see his enthusiasm beginning. Before long I think he will be wanting a shed.

    If nobody objects I would like to keep a diary of my baby steps (not sure if this is the best place for it. Any advice would be welcomed) and then I may look back in a few months and wonder why on earth aubergines scared me!
  • jojo1974
    jojo1974 Posts: 50 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    Hi Lesssonlearned

    Mr fox is fast approaching retirement age and that partly why we made such a drastic change to our lifestyle. However I am just approaching the big four zero.

    I will take you advise about the potatoes. The garden has only been brambles and grass for many many years.

    I remember as a child my father was a keen vegetable grower and they tasted so much better. We live quite high up and the ground is very boggy so have been told to grow veg in raised planters. This may be a question for the other forum.

    We have been well looked after by the fortune gods lately so can happily retire if we wanted, but my old self needs to have a purpose and I think I may be beginning to see what will work for me.
  • PlymouthMaid
    PlymouthMaid Posts: 1,550 Forumite
    Seventh Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I think you have both got a wonderful opportunity for a whole new lifestyle, one which should prove to be both fulfilling, enriching and healthy. I have been brambling today too but have learned not to make jam as we did not eat the last batch which sat for 6 years before I threw it away (jam just does not feature in our diet). I use them now for crumbles and am going to try blackberry wine this year.

    I would love to have a real garden but even in my little city yard I grow a fair variety of things. Courgettes are especially rewarding and easy :)

    I will look forward to reading about your growth as a domestic goddess. There are lots of lovely inspiring blogs online to give you ideas.
    "'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
    Try to make ends meet
    You're a slave to money then you die"
  • Hi JO JO it's never easy leaving familiar surroundings and having, even by choice, to start a new life in a new place where you don't know a soul! It might help you to see your new circumstances as the start of a new and Old Style career as a domesticated homemaker and set yourself to learning all the new skills you will need to make it happen. I don't know if you have ever seen the FRUGAL QUEEN blog on Google? she's an inspiration when it comes to making £1 do the work of £2 and is a very positive force which is full of good common sense ideas to make life the way she wants it to be - the real way- not the 'you can have it all and cake too' way. The thing with new starts is to do it one thing at a time, get that so regular that it becomes second nature and part of everyday life and then when you don't have to think about it any longer but do it as a matter of course tackle the next thing. Takes a little time but makes achieveing the whole much easier. You could call the jam conserve? would that make a difference to your Hubbys opinion? Good luck with it all, ask for help if you need to, someone on here will have an answer for you, Lyn xxx.
  • Runnerduck
    Runnerduck Posts: 3,146 Forumite
    I won, I won, I won! I've been Money Tipped!
    Hi jojo, good luck and you will love it when you settle in, i don't know which side of the beacons you are but there is a garden centre (the old railway line) in three cocks and the staff there are very helpful with any gardening question. have you considered keeping chickens yourself as they make lovely pets and if you are in the garden often they are great company.
  • maman
    maman Posts: 29,705 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Just called by to wish you luck. I come from South Wales originally so was envious of your new home.:)


    What sort of advice do you need?


    I'm no gardener but I would agree make plans during the winter and any clearing get it done earlier rather than later in the spring before everything (i.e. weeds) starts growing again.


    I know you said you used to just pick up dinner on the way home. Can you cook at all? Do you have plenty of freezer space? What sort of foods do you like? How far are you from the nearest shops and which ones are available?


    If there's just the two of you then keeping the house clean shouldn't be a major problem.


    I know you said your house needs some doing up but are you OK for furniture and soft furnishings? Are you OK for clothes?


    Sorry to fire questions at you but I jus wanted an idea of where you are.:o
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