cheeky to ask guests to pay?

Ruby_Roo

If your 65 included guests allows you to invite the people you want there and there isn't room in the budget to extend the daytime guest list, then you need to draw a line at that point.

I think its rude to ask people to pay for themselves. I would be more inclined to say that you have limited numbers for the wedding breakfast, but you'd love to see them in the evening.

That said, I think its rude for people to invite themselves to someone's wedding or assume they are/will be invited - if you haven't received a 'save the date' or invitation then you're not wanted.

Anatidaephobia

It's a rather peculiar scenario because presumably everybody you wanted to attend is already included in the 65 guests so who are these extra people and why aren't you just saying no to them?

mazziem

I don't think your a bridezilla and I imagine it's passed most brides mind but we haven't actually said it out loud.

Iv said to my partner between us 'well if they want to come they can flipping well pay for themselves' but I haven't actually said that, iv just politely said we are limited on numbers and can only have so many in the day. You have to draw a line some where and regardless of where you draw it someone will be offended so.... Just take the leap and offend with a no rather than pay for yourself.
Good luck xx

hieveryone

SailorSam wrote: »

What then would you say to a couple who invited you to their wedding which meant it was going to cost you a week in the Maldives or Florida, aren't they even more rude expecting their guests to pay out thousands.

People who are marrying abroad will (usually) have factored that in and pay for their guests to travel with them. IF someone dared to ask me to go to a wedding abroad and said that I had to pay for myself, I'd be congratulating them on their nuptials and seeing them when they returned! :rotfl:

Hev_smev wrote: »

i went to a wedding in october, where we are all asking to pay for our own dinners at £50 and no one said a word apart from yes!

If 10 more people come to my wedding it'll cost me £1100

I would like people to pay 6 weeks in advance and yes 1 couple has agreed to do it as they understand budget is tight.

Before you ask, no we don't have a wedding gift list as personally i find it rude when people ask for cash to pay off their debts at weddings!

Errmmm, but you don't think it's rude to ask people to pay to attend your wedding? I'd pay to attend a show, or a gig, or to see a film at the cinema. I sure as hell wouldn't pay to watch someone getting married, least of all someone who didn't want me there in the first place :rotfl:

suki1964

To be honest, I'm the other side of this

Step daughter is getting married is 2016 and her idea on how to pay for it was along the lines of " wedding presents cash wise is £100 per couple, that will pay their meals!"

I was horrified to say the least

So we looked at the venue, spoke to the wedding organiser and changed the date and amount of invited guests. Her dad is paying for that. She has to keep her numbers down. Simple

I felt sick to the stomach at the thought of ' inviting" and then charging

So call me old fashioned, but if you are the host(ess) then it's up to you to provide


If you can't , then don't send out invites

candygirl

Why the hell would anyone want to go to any wedding, and pay for themselves? Seems very odd to me :cool:

duchy

Hev_smev wrote: »

i went to a wedding in october, where we are all asking to pay for our own dinners at £50 and no one said a word apart from yes!

If 10 more people come to my wedding it'll cost me £1100

I would like people to pay 6 weeks in advance and yes 1 couple has agreed to do it as they understand budget is tight.

Before you ask, no we don't have a wedding gift list as personally i find it rude when people ask for cash to pay off their debts at weddings!

So do you expect wedding gifts from your er paying guests too??

hellokitty08

OK, I can sort of see both sides to this.

When my sister got married, it was in the registery office, we then went to a resturant afterwards. We said we would like people to join us, but unfortunaly everyone would have to pay for themselves. (everyone came and enjoyed it, about 35 people)

If people started inviting themselves to my wedding I would defo go with the, unfortunalty we dont have to room.

Idiophreak

candygirl wrote: »

Why the hell would anyone want to go to any wedding, and pay for themselves? Seems very odd to me :cool:

Meh.

I've been to a couple of weddings where the wife was invited to the breakfast and I've only been invited to the ceremony / evening.

If cost were the only consideration, I wouldn't mind paying the difference so I could spend the day with my wife instead of wandering around supermarkets in my suit.

Sadly, I don't think it's every really just about the money...and that's what OP seems to be missing.

Say you've got two sets of friends...a wealthy set who are less good friends and a skint set who are very good friends...both just missed out on the A-list of invites. Would it make sense to allow the first set to buy their way in? No.

Everyone understands that places at weddings are limited according to venue and budget...it's just a case of saying "no" to people who haven't made the cut.

Hev_smev

duchy wrote: »

So do you expect wedding gifts from your er paying guests too??

No i have already said, I think asking for cash in a card is a fast!