Baby next door crying non-stop!

Takeaway_Addict

lulu_92 wrote: »

I had considered talking to their landlord about it.

It is so difficult to know how to deal with it when it's not really my business what they do.

Take tonight for example. OH and I are sat in our living room with the football on. ALL we can hear is next door. We turn to TV up to an extent but we have neighbours on our other side who have a baby and don't want to disturb them.

Ultimately your neighbours are being selfish and there is little you can do about this.

You will either have to do one of three things:

a) Start giving them a taste of their medicine, speakers against the wall blasting away during the quieter times.
b) Move earlier than you wanted to
c) Put your own sound proofing up.

a) would be satisfying for a bit but wouldn't really solve anything.

b) would be most ideal IMO

c) Would be good but I would make sure I'm making alot of noise whilst doing it so that if the neighbours come round you can quite bluntly tell them why you are having to spend your own good hard earned money to solve a problem they should be doing....you never know they might offer to pay for some of it!

I feel for you, I really do!

notanewuser

Which side is your hallway, OP?

thorsoak

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

So if you were worried about your neighbours did you look at sound proofing your house?

I'm not saying your prime concern shouldn't be your baby but you could have done something to help the neighbours out who didn't choose to have their nerves shredded to bits....hence the common misconception that neighbours just have to suck it up (bit in bold emphasises this).

No - it didn't occur to us - bear in mind this was 40 years ago, and the idea of sound-proofing was in its infancy. We did what we could - which included one or other of us taking no 3 son out in his pram at 7pm and walking the streets with him, trying to get him to sleep. Remember, this was pre-baby seat days. The other parent stayed at home, bathing our other two children, reading to them, and trying to settle them to sleep - at 5, and just having started school, No 1 son needed his sleep. We were both frazzled. And this was the winter of 1972/3, and it was freezing! No 3 son was snug and warm in his pram, but still restless and grizzling - but it helped at bit.

But as I said, maybe people were more compassionate and less judgemental than today .......

ohlookabee

Im on the other side of this, i had an ill child ( severe milk protein allergy and reflux)who screamed all the time. I Had pnd and major social anxiety. I felt bad for the neighbours but im living hell, i didnt get sleep, i didnt go out i was very very unhappy.

If my neighbours complained or got angry with me it would have made it worse. I have lovely neighbours though who helped me and came round and made me tea. They had a daughter of their own so knew to some extent what it was like.

Its not nice i completely get that, but there maybe nothing they can do.

Armchair23

OK I have to fess up here to be the parent of one of those babies who never slept for more than an hour and cried, howled,wailed and shrieked every night for about 18 months.
It was ruddy hell.
He was a planned,much wanted and loved baby but being calm and loving, building routines, and all the other well intended advice made NO DIFFERENCE AT ALL.
I was a walking (when I had the energy) zombie.
During the day he was the most adorable, loving, engaging child. How he did that on almost no sleep I'll never understand.

We had neighbours who kindly asked if there was a problem they could help with, we had random visits from health visitors and appeared on some kind of at risk register. Which we discovered when after a 36 hour crying bout we took him to A&E.

How none of us maimed ourselves or each other I'll never know. Our son took destruction testing to it's limits.

However he is now a happy, healthy loving bloke nearing 30. No visible scars !

It's horrendous, whether you're the parent (god forbid) or neighbour. There can't be a worse sound than a baby crying that you have no way of comforting or silencing.

Although it doesn't seem like they want any kind of connection maybe you could try a 'seems like you're having a tough time with baby' comment. If you get the could shoulder just remember you're probably talking to someone who is at their wits end.

They might actually welcome someone intervening leading to them getting some outside support , it's so hard to tell.

Meantime I hope for everyone sake it's a quiet evening.

Takeaway_Addict

ohlookabee wrote: »

Im on the other side of this, i had an ill child ( severe milk protein allergy and reflux)who screamed all the time. I Had pnd and major social anxiety. I felt bad for the neighbours but im living hell, i didnt get sleep, i didnt go out i was very very unhappy.

If my neighbours complained or got angry with me it would have made it worse. I have lovely neighbours though who helped me and came round and made me tea. They had a daughter of their own so knew to some extent what it was like.

Its not nice i completely get that, but there maybe nothing they can do.

And I do have some sympathy for you but remember, you chose to have a child and the possible risks of excessive noise involved. They did not.

You/your OH could have sound proofed your house when it became obvious that your child was not going to stop screaming.

Neighbours will tolerate a small amount of noise but months on end they should not have to.

QuackQuackOops

lulu_92 wrote: »

You are more than welcome to come to my house and see how bad the noise is for yourself.

Yes, the family might be going through their own personal hell that I don't know about - which is why I don't say anything!

I do think that I am perfectly in my right to want to be able to be in my house and not have to put up with it, though.

I'm not exactly being selfish by wanting that. I think some parents forget how it feels for childless people.

That is a good idea missbiggles, I will talk to OH about it (although I can guarantee he will say no because he will see it as an added expense - not my fault!)

I am really worried about rubbing people up the wrong way and I am too shy to say anything to people as well (I will have to get over that, I am aware)

I am disappointed that "because babies cry" is a perfect justification. If it was loud music it would be a different story.

Are you for real?
Loud music is something a person does deliberately and can be turned down. There is choice.

What do you expect the parents to do with a crying baby? Put a gag in its mouth so you're not disturbed?
You'd be the first to cry "child cruelty" if they did.

Honestly, what do you think they can do about it even if you did bring it to their attention?

Ignore it and get on with your own affairs.

Takeaway_Addict

QuackQuackOops wrote: »

Are you for real?
Loud music is something a person does deliberately and can be turned down. There is choice.

What do you expect the parents to do with a crying baby? Put a gag in its mouth so you're not disturbed?
You'd be the first to cry "child cruelty" if they did.

Honestly, what do you think they can do about it even if you did bring it to their attention?

Ignore it and get on with your own affairs.

You could ignore 8 months of near constant screaming? Yeah right!

Indie_Kid

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

And I do have some sympathy for you but remember, you chose to have a child and the possible risks of excessive noise involved. They did not.

You/your OH could have sound proofed your house when it became obvious that your child was not going to stop screaming.

Neighbours will tolerate a small amount of noise but months on end they should not have to.

But not everyone has the money / time to soundproof. I'm sure many aren't aware of it.

My neighbours with babies sound like right angels. No idea how old the babies are; but I've heard them cry once or maybe twice. They're at least 3-4 months old. They have other children too and we do sometimes hear them talk. But that's rare.

thorsoak

I am heartily sick and tired of this thread : it seems that there are two camps - the camp which contains the poor benighted parents who are - or who have experienced the torment of a child that cannot be pacified - and the camp which demands peace and quiet at all times and who demand that their rights and needs overwhelm any other circumstances.

I'm very sad to realise that on this board there are so many people who feel that their rights are paramount and anyone who dares to have a child should consider the feelings of their neighbour over and above all else.

And for the argument that parents should sound proof their homes when a child screams and screams and screams ....words fail me!

Why not just demand that screaming children are exterminated? The parents should have known better than to procreate!