Is it unreasonable to expect someone to turn up on time?

Georgiegirl256

DUTR wrote: »

It's just part of people's character, I guess so.it doesn't make one right and the other wrong IMO, although I do feel where an event is not time critical, the expectation to be punctual is bordering on bullying, let people be.

Bullying? That's abit harsh? Who's bullying? Certainly not me as luckily I don't have to deal with people of that "character" and if I did, would only mention it if it became a recurring problem.

DUTR

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Bullying? That's abit harsh? Who's bullying? Certainly not me as luckily I don't have to deal with people of that "character" and if I did, would only mention it if it became a recurring problem.

It may be harsh to the victim, having a pop at them for not being to the dot, we have already established a few minutes here or there, asking somebody to change their ways to suit someone else's preference is a form of bullying. Because the long and short of it, is it doesn't really matter. After all if someone for a social event is often around 15 mins later than the others, then why not suggest a time to them 15 mins earlier, then they can be late but still on time, it's a win win.

DUTR

jaylee3 wrote: »

You have absolutely GOT to be kidding?

That is by a country mile, the most ridiculous comment on here. I can only assume that you're putting this for a joke. There is no WAY you can be serious!

If people are going to put such comments, that are frankly bordering on the ludicrous, and are massively insulting to anyone who actually HAS been bullied, I literally cannot debate with such people.

I'm outta here.

The debate has gotten plain stupid now. Wanting people to be on time is 'bullying.' Good grief!

As you don't know the characters in real life, then it's equally ludicrous to suggest they do not know what bullying is or never experienced it, can you not accept that people will have views that differ from your own?
Have a deep look at your post again and truthfully ask yourself, can it not be deemed as bullying?
You see the signs when having a pop comments like what you have written to gain an advantage are written.

Buzzybee90

Arriving on time is polite. Having an arrival time is helpful for the host and the guests. It's insane to suggest it's anything more than convenient for both parties.

Oops, random !

jaylee3

DUTR wrote: »

As you don't know the characters in real life, then it's equally ludicrous to suggest they do not know what bullying is or never experienced it, can you not accept that people will have views that differ from your own?
Have a deep look at your post again and truthfully ask yourself, can it not be deemed as bullying?


You see the signs when having a pop comments like what you have written to gain an advantage are written.

NO. Wanting people to come for the arranged time, can NOT be deemed as bullying. It's ludicrous to suggest it is, and I would suggest that anyone who suggests it's 'bullying,' has never actually been bullied. If they HAD been, they would not deem something so pitifully trivial as 'bullying.'

As for your last sentence; I can't make any sense of it, and don't have a clue what you are saying, so I can't comment.

But I am done with this thread now, because as I said, it's gotten ridiculous when someone suggests that people wanting people to be on time is bullying.

I've heard it all now.

As I said, I am done on this thread.

DUTR

purpleshoes wrote: »

Seriously, where did I say I just turned up and hoped for the best? Of course I know the times of the buses that run past my house. My point was that unlike other areas of the town, I have one bus company that serves the route and 3 buses run an hour. One every 20 mins.

So if I turn up for the 10.14 and it doesnt turn up, the next one is 10.34 so then yes, you are at the mercy of public transport.

I dont know anyone who would think that was appropriate.

In the morning when I used to have to get 2 buses to work, it sometimes did appear that the bus hadn't shown, however it was that the driver had departed the check point early by sometimes 4 or 5 minutes.

DUTR

jaylee3 wrote: »

NO. Wanting people to come for the arranged time, can NOT be deemed as bullying. It's ludicrous to suggest it is, and I would suggest that anyone who suggests it's 'bullying,' has never actually been bullied. If they HAD been, they would not deem something so pitifully trivial as 'bullying.'

As for your last sentence; I can't make any sense of it, and don't have a clue what you are saying, so I can't comment.

But I am done with this thread now, because as I said, it's gotten ridiculous when someone suggests that people wanting people to be on time is bullying.

I've heard it all now.

As I said, I am done on this thread.

It depends on who suggested that time?
As for the last sentence....who's stronger? The person who goes through bad experiences and can still see the good in life despite if it? Or the person who cannot control their impulses and imposes the on others?

Pollycat

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

If you have more open ended time options such as anytime between 1400 and say 1430 then that's fine, because it's agreed in advance. But if it's agreed that you'll meet at 1400, then both parties should be punctual.

I agree with this.

I think it depends on what the parties have agreed.

If I arrange to meet someone outside M&S at 2pm, I will be there at 2pm and would expect them to be there too - unless they have contacted me to say they are going to be late.

However, if I arrange to meet someone in the pub between 2pm & 2:30, then I would probably arrive close to 2pm and expect to see the other people by 2:30.
Not 2:45 or 3pm.

DUTR wrote: »

TBH I wouldn't have friends that are so anal about time for none essential meetings, it could be argued is the organiser so important that 'everyone' should jump to their rigid schedule?

But often there is no 'organiser'. Just friends meeting up.

DUTR wrote: »

It depends on who suggested that time?

If I was meeting friends and we were discussing meeting times, I would expect that if I suggested a time that wasn't convenient for them, they would say so at the time, not turn up half an hour later because they knew they wouldn't have enough time to get home from work, change and be out again for the time I suggested.

DUTR

Pollycat wrote: »

I agree with this.

I think it depends on what the parties have agreed.

If I arrange to meet someone outside M&S at 2pm, I will be there at 2pm and would expect them to be there too - unless they have contacted me to say they are going to be late.

However, if I arrange to meet someone in the pub between 2pm & 2:30, then I would probably arrive close to 2pm and expect to see the other people by 2:30.
Not 2:45 or 3pm.


But often there is no 'organiser'. Just friends meeting up.

If I was meeting friends and we were discussing meeting times, I would expect that if I suggested a time that wasn't convenient for them, they would say so at the time, not turn up half an hour later because they knew they wouldn't have enough time to get home from work, change and be out again for the time I suggested.

I guess it's just how different groups function, with my lot there is no leader or pecking order, if we were going up the town for drinks, there is a time window for the start point, whoever is there is in, if the group decide to go elsewhere before all have arrived, there is no waiting, I/they can just catch up with where ever we/they maybe.

Some maybe not outspoken enough, or at the time it seems reasonable.
I guess it's just the flavour of some of the replies , if someone is late they are in someway inferior to those that are always punctual.

I have an aquantance, that say you invited her or even if she suggested going anywhere, you can rest assured, at the very last minute she would bail out, e will be then she will be absent afterwards. But she does lack a lot of confidence although if you were speaking to her, she gives it the big I am.

purpleshoes_2

DUTR wrote: »

In the morning when I used to have to get 2 buses to work, it sometimes did appear that the bus hadn't shown, however it was that the driver had departed the check point early by sometimes 4 or 5 minutes.

When I do turn up for a bus, its not by the skin of my teeth, because they can and do also go early, but they arent supposed to. Drivers can be disciplined if a bus goes early, but thats rare here. Always tends to be late. It apparently isnt a disciplinary offence in the biggest bus company in my area if a driver is late, but it is if they are early.

I just think its ridiculous that one person on this thread made judgements about me (because I was referred to in the thread) as being arrogant and I'll need to look back but Im sure the words rude and disrespectful were as well. I actually respect my mum more than just about anyone else in the world. Shes seen me through some really tough times recently and vice versa, shes had my absolute support and she knows it and the same from her to me.
Having a bus service that is quite frankly pants has no impact on our relationship, because if I am late and have to get the next bus, she'll go somewhere and have a coffee and wait for me. And if there are times when she is held up, we dont have a ding dong about it, I'll go somewhere and wait on her.

It doesnt happen all the time either, but no one can help if they live in an area with a poor bus service. If I had a doctors appointment Id leave in good time to get there but I still cant guarantee that buses will run to time oddly enough, the last few times Ive been at my GP Ive been sitting up to 30-45 mins waiting because they have been running late, they always run late at my doctors surgery. I wonder if the same poster who referred to me and possibly other people as rude, disrespectful and arrogant would say the same of GP's. Hairdressers too, Ive been to the hairdressers on many occasions and never been taken on time either.

Surprised that some people can hold down jobs? I worked for the best part of 15 years over 15 plus miles away from home, including getting up ridiculously early for work, such as 5am starts. The stupid thing is in my area that its easier to get to places 15 miles away than it is to go half a mile up the road because theres a better and more punctual service to get to the nearest next city and beyond than there is to get into the local town.

My mum has to get two buses to get to my house outwith 9-5 and vice versa and sometimes the buses connect so that you step off one and get on the other and sometimes they don't.

A bit of flexibility never went amiss and neither did a bit of understanding.

I dont see why other people should be lambasted and have words like arrogant, rude and disrespectful thrown at them, plus comments about holding down jobs and stuff said like someone WILL wait for you, when its not like that in the slightest.

Asking for an explanation as to why friends were late? If its not offered how do you know it hasnt been something serious. Plus, if someone is repeatedly late and it drives you mad then instead of getting worked up about it, you have choices not to be their friends anymore.

Dare I say it, sometimes people get upset about friends timekeeping and will put up with much worse behaviour from partners, family members.

If we sat down and made lists of things that everyone significant in our lives did to us, intentional and unintentional I dare say none of us would have anyone close to us at all.