Is it unreasonable to expect someone to turn up on time?

missbiggles1

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

This could be me. I find it so stressful to be late. I would rather be an hour early and hang around than be five minutes late.

Luckily my husband is also a punctual person. Son less so, but his girlfriend bucks him up

Now that sounds to me as if you don't value your time or that of the person you're with.

I've never missed any form of public transport or been late for the theatre or cinema but one's social life is different and should, I feel, be more relaxed than having to do it by the clock.

I also think (and I'm not aiming this at you) that there's a strange sort of moral superiority expressed by people who think that punctuality is exceptionally important rather than tolerance and acceptance that it's just one way of ordering your life. That's been shown very clearly on this thread.

Person_one

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Now that sounds to me as if you don't value your time or that of the person you're with.

I've never missed any form of public transport or been late for the theatre or cinema but one's social life is different and should, I feel, be more relaxed than having to do it by the clock.

I also think (and I'm not aiming this at you) that there's a strange sort of moral superiority expressed by people who think that punctuality is exceptionally important rather than tolerance and acceptance that it's just one way of ordering your life. That's been shown very clearly on this thread.

I suppose punctuality probably seems less important if you're the one merrily arriving when you please than if you're the one always waiting alone in a cafe/bar, or trying to hold onto a table on your own, or pacing up and down or twiddling your thumbs!

I don't stress over people being 10 or 15 minutes late, that's life and it happens, but it would irk me if I knew they ad no intention of even trying to be on time.

seven-day-weekend

[QUOTE=missbiggles1;66243019]Now that sounds to me as if you don't value your time or that of the person you're with.

I've never missed any form of public transport or been late for the theatre or cinema but one's social life is different and should, I feel, be more relaxed than having to do it by the clock.

I also think (and I'm not aiming this at you) that there's a strange sort of moral superiority expressed by people who think that punctuality is exceptionally important rather than tolerance and acceptance that it's just one way of ordering your life. That's been shown very clearly on this thread.[/QUOTE]

Who said anything about being with someone? If I'm with someone else, I adapt to their wishes (as long as they don't want to be late). I'm talking about if I'm on my own.

I don't make a point of being an hour early. I time things so that there is leeway in case things go wrong. I prefer to be exactly on time.

I do value my time, which is why I don't want to spend it stressing about being late. I'd rather relax and enjoy the journey knowing I've got plenty of time and amuse myself at the other end.

I do think punctuality is important. Otherwise it's a case of 'shrug, whatever' if you think you can turn up when you like, which imho, is disrespectful to the person extending the invitation.

Georgiegirl256

missbiggles1 wrote: »

I'd expect to get my aperitive and nibbles quite quickly after arriving and then be left in peace to look at the menu for a while.

If you don't wait in a restaurant it means the food isn't being freshly cooked and is being reheated in a microwave or similar. If you want fast food, go to McDonalds!

I like my food to be freshly cooked, and of course you would expect that in a fine dining restaurant. However, most restaurants manage to get their food out without too long a wait as they realise that they are providing a service, and it isn't polite to keep your customers waiting.

Any longer than half an hour and I'd get impatient and start to wonder what the hold up was.

Buzzybee90

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I like my food to be freshly cooked, and of course you would expect that in a fine dining restaurant. However, most restaurants manage to get their food out without too long a wait as they realise that they are providing a service, and it isn't polite to keep your customers waiting.

Any longer than half an hour and I'd get impatient and start to wonder what the hold up was.

It depends if you're going round for a dinner party, or a casual evening hanging out (that also involves tea at some point)

notanewuser

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

To those who are always late, I am interested in knowing why? Do you think if someone says 8 o'clock they mean any time after 8? Or do you intend to get there for eight but never quite make it? If so, what stops you?

Might help for understanding!

(To me, if someone says 8 o'clock, then that's the time I should be there. If they'd wanted me there at twenty past, they'd have said twenty past).

Not deliberate or intentional for me, I just underestimate how long it will take to do things before going (especially as DH is hopelessly disorganised and will decide to go to the loo for 15 minutes 5 mins before we need to leave!) and how long the journey will take. When I was working full time I had every clock set 20 minutes ahead.

seven-day-weekend

notanewuser wrote: »

Not deliberate or intentional for me, I just underestimate how long it will take to do things before going (especially as DH is hopelessly disorganised and will decide to go to the loo for 15 minutes 5 mins before we need to leave!) and how long the journey will take. When I was working full time I had every clock set 20 minutes ahead.

Thanks for explaining....so if you know that you always underestimate the time, why not set out half an hour before you think you need to?

Just asking and trying to understand, not judging

notanewuser

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Thanks for explaining....so if you know that you always underestimate the time, why not set out half an hour before you think you need to?

Just asking and trying to understand, not judging

Because that means doing everything half an hour earlier and there are 2 other people in the household that don't run to the same timetable as me!!

notanewuser

I should stress that I'm only late around 60% of the time and never more than 10 mins.

missbiggles1

Person_one wrote: »

I suppose punctuality probably seems less important if you're the one merrily arriving when you please than if you're the one always waiting alone in a cafe/bar, or trying to hold onto a table on your own, or pacing up and down or twiddling your thumbs!

I don't stress over people being 10 or 15 minutes late, that's life and it happens, but it would irk me if I knew they ad no intention of even trying to be on time.

AFAIK , I've been talking about people being 10/20 minutes late, it's others who seem to have extrapolated that to running into hours.