Do men get broody?

Carl31

I always wanted to be a dad from a young age, but we don't get broody like women do. Women are biologically programmed to want children, where as we are programmed to spread our seed

I think with women, the desire is stronger, and more a 'need' than a simple 'want'

bossymoo

My DH was clear from when we met that he wanted children (I did too, at the right time). He was very keen, and we sat down and decided together what order we'd do things in (house, marriage then children). He also cried with joy when I told him I was expecting for the first time (it had taken longer than we hoped to conceive).

Although to be fair (after having had radiotherapy as a child) what he said was "are you really??? I thought maybe I was a Jaffa" :rotfl:

Some friends of our married in the same year had a child a couple of years after, following much [strike]pestering[/strike] encouragement by the husband (the wife wanted more time to develop her career). The cheeky s0d husband also confided in my DH that he had an affair whilst she was pregnant :mad: he doesn't know that I know, but I've never quite looked at him the same

Person_one

Gavin83 wrote: »

I totally agree with you, protection should always be used. I didn't use the word trap either or in any way suggest that the women were in the wrong here, just making the point that the woman has more choice in the matter. I was also commenting on the poster who seemed to believe that a man who doesn't want children should suddenly change his mind when they turn up.

I do know of one guy who was in a relationship with a woman and she was on the pill. He didn't particularly want children but she ended up pregnant anyway. Turns out she'd stopped taking her pill and had failed to inform him. This is just wrong in my eyes, totally dishonest.

And in reference to your last comment I assume the unprotected sex happened before he was considering splitting. It takes a bit of time for a woman to realise she's pregnant after all.

There are these things called 'condoms'. Used properly they're remarkably effective at preventing pregnancy. STIs too.

Gavin83

Person_one wrote: »

There are these things called 'condoms'. Used properly they're remarkably effective at preventing pregnancy. STIs too.

So you don't think lying about taking the pill is dishonest?

I'm also sure most people in relationships look to use other forms than condoms as well. Does everyone here use condoms in relationships until they want children then? Never expected that.

notanewuser

Gavin83 wrote: »

So you don't think lying about taking the pill is dishonest?

I'm also sure most people in relationships look to use other forms than condoms as well. Does everyone here use condoms in relationships until they want children then? Never expected that.

Yes.

(Message too short.)

Person_one

Gavin83 wrote: »

So you don't think lying about taking the pill is dishonest?

I'm also sure most people in relationships look to use other forms than condoms as well. Does everyone here use condoms in relationships until they want children then? Never expected that.

I would hope that most couples use condoms until they're at the point in the relationship where they fully trust each other, where they have both had sexual health checks and where they've discussed what they would do about an unplanned pregnancy.

Yes, it's wrong to stop taking the pill without telling your partner, but men do have the option of maintaining control over contraception too if they want to be 100% sure.

I don't think I believe the stories about women just dying to 'trap' a man through pregnancy though. After all, loads of them don't stick around anyway and let's be realistic, most aren't that good a catch to be worth the bother and the risk!

Billie-S

Gavin83 wrote: »

I totally agree with you, protection should always be used. I didn't use the word trap either or in any way suggest that the women were in the wrong here, just making the point that the woman has more choice in the matter. I was also commenting on the poster who seemed to believe that a man who doesn't want children should suddenly change his mind when they turn up.

I do know of one guy who was in a relationship with a woman and she was on the pill. He didn't particularly want children but she ended up pregnant anyway. Turns out she'd stopped taking her pill and had failed to inform him. This is just wrong in my eyes, totally dishonest.

And in reference to your last comment I assume the unprotected sex happened before he was considering splitting. It takes a bit of time for a woman to realise she's pregnant after all.

It's not that you're saying the women 'trapped' the men; in my opinion, your posts were implying it, that the actions of these cunning evil women were trapping a man into a fatherhood they didn't want. In addition your comments implied that it was always 'she' who caused the pregnancy! That is how I read into your posts.

As for your last comment about the man who was about to dump his girlfriend; you say the last time he had sex with her was probably ages before he planned on dumping her, and yet in your previous post, you claimed that they had only been together 'a few months.' So something doesn't add up.

I also reiterate what I said in an earlier post, that whenever there is an accidental pregnancy, and the man did not really want it; it's almost always in a relationship where the couple are not married. I have yet to meet a married couple who had children that the man did not want or plan!

Oh and finally, yes, I would expect men to be using condoms as well as the pill if they flat out do not want a baby, because the pill is not 100% reliable. I would particularly expect it, if it was a relationship where the couple had only been together 'a few months.'

As I said before, men are quick to blame the woman when a pregnancy occurs, but it takes two to make a baby, and if you don't want one, use a condom.

74jax

sterl1ng wrote: »

is it just us women who get broody about having kids or do men get broody too?

I think it's some blokes, just as it's some women. I'm definitely not one of your 'us women', could think of nothing worse.

Peter333

Woah! :eek: Does this really happen? Men being lumbered with children they didn't want?! Good grief! I can certainly say that I wanted and planned all 3 of my children, and don't know a single man personally who has a child that their woman planned without telling them.

In my circle of friends and in my family - there are many children, and as far as I know, all planned AND wanted.

I would have imagined that most couples would discuss this from the onset, before getting married. And if they are not married, then I agree with Billie-S and Person-One, and notanewuser, that if a man does not want a baby, then they should be using a condom.

At the moment, I have a son and a nephew who are due to get married next year (one spring, one Autumn,) the relationships are 7-10 years old, and they both want children. They're both more excited at the prospect of having children than the women at the moment. As a poster above said, the women are focussed on their careers at the moment. That, and travel plans.

I don't actually know of any man who has had the woman in their life, deliberately get pregnant when she knew he didn't want children. I have literally never known this happen to anyone. At all. Ever.

Oh and back to the OP; yes, men do get broody. And I agree with the majority above, that if a woman does get pregnant, and the man didn't want it, it's unfair to blame her!

Gavin83

Billie-S wrote: »

It's not that you're saying the women 'trapped' the men; in my opinion, your posts were implying it, that the actions of these cunning evil women were trapping a man into a fatherhood they didn't want. In addition your comments implied that it was always 'she' who caused the pregnancy! That is how I read into your posts.

Then your interpreting my posts incorrectly and looking into them too deeply. The only point I was making is that women have more choice in the matter, which is true. I'm not apportioning blame at all as clearly it takes two to create a baby.

However lying to your partner about taking protection and then not taking it is totally dishonest. I'm actually quite surprised people don't agree with this.

Billie-S wrote: »

As for your last comment about the man who was about to dump his girlfriend; you say the last time he had sex with her was probably ages before he planned on dumping her, and yet in your previous post, you claimed that they had only been together 'a few months.' So something doesn't add up.

I'll fill you in as best I can as obviously I don't know the details of their sex life. They were together about 3 months before he said he was considering splitting with her. A week later he announced the pregnancy. I don't know how far gone she was at this point but I assume she actually conceived extremely early in the relationship.

I also don't know what their situation was with protection. I fully agree with you though, not using protection when you don't want a baby is stupid. He was never the sharpest tool in the box though.

I've been with my girlfriend 7 years and we've managed to avoid having babies but then again we've always used protection.

Billie-S wrote: »

I also reiterate what I said in an earlier post, that whenever there is an accidental pregnancy, and the man did not really want it; it's almost always in a relationship where the couple are not married. I have yet to meet a married couple who had children that the man did not want or plan!

Agreed. I would assume if they reach the point of marriage then you'll have a shared view when it comes to children.

Billie-S wrote: »

Oh and finally, yes, I would expect men to be using condoms as well as the pill if they flat out do not want a baby, because the pill is not 100% reliable. I would particularly expect it, if it was a relationship where the couple had only been together 'a few months.'

As I said before, men are quick to blame the woman when a pregnancy occurs, but it takes two to make a baby, and if you don't want one, use a condom.

Condoms aren't exactly 100% reliable either.

Do you use condoms in your relationship up until the point you want a child? Everyone I know in a long term relationship (where I know the details) no longer use condoms, they use other options. Condoms very much strike me as a form of protection used by single people and newly formed couples.