Want (?need) to change everything...

Alchemilla

Hugs. Have a look at mr money mustache blog on the "renting a house you cant afford" topic.
Might give you some inspiration.x

cazziebo

Re the guy - you can't make people feel something so you don't have any control over that. You do over the rest of the stuff - mostly.

Like you, I resisted going for help for a long time. However, I do wish I'd gone earlier. I did get anti depressants, and what they did was help me sleep which meant that I could see things more clearly. I didn't need them for very long, but I believe that, and the support of my GP, helped me get my life back on track.

What do you really want to do? Best thing I did was getting back to work full time. My kids were 3 and 5 months but I found a great childminder. It was wonderful having adult company, a sense of worth and most importantly, my own reliable income. My only real problem was covering my childminders' holidays, but found friends to be very supportive (my family lived hundreds of miles away).

I started and finished two OU degrees while the kids were young - mainly because I was stuck in during the evenings and this gave me something to do. We had some informal study groups where a group of would get together one a month or whatever - 10 years on I'm still friendly with some of them now.

Negativity is a horrible trap. I remember thinking I was too old (31!), kids were too young, childcare too expensive, been out the workplace too long, no family around, lived in a village so commuting too difficult, too ugly, everyone else was happier than me, no one could be bothered with me.... Financially I had to do something drastic (never thought for a second about what I wanted to do!) so applied for every job that didn't specify a degree in brain surgery or suchlike. Got a job I wouldn't have chosen but decent salary, nice people, and it got me back into the workplace.

Another good book is Feel the Fear by Susan Jeffers. Best of luck! x

harrys_nan

Is your little one at nursery? How about chatting to the other mums, my daughter has a much wider circle of friends than she had at school, because of the chats she has at the nursery gates, she is also on the PTA at her sons school.
Get involved and see if friendships happen.
I wish sometimes that I hadn't always worked so I could have made friends like she has.
I wish you well, please pop and have a chat with your doctor, you do seem very down, xx

befuddled000

Thank you all, so much for taking the time to post.

I've been trying to stay busy today. I know when I have time to think I'm at my worst.

I've decided to look for work and a new home. Even if I don't go through with it, at least it is a process that will hopefully snap me out of this.

I've been exceptionally careful with money for a couple of weeks to make inroads to debt, but I am going to spend a little this weekend and next week. We have weeks ahead of us with very little planned, and psychologically I'm finding that really hard. Is it wrong to spend a little to make days and times more fun?

I've had brief spells like this before, and have got out of them. Not this bad though.

RAS

befuddled000 wrote: »

Yes. Ridiculously they won't accept any of my OU modules (I am doing a named degree, not open!) as I went through ucas but they told me I'd have to start again!!

Hi

Is this becuase the subject that you want to study is professionally recognised (a lot of the PBs refuse to allow accreditation of prior learning) or is it that you have been studying Psychology and now want to do Business Studies??

befuddled000

RAS wrote: »

Hi

Is this becuase the subject that you want to study is professionally recognised (a lot of the PBs refuse to allow accreditation of prior learning) or is it that you have been studying Psychology and now want to do Business Studies??

My degree is business studies, but at OU we get certain "free choice modules. Level 1 is 1 x compulsory and 3 x optional (from a set list)

My local uni didn't like the optionals

RAS

befuddled000 wrote: »

My degree is business studies, but at OU we get certain "free choice modules. Level 1 is 1 x compulsory and 3 x optional (from a set list)

My local uni didn't like the optionals

OK

Have you only taken 120 credits so far?

Probably 4x30 credit units?

befuddled000

RAS wrote: »

OK

Have you only taken 120 credits so far?

Probably 4x30 credit units?

Yup that's right. Studying since last April.

dandelionclock30

I think it helps as well to try and concentrate as well on any positives even if they are small. I find thats often very helpfull as well as eating healthily and getting some exercize in the fresh air.These things have helped me when I have felt very low.

befuddled000

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

I think it helps as well to try and concentrate as well on any positives even if they are small. I find thats often very helpfull as well as eating healthily and getting some exercize in the fresh air.These things have helped me when I have felt very low.

To be honest, I feel better when I'm out of this house. But I don't know if that is the fault of the house or I've made some sort of stupid link.