Housing/neighbour issue

atrixblue.-MFR-.

esmerelda98 wrote: »

I love seeing and hearing children play too, just not in the street. Your opinion, no law against it, and no reason to justify not letting kids play in the street.


Don't make me out to be some curmudgeonly child-hater.
did that all by yourself


I am not.
could have fooled me.
I didn't and don't condone his manner but the unless her tenancy is at risk,
its not and never will be, even if rules are in place such as no ball games.


the OP has decided that the street is the place for her son to play the best place for a 9 year old is near home and in eye and earshot of mum or dad. some area don't have a park or play area, nearest one could be 2-3 miles away no way would my 10 year olds be going that far to play!.




regardless of any one else's feelings on the matter.
That's your feelings and judgment you have no right to tell people how they should think or feel on this subject matter your opinion differs from everyone elses!

It is a matter of fact that she has put her convenience above her neighbour's comfort, Were talking about a patch of grass where I assume kids normally play in this street, it safer to be in the street where they can be kept an eye on, I would say she has put her neighbors comfort above someone elses, infact the OP has curtious to her neghbors by structuring the times he plays outside thinking of people that are working nights etc. so no its no a matter of fact at all, again you being


I don't understand what is judgemental (What is that anyway? Expressing a negative opinion?) about saying that.
to answer that question its denoting an attitude in which judgments about other people's conduct are made.

There is nothing civilised about children playing in the street
yes there is! its how children interact and socialize make friends, develop skills.


. It is a cultural practice some adopt.
in every culture children play in streets ally gutters deserts, whats culture got to do with it?


Some may be motivated by small garden sizes and avoiding the inconvenience of making their way down to playing fields, parks or playgrounds, and some feel it's a relatively safe place for their children to play with others whilst still having a bit of peace in their own personal space.

The street is for people to come and go, perhaps interact and pass the time of day, so what your saying is the streets are for responsible adults not for children?


not go about with their heart in their mouths, worrying whether today is the day the football will hit their head (again) or they'll be knocked over by a child running at the speed of light. accidents happen your more likely to fall into a pothole than get struck in the head by a ball in the street. or an arrogent person just walking into you for the fun of it because you were in their path.




And we are all assuming it's just good-natured play. Children in groups often behave in ways they wouldn't individually, bad language, baiting those who dare to take them to task, taking over the street, as well as proper anti-social behaviour. Maybe not in this case, but it happens. typical language of a stereotype.

I'm not old or frail, and I don't use a walking stick, but I'd be wary if the children where I live took to using the streets as a playground. I've nursed many an elderly person who was coping well on their own, sometimes independently, before a fall. It's not just the physical healing they had to contend with, many totally lost their confidence and never returned home. It was sometimes hard to believe that the elderly person clinging to you for dear life because they are so afraid of falling again could have been coping alone just a short while before, so diminished have they become, in such a short space of time. This is something to consider with apparently curmudgeonly elderly busybodies.


If parents who put their children out to play would actually sit on the pavement and supervise them, they might not get such resentment building. children who behave do well to listen to times not to move form the front of the house, deserve to have some freedom, without being watched 24/7 he's 9 not 3.

We don't all think like you and share your opinion.

Gigervamp

Esmerelda, I take it you've not heard of Play Streets then?

RuthnJasper

esmerelda98 wrote: »

There might a gap between your neighbour's perception and reality on occasion, and he can express himself better, but I have no doubt your son and his football-playing chums are causing a nuisance to some of your neighbours. How can they turn the street into a playground without doing so, especially if it is not a car-less street? The noise and chaos moves from a relatively secluded back garden to the front of other people's homes (probably why some parents encourage it) and the front of a property is often more open than the back. Noise travels more easily, there is greater worry about broken windows, trespassing to retrieve balls and more risk in taking a walk down the road.

It is not your neighbour's fault that you are living in a home that is unsuitable for your needs. You could inconvenience yourself more and take your son to the park more often but you'd rather inconvenience your neighbour instead. There is also a lot of outside play your son can do that doesn't involve football. However with an entitled attitude you will only continue to experience aggravation.

That isn't fair. We aren't talking about a bunch of smackheads polluting the street with loud music and hassle, we're talking about children. Children playing. The OP's home is not unsuitable for her needs. Most streets have children and children have every right to play outside. I, for one, am glad to hear that here is a group of healthy little boys who are enjoying playing outside together, rather than festering indoors in front of the ubiquitous screen.

I'm not a parent, I'm a single woman in a Housing Association property. A lot of my neighbours have kids and they do play outside a lot. It doesn't bother me at all, it's normal.

My neighbour used to be a miserable gitwizard (not that old though). He would also shout profane abuse at children. As I was moving in (by myself) he stood and watched me struggling alone with my cardboard boxes and, by way of a greeting, said "You've got a dog. I hate dogs. It'd better not bark or there'll be trouble." Prat. Long gone now, thankfully.

OP, please don't worry. I strongly suspect that the LA are only coming to visit because they have an obligation to act on every complaint. I would imagine that they are aware of the man's behaviour. You come across as a decent person with a nice, normal child. The LA won't want to lose a tenant like you and you have plenty of evidence from the PCSO. I know how horrid this is and how stressful (I'd be stressed if it was me), but it'll be OK.

Best wishes. x

marisco_2

Just thought I'd ask how it is all going for you OP. Hope you and your son are doing okay and enjoying the summer holidays.

springdreams

I too am a single parent (with 2 university degrees). I am also the proud owner of a car I have worked hard to pay for as well as being a homeowner.

As such I dislike the neighbourhood children playing with footballs in the street, as I am constantly worried that their footballs will either hit my car (we do not have off street parking where I live) or my expensive double glazed windows. The majority of the children in my street live in council homes or housing association owned houses, and their parents are not well off (and neither am I). Their parents are therefore unlikely to be in a position to pay for any repairs to my car or windows that their children may cause.

I do not mind the children riding their scooters or bikes, or even climbing the tree outside my front gate, provided of course that they do not damage the tree, which they have been in the habit of tearing the branches and leafs off of.

It is only the playing with footballs that I dislike. There are 2 parks within 5 - 10 minutes walk of my house, so it is not as though these children could not play football in one of those parks.

DaveTheMus

esmerelda98 wrote: »

There might a gap between your neighbour's perception and reality on occasion, and he can express himself better, but I have no doubt your son and his football-playing chums are causing a nuisance to some of your neighbours. How can they turn the street into a playground without doing so, especially if it is not a car-less street? The noise and chaos moves from a relatively secluded back garden to the front of other people's homes (probably why some parents encourage it) and the front of a property is often more open than the back. Noise travels more easily, there is greater worry about broken windows, trespassing to retrieve balls and more risk in taking a walk down the road.

It is not your neighbour's fault that you are living in a home that is unsuitable for your needs. You could inconvenience yourself more and take your son to the park more often but you'd rather inconvenience your neighbour instead. There is also a lot of outside play your son can do that doesn't involve football. However with an entitled attitude you will only continue to experience aggravation.

And I thought I was a miserable ba5tard.....

RedBern

Sorry to hear you're having neighbour trouble. When we moved to our estate, the houses were only just being sold by those who'd bought them when they were built 30 years previously. There are green areas around the estate, and a number of our neighbours said how lovely it was to hear children playing in the street again, as theirs were all grown up.

However, the largest green on the estate, opposite my friend's house, adjoined a few bungalows, one of which housed an old lady who hated to hear the kids playing. My son had a new football for his 7th birthday, and the kids were all playing on the 'big green' and the ball went into her garden. When he knocked on the door to ask could he retrieve it she grabbed it and went back inside the house!! A few times previously this had happened, with other children/other footballs, but as it was our son's birthday present, he came home really upset. My OH was just about to go to see the lady when a policecar drew up, and out got a couple of policemen (it was 22 years ago!) He chatted about what had happened and took the kids (there were about 10 from the estate who'd been playing) back to the green. My son apologised and asked for his ball back, which she reluctantly handed over.

The policeman then told them to carry on playing. He told the lady they were a) not doing any harm; b) were entitled to play on the play areas; c) couldn't go down to the park as it wasn't safe to play down there; d) were to be allowed to retrieve the ball without disturbing her, but it was agreed they were to stop playing out at 7pm; He explained that if they were playing football, he knew there were a dozen kids he didn't need to worry were vandalising anything in town!

Although she didn’t like it, she was in the minority and accepted it. Now, as our children are grown up and some of the houses are being re-sold (nobody moves from here – you get carried out in a box generally) we are again hearing children (in some cases it’s grandchildren on a Sunday) and I now feel the same emotions as our neighbours who welcomed us all those years ago – it brings back lovely memories of our kids growing up.
Thankfully we had/have neighbours who appreciate that kids need to get out in the open air and socialise. Hopefully the HA will speak to your neighbour and he’ll leave you alone. Good luck.

duchy

With two university degrees I'd have expected you to know that a football hitting a decent double glazed window isn't going to do any damage.

As for your precious attitude about your car........if you are so concerned about leaving your car on the street perhaps you should have bought a home with a garage as street parking comes with lots of risks.

Oh and it is leaves not leafs..........Are you sure about those two degrees ?

As a parent yourself, where do your own children play?

springdreams wrote: »

I too am a single parent (with 2 university degrees). I am also the proud owner of a car I have worked hard to pay for as well as being a homeowner.

As such I dislike the neighbourhood children playing with footballs in the street, as I am constantly worried that their footballs will either hit my car (we do not have off street parking where I live) or my expensive double glazed windows. The majority of the children in my street live in council homes or housing association owned houses, and their parents are not well off (and neither am I). Their parents are therefore unlikely to be in a position to pay for any repairs to my car or windows that their children may cause.

I do not mind the children riding their scooters or bikes, or even climbing the tree outside my front gate, provided of course that they do not damage the tree, which they have been in the habit of tearing the branches and leafs off of.

It is only the playing with footballs that I dislike. There are 2 parks within 5 - 10 minutes walk of my house, so it is not as though these children could not play football in one of those parks.

Buzzybee90

duchy wrote: »

With two university degrees I'd have expected you to know that a football hitting a decent double glazed window isn't going to do any damage.

As for your precious attitude about your car........if you are so concerned about leaving your car on the street perhaps you should have bought a home with a garage as street parking comes with lots of risks.

Oh and it is leaves not leafs..........Are you sure about those two degrees ?

As a parent yourself, where do your own children play?

There is no need whatsoever for children to be playing in the road. In areas where people have big gardens there are those, in less privileged areas there are playing fields, parent need to not be so lazy.

jackyann

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

There is no need whatsoever for children to be playing in the road. In areas where people have big gardens there are those, in less privileged areas there are playing fields, parent need to not be so lazy.

I can only think you are winding people up! Or possibly you live in a sparsely populated area with low house prices and a local authority that values open space and play areas!
A lot of very expensive, new, houses, in areas of high density, don't have large gardens at all.
Very few areas have good accessible "playing fields" that are open to the public. A lot of parks with play equipment are quite small, and the few playing fields left are often fenced off and unavailable for general play.
In our area, the local council has community officers who will come out to deal with these kind of disputes, make sure that parents know the law, and children know where play is acceptable & safe.

Can I also add that sometimes in these situations, the elderly person is in the early stages of dementia? Very difficult to spot, but worth bearing in mind.