Housing/neighbour issue

fivetide

esmerelda98 wrote: »

. It is a matter of fact that she has put her convenience above her neighbour's comfort, I don't understand what is judgemental (What is that anyway? Expressing a negative opinion?) about saying that.

No it isn't.

That is your opinion and your judgement. From the OP's replies she has done anything but.

Top_Girl

esmerelda98 wrote: »

I love seeing and hearing children play too, just not in the street. Don't make me out to be some curmudgeonly child-hater. I am not. I didn't and don't condone his manner but the unless her tenancy is at risk, the OP has decided that the street is the place for her son to play regardless of any one else's feelings on the matter. It is a matter of fact that she has put her convenience above her neighbour's comfort, I don't understand what is judgemental (What is that anyway? Expressing a negative opinion?) about saying that.

There is nothing civilised about children playing in the street. It is a cultural practice some adopt. Some may be motivated by small garden sizes and avoiding the inconvenience of making their way down to playing fields, parks or playgrounds, and some feel it's a relatively safe place for their children to play with others whilst still having a bit of peace in their own personal space.

The street is for people to come and go, perhaps interact and pass the time of day, not go about with their heart in their mouths, worrying whether today is the day the football will hit their head (again) or they'll be knocked over by a child running at the speed of light. And we are all assuming it's just good-natured play. Children in groups often behave in ways they wouldn't individually, bad language, baiting those who dare to take them to task, taking over the street, as well as proper anti-social behaviour. Maybe not in this case, but it happens.

I'm not old or frail, and I don't use a walking stick, but I'd be wary if the children where I live took to using the streets as a playground. I've nursed many an elderly person who was coping well on their own, sometimes independently, before a fall. It's not just the physical healing they had to contend with, many totally lost their confidence and never returned home. It was sometimes hard to believe that the elderly person clinging to you for dear life because they are so afraid of falling again could have been coping alone just a short while before, so diminished have they become, in such a short space of time. This is something to consider with apparently curmudgeonly elderly busybodies. If parents who put their children out to play would actually sit on the pavement and supervise them, they might not get such resentment building.

One of the places, not the place. Try reading the thread.

Neighbour is not exactly frail at over six foot and a fair build on him, to be able to wield his stick at me repeatedly whilst advancing towards me in my own garden. When I objected, I was told it wasn't my garden, it was the LA's garden.

Furthermore, the proof that he is making false accusations against my son came when he accused him of kicking a football against his door repeatedly (over a massive hedge, because I'm raising the next Messi, apparently) when my son wasn't even in the same county!!

Top_Girl

esmerelda98 wrote: »

I'm not sure where you got the idea that I expect to live in silence, but don't let that stop your pointless tirade. I'm not very noise-sensitive, thank goodness. I do feel very sorry for those that are, however, not because of the children per se, because they just need guidance, but because of the parents these days who often create the little monsters that make the lives of others a misery.

Are you suggesting that you feel sorry for my monsterous son because he has a monsterous mother who lets him play out with his friends by our house?

esmerelda98

Top_Girl wrote: »

Are you suggesting that you feel sorry for my monsterous son because he has a monsterous mother who lets him play out with his friends by our house?

No, my posts, especially my second and third posts are considering the issue of children playing in the street generally, except where I make specific reference to you. Only you know whether your son behaves like a little monster when he plays in the street, that is if you supervise him so you have a true picture of how he and his chums play together. As I said, children in groups can behave very differently from how they do one-on-one. I feel sorry for people who are particularly sensitive to noise, as I said.

amus

esmerelda98 wrote: »

I'm not sure where you got the idea that I expect to live in silence, but don't let that stop your pointless tirade.

No more pointless than your own

Top_Girl

esmerelda98 wrote: »

No, my posts, especially my second and third posts are considering the issue of children playing in the street generally, except where I make specific reference to you. Only you know whether your son behaves like a little monster when he plays in the street, that is if you supervise him so you have a true picture of how he and his chums play together. As I said, children in groups can behave very differently from how they do one-on-one. I feel sorry for people who are particularly sensitive to noise, as I said.

I am often out on the front when my son is out. If I am not, my front windows are as wide open as they can be and I am in the front room, unless I need a comfort break. I am all too aware of the dangers of playing out but try and mitigate those with his need to socialise outside the home environment as he grows up.

I hear him asking for a pass or calling something a penalty and I have heard aforementioned neighbour kick off as well, so I'm sure I'd have heard if my child had been creating.

He knows the window is open and he knows what the consequences of bad behaviour would be.

Yet, as you have failed to address, the neighbour only ever creates about my child, not any of the children he plays with, even when he's not even here and his involvement is an impossibility. Last time, he was adamant he'd seen him through the window and spoken to him. Whether it's his own mental health issues or a grudge, it's completely unfair on my child to be victimised like this.

marisco_2

Top_Girl wrote: »

The irony being that I've worked since my son was 18 months old, been a single mother for four years and managed to pay for and obtain a degree in that time, whilst not only holding down a job, but being promoted twice. When my son is in high school, I intend to train as a teacher and had always hoped to eventually buy my house as we've generally been happy and well liked round here.

He inherited a bought council house from a relative and hasn't worked a day in the nine years I've been here.

I felt sorry for him when we first moved here and I used to make a point of passing the time of day with him if I saw him, knowing he had alienated everyone else and has no visitors. I was warned about him by other neighbours but decided to make my own judgements. I've made them now!

I remember some of your previous threads. I have found your strength of character, and determination to build a happy and secure future for yourself and you son so inspiring. Do go after your dream of becoming a teacher. The profession needs people like yourself who are so driven and understand children so well

Top_Girl

marisco wrote: »

I remember some of your previous threads. I have found your strength of character, and determination to build a happy and secure future for yourself and you son so inspiring. Do go after your dream of becoming a teacher. The profession needs people like yourself who are so driven and understand children so well

What a lovely thing to say, thank you.

I will, as soon as he is in high school, as things stand, I finish on time to pick him up and spend the afternoon/evening with him so it's a happy balance whilst he's in primary

maman

tomtontom wrote: »

But if your neighbour was posting this they would no doubt say they are not antisocial either! I am not saying either party is, with only one side of the story no one is in a position to make such a judgement.

I hardly think threatening and abusive language in the street is particularly sociable!


Just thought I'd come on and post a message of support TopGirl. Just think, it could be worse.....


esmerelda could be your neighbour on the other side!:rotfl:

Top_Girl

She could... Imagine the syns