Housing/neighbour issue

Top_Girl

Having a few problems with a neighbour and looking for some advice.

I reported him to the police and the ASBO team three months ago when he refused to leave my garden, swearing and waving his 'walking' stick threateningly because he claimed my son's football was deliberately kicked into his garden.

He regularly swears at and threatens the children playing in the street. He's paranoid and delusional; he has stood outside my garden before now swearing blind that my son has been kicking his football against his door, when my son has been on holiday with his father. He hasn't got a job or anything and never leaves his house, which I think exacerbates his issues.

My son and the other children in the street have been told by the PCSOs that they are fine to play football on the grass in the street as long as they aren't causing a nuisance. We don't live in the nicest of areas and I won't have him roaming the streets at 9 years old, the PCSOs in the area are absolutely hands on, they watch the boys playing football sometimes and have specifically said to me that my son and his friends are lovely boys who don't swear, carry on or cause trouble, they just want to play.

He came out last week and swore at them again, I was actually stood in my own front garden at the time watering the plants and my son and his friend were nowhere near his garden, but he claimed they were in his garden and he was going to get me evicted. This morning, I've come in from the library to a note from the local authority saying they want to speak to me about 'tenancy issues'.

I'm really worried as I can't afford to lose this house. It can only be this as I always pay my rent on time, keep my house neat and tidy and I'm not noisy or anything, I'm a single working mother who has just finished my degree, I don't have the energy to make a lot of noise

I take my son to the park regularly, to friends houses and to the usual theme parks etc but I can't afford to do this every single day and I can't expect a 9 year old to sit in the house, especially in this weather. The back garden isn't big enough for a football game and the front is a hill so unsuitable as well.

Just looking for some advice really. I will be absolutely honest with the housing people when they do come out, left them a message to call me back and make an appointment and I will be contacting the ASBO team again about his behaviour last week, I've not been home for any length of time since the last time he came out so have been unable to make an appointment with them.

fivetide

First thing to do, if you aren't already is start getting evidence to support your argument.

That means getting a notebook and making descriptions of dates and times when this happens and the truth. i.e. the incident when your son was on holiday or that PCSOs were in observation the whole time.

Feel free to film or record on your phone too if you can. Warn him that you are going to film him swearing at children and then carry on.

As you have the previous report you should be fine. Get the number for the PCSO too as they can back you up.

Guy sounds like a cantankerous old boy with nothing better to do. I take it he has no family visiting?

marisco_2

It is understandable that you feel worried and under alot of strain at the moment. Living next door to someone so rude and volatile must be horrible. Take the wise advice already given by fivetide. Taking that course of action, alongside having contacted the police and asbo team with your concerns, will prove you are doing all you can to stop the problem in a responsible way. See any meeting with the local authority as a positive. You can get your side of this situation across and ask for their assistance. I hope this gets resolved quickly.

esmerelda98

Top_Girl wrote: »

Having a few problems with a neighbour and looking for some advice.

I reported him to the police and the ASBO team three months ago when he refused to leave my garden, swearing and waving his 'walking' stick threateningly because he claimed my son's football was deliberately kicked into his garden.

He regularly swears at and threatens the children playing in the street. He's paranoid and delusional; he has stood outside my garden before now swearing blind that my son has been kicking his football against his door, when my son has been on holiday with his father. He hasn't got a job or anything and never leaves his house, which I think exacerbates his issues.

My son and the other children in the street have been told by the PCSOs that they are fine to play football on the grass in the street as long as they aren't causing a nuisance. We don't live in the nicest of areas and I won't have him roaming the streets at 9 years old, the PCSOs in the area are absolutely hands on, they watch the boys playing football sometimes and have specifically said to me that my son and his friends are lovely boys who don't swear, carry on or cause trouble, they just want to play.

He came out last week and swore at them again, I was actually stood in my own front garden at the time watering the plants and my son and his friend were nowhere near his garden, but he claimed they were in his garden and he was going to get me evicted. This morning, I've come in from the library to a note from the local authority saying they want to speak to me about 'tenancy issues'.

I'm really worried as I can't afford to lose this house. It can only be this as I always pay my rent on time, keep my house neat and tidy and I'm not noisy or anything, I'm a single working mother who has just finished my degree, I don't have the energy to make a lot of noise

I take my son to the park regularly, Clearly not regularly enoughto friends houses and to the usual theme parks etc but I can't afford to do this every single day and I can't expect a 9 year old to sit in the house, especially in this weather. The back garden isn't big enough for a football game and the front is a hill so unsuitable as well.

Just looking for some advice really. I will be absolutely honest with the housing people when they do come out, left them a message to call me back and make an appointment and I will be contacting the ASBO team again about his behaviour last week, I've not been home for any length of time since the last time he came out so have been unable to make an appointment with them.

There might a gap between your neighbour's perception and reality on occasion, and he can express himself better, but I have no doubt your son and his football-playing chums are causing a nuisance to some of your neighbours. How can they turn the street into a playground without doing so, especially if it is not a car-less street? The noise and chaos moves from a relatively secluded back garden to the front of other people's homes (probably why some parents encourage it) and the front of a property is often more open than the back. Noise travels more easily, there is greater worry about broken windows, trespassing to retrieve balls and more risk in taking a walk down the road.

It is not your neighbour's fault that you are living in a home that is unsuitable for your needs. You could inconvenience yourself more and take your son to the park more often but you'd rather inconvenience your neighbour instead. There is also a lot of outside play your son can do that doesn't involve football. However with an entitled attitude you will only continue to experience aggravation.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

esmerelda98 wrote: »

There might a gap between your neighbour's perception and reality on occasion, and he can express himself better, but I have no doubt your son and his football-playing chums are causing a nuisance to some of your neighbours. How can they turn the street into a playground without doing so, especially if it is not a car-less street? The noise and chaos moves from a relatively secluded back garden to the front of other people's homes (probably why some parents encourage it) and the front of a property is often more open than the back. Noise travels more easily, there is greater worry about broken windows, trespassing to retrieve balls and more risk in taking a walk down the road.

It is not your neighbour's fault that you are living in a home that is unsuitable for your needs. You could inconvenience yourself more and take your son to the park more often but you'd rather inconvenience your neighbour instead. There is also a lot of outside play your son can do that doesn't involve football. However with an entitled attitude you will only continue to experience aggravation.

What a bitter aspect to approach the OP from.


Even if the OP son is breaking a HA rule of no ball games in the street, its not legislation or LAW. HA's actually have a duty to provide play area's when they build an estate or HA complex, if this is not adequate enough (99% of the time it isn't as its to satisfy the planning department) then children playing ball games in the street is actually the result of failing to provide this adequate play area.
The OP and son is entitled by law not to be subject to verbal abuse and harassment, and also the OP neighbor would be subject to this in his tenancy agreement with the HA.


The neighbor is committing a public order offence, and breaching his tenancy. these are higher breaches than playing ball games in the street the HA has to respond to the neighbor with more seriousness.


OP my advice, contact your HA ASBO TEAM make an official complaint to your HA about your neighbor and request Diary logs. (in the mean time find a note book and pen note date times and brief description of the words your neioghbor is saying, you can record your neighbor without his permission in a public place, even if he did it form his windows record it if he is committing an offence even public order offence it can be used as evidence.


Your HA should write him a letter and if it carrys on regardless of warnings then he can be evicted using your evidence.

marisco_2

I cant help but feel esmerelda that your response to the OP was harsh and judgemental. Most people are happy to show tolerance toward local children playing in the street outside their home. It is all part and parcel of living in a civilised and friendly community. I love to hear the local kids playing and to see them having fun.

If I felt any concerns about their behaviour at any time, I would approach their parents in a calm and polite way and discuss it with them. It is a shame that the OPs neighbour chooses to handle things in such an unnecessarily aggressive manner. Issues get solved far quicker when you simply apply common sense and use manners, rather than speak rudely to others.

The OP comes across to me as a responsible, loving and caring mum, who I have no doubt is raising her child to be considerate and thoughtful. Not someone who has an entitled attitude and takes the stance of my son can do what he likes and to hell with the rest of them.

tomtontom

The phrase two sides to every story springs to mind - what the OP depicts as children being playful could to others be seen as inconsiderate parents allowing their children to cause a nuisance. I would agree with the advice to keep a record of any incidents, but would expect the HA to take a more balanced view before taking action and listen to both sides. Have done that, and no doubt hearing two very different stories, they may suggest mediation to see if some understanding and compromise can be reached.

growler834

I too think Esmerelda's post unacceptable. Did they never play in the street as a child or were they fortunate to have a huge garden? We lived in a terraced house with a postage stamp garden & all the children in our street played out - no neighbours ever complained because we were never a nuisance. We now have neighbour's children play outside our house as we live in a cul-de-sac & it's safe for them. Sometimes they become loud & boisterous but they never cause trouble - let them have the advantages of fresh air & exercise like previous generations were allowed to have.
Top Girl - I agree with all the advice already given. It's good that you already have your complaint to the ASBO team recorded as it will go some way to show your side of the story to the LA.

Top_Girl

My neighbour claiming my son is kicking a ball at his door when my son was over a hundred miles away is my negligent parenting and my son causing a nuisance then Esmeralda? Righto.

He was absolutely adamant it was my child on that occasion and regardless of whether my son is there or not, he is the one who gets the blame.

Thank you for your helpful advice everyone else, I have been diarising these events in detail, with lists of neighbours who have witnessed his tirades on the advice of both the police and ASBO team for weeks now and have just given the housing office copies of the diaries, with contact details for the same neighbours who have happily provided them as they are as sick of his behaviour as we are.

He isn't my direct next door neighbour thankfully, he is a few doors away, which makes it worse as my son only plays outside my house and the houses of the neighbours we know and get along with, whose kids play with mine.

These parents never get the abuse or harassment I have, I have been told that he is notorious for going after single mothers for imagined slights and that he loathes "council estate scum".

The gentleman at the one stop centre, where the housing office is based was happily a wonderfully helpful man and copied my diaries for me so that I could keep the originals, as well as letting me pop copies in the internal post to the ASBO team.

tomtontom

Given your last post it seems the playing out is not in itself the issue, it directly relates to your son. Could there have been an altercation in the past between them that you are not aware of, something that triggered these incidents? This is something the HA can speak to him about, and then bring you together to discuss how to get along better.

Top_Girl

tomtontom wrote: »

The phrase two sides to every story springs to mind - what the OP depicts as children being playful could to others be seen as inconsiderate parents allowing their children to cause a nuisance. I would agree with the advice to keep a record of any incidents, but would expect the HA to take a more balanced view before taking action and listen to both sides. Have done that, and no doubt hearing two very different stories, they may suggest mediation to see if some understanding and compromise can be reached.

They are playing football, with the full backing of every other neighbour I've spoken to and the local Police who have told me in no uncertain terms that they're not causing a nuisance, they don't swear, brawl, spit or enter into any of the antisocial behaviour that some kids round here sadly think is acceptable.

My son cried his heart out when the neighbour came out, stick swinging and using the vilest swear words out there as he simply isn't used to it.

I can assure you my family is not the antisocial party in these incidents.