* Breaking The Habit.... Hopefully.

edited 29 July 2014 at 11:16PM in Debt Free Diaries
145 replies 9.4K views
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  • in_need_of_directionin_need_of_direction Forumite
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    I had typed a long reply but it evaporated. Maybe that was for the best. I kinda was where you were work wise. In my last post I was so demoralised that I went to a previous employer who I knew to be a very honest person and asked if I could do my job. His reply gave me the encouragement to get another job. It does mean that I obsess a bit about refusing to let people undermine my capabilities. I'm also very hard on myself. What I was encouraged to do, and you may consider it, was to make a reverse to do list. Each day, at close of play make a list of what you've achieved. Periodically read it back to see what all you've done.

    Re the dog, could you volunteer at an animal shelter. It could give you a destresser.

    As for you being 35! At that age, I was a single parent of two, with approx £18k personal debt and a mortgage more than 5 times my salary. Things can and do turn around. You just need to hang in there and keep doing what you're doing. Someday soon you'll see those baby steps mount up.
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83:eek: today £39407.60 Offset fund today 5178.03 0
    Emergency fund £5.5/5.5k & £200/200 cash.:j
    Weight 24/02/19 14st 7lb now 12 st 9lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.:T
  • stewbystewby Forumite
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    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Had a big long discussion with my OH today which has ended a lot more positively that I had thought (should really give him more credit sometimes).

    You are entirely right INOD. I do not know what the future holds and OH said exactly the same thing.
    He has told me to ignore all these horrible feelings I am having and we shall stick to the game plan. We weren't going to look at adoption until we were married anyways so why, all of a sudden, has it become an urgent issue. It's still over three years away.

    I think the disasterous day at work, mixed in with the disasterous day off work had kinda left me feeling that I had nothing really going for me.
    Then I started thinking about dropping a shift or leaving work and thats when finances got involved which just made the whole situation look a lot worse.

    Top it off I then went and got some stupid bug which just wiped me out completely and I became some stupid emotional wreck (which is normal when I get a bug to be honest).
    :o

    Long story short... OH and INOD are right. We can't predict the future and we should just see where life takes us... and right now that is sitting at home, getting ready to play scrabble and hopefully winning.
    :undecided

    Debt is still kicking my !!! just now... but meh, I will just have to do my best at the "long game".
    ;)

    P.S: This revalation was also brought on by an article in the daily mail which was discussing older people adopting children so us being 40-odd might not be such a disaster after all.
    :)
    Mortgage: £0/£80,329.91
    Savings: £0/£6400
    :love:
  • Glad you're feeling a bit better. I think its this time of year the weather and 'New' stuff makes everyone feel a bit blergh and down when they evaluate everything.
    It’s not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren’t doing it.
    Sir Terry Pratchett
    Find my diary here

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5135113
  • stewbystewby Forumite
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    Hi there.

    So.... basically, I was reading through the debt-free thread and someone said something which kinda resonated with me.
    So OH and I are currently in discussions about having a joint account.
    It is very early stages...

    The plan is for each of us to pay in £900 a month (total would be £1800 a month).
    This should cover all our outgoings over the course of the year including insurances, loans, etc. As well as the mortgage and bills of course.
    :)

    As with everything, we are discussing this with my Dad (life lesson learned this week was that OH is not actually money-wise at all).
    :eek:

    Dad is wanting a full list of our outgoings to see if £900 is enough to pay for everything which is great for us as we keep forgetting stuff that we pay out.
    :o

    Feeling very positive today which is a good thing, although I have another three shifts to do starting from tomorrow. Fingers crossed it all goes well.
    Hugs.
    Mortgage: £0/£80,329.91
    Savings: £0/£6400
    :love:
  • stewbystewby Forumite
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    Erm... second times the charm but...

    I am now under £3000 on my credit card. I paid a bit more than £500 off this month but I had put on my dad's birthday present (a NTS membership) so my new grand total is:

    £2969.00!!!!!!!!
    :j

    Hoping that next month, I can pay a bit more off as council tax doesn't come off in February.
    In March we shall be using our new account so hopefully I will be able to find out how much I have leftover to use for credit card debt. The problem is that my pay varies so much due to shift allowances and stuff.
    My basic would be £1600 so once the £900 for the other account and my £400 budget account was taken off, I would only be left with £300 to use to pay off my credit card.
    So... definitely need to work extra and try and get some nightshifts and weekends. Anything to keep my money up.
    Problem is that pretty much everyone at work is kinda looking for the same thing (extra shifts, nights, etc).
    :undecided

    Feeling pretty dam good today (if I don't think about the issues at work). Finances are going pretty well. OH and I might actually be becoming mature and adulty.... maybe not.
    :rotfl:
    Mortgage: £0/£80,329.91
    Savings: £0/£6400
    :love:
  • stewbystewby Forumite
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    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    So.... the new bank account has been opened. Plan is to pay in £1800 (£900 each) and then pay out all bills from it. This now means that OH and I are now sharing the costs 50/50.

    Basically OH has decided that flying is no longer an option at the moment. I think his health was suffering each time he got rejected which was worrying me a lot. So we are sticking with IT for the foreseeable future which means we now needed to come together as a couple in relation to financial stuff.
    :)

    I have been struggling with the travel bug for a while now and have finally given in. By the 1st February we would have had £600 in the holiday pot.
    Well... we have been looking at going on holiday in April for a while and last night we found a trip to Rome for £630 so we have snapped it up.
    Really excited and cannot wait to start planning everything properly.
    This is the first holiday that we have (kinda) saved up for before buying it so it's a bit of a woah moment.
    :j
    Mortgage: £0/£80,329.91
    Savings: £0/£6400
    :love:
  • apple_muncherapple_muncher Forumite
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    Wow! Rome :j, £630 :j, already saved up for :j. Well done !
    NST Feb FIVES; NSD ; Ex

    MFWDate: very soonish. I hope...
  • stewbystewby Forumite
    1.2K Posts
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Wow... how pathetic. I haven't updated this for a month.
    :(

    So... the first of march is D-Day for us. We will now have our joint account so all bills will come off that. Hopefully leaving me with a bit extra to play with each month.
    :D

    So.... the NST challenge. Time to get March sorted out.

    * Plan to achieve 15 spend-free days.

    * Entertainment Budget = £40 (including £10 treat).
    * Food Budget = £120.
    * Petrol Budget = £40.

    * Xmas Pot = £31.
    * Holiday Pot = £100.
    * Secret Pot = £50.

    Decluttering = 0/31 (will do my best).
    Thanks to our new insulation thing, our heating usage has gone down. We will try and switch the heating off from 1st March.
    :)

    Current credit card debt = £3123.02
    However, I have paid for a years worth of house insurance and car insurance. So it could have been a lot less if they hadn't been required.
    :undecided
    Mortgage: £0/£80,329.91
    Savings: £0/£6400
    :love:
  • Glad you're ok stewby.

    Yay to reduced heating requirements. The credit card is very forgiveable if you ask me, insurance is a necessity and paying it annually is usually cheaper than monthly. :)
    It’s not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren’t doing it.
    Sir Terry Pratchett
    Find my diary here

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5135113
  • stewbystewby Forumite
    1.2K Posts
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    So... it started today. The dreaded diet.

    * Current Weight - 220lbs.
    * Goal Weight - 140lbs.

    The Goal:
    * Planned Loss - 80lbs.


    The Reason:
    There are several reasons to be honest.
    * OH's sister is getting married in August 2016 and I would like to look good in the pictures and to be more confident whilst I am there.
    * We are getting married in April 2018 and I would like to look, and more importantly feel, amazing. We have a lovely collage frame with a "us" shaped hole in the middle for our wedding photo. I don't want to have to look at a horrible picture for the rest of my life.
    * Embarrassingly I have a wee bit of a green eyed monster. My cousin (who I am very close with) has lost a heap of weight and she looks amazing. She has always had this wonderful body confidence (wore whatever she wanted and never worried about what other people said), and I have always felt a bit jealous. Now that she has lost the weight, she looks stunning and I want what she has.
    * I am beginning to have a sore back and knees (always had a knee problem) but I am not thinking that this is because I am overweight. I need to address this issue before other things start happening (such as diabetes and other health problems).

    :embarasse

    The Plan:
    * Aim is to lose 8lbs each month which means (if we remove December due to holiday/celebrations), the goal will be achieved by March 2016.
    * That gives me a year to get through this and all I have to do is lose 2lbs a week.
    * Plan is to increase the amount of exercise I am doing. Mainly by walking, OH has introduced me to a game which will hopefully make walking a little less dull.

    :o

    So... it seemed to work out well today. OH and I walked around our village today. Was a grand total of 3.34 miles according to googlemaps. Hooray!!
    :D

    Erm... basically this post is very diet orientated but that's because nothing has really happened money-wise. Except going food shopping.
    :undecided
    Mortgage: £0/£80,329.91
    Savings: £0/£6400
    :love:
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