Who knows ? In debt & suicidal, you are not alone, read on PLEASE

SOMam

Hello Divingmad and welcome to our little thread

I understand about the "we don't do illness" and I slogged away behind my mask of "everythings fine" for many many years....until I had a complete emotional breakdown during a meeting at my sons school.

My family situation was difficult in that although my family are extremely close, we do not actually meet up with each other often at all due to travel difficulties (lack of public transport in the area and living too far away to walk/cycle) and while phone conversations with them are great it isn't really a method of communication that makes admitting you have a problem easy.

But I was overwhelmed at amount of ways help in any form was available to me. Everywhere from my GP to my sons headmaster and every place in between provided help and support in one way or another including online.

Simply reading websites can be big help and I am a firm believer of the power of information. If I can understand something then I can deal with it, or be less anxious about it. Once I knew what it was I was going through I was able to start managing it. This is in no way a cure and for sure is not a replacement for professional help (GP's, Psychiatrists, Therapists, etc) But the information empowered me enough to ASK for the help I need.

These are the sites I used/still use/will continue to use

http://www.mind.org.uk/
http://elefriends.org.uk/
http://www.samaritans.org/
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/low-mood-stress-anxiety.aspx
http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/
http://www.rethink.org/
http://www.sane.org.uk/home
http://www.seemescotland.org.uk/
http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/
http://elefriends.org.uk/

I hope these site will be as helpful to you (and anyone else who need them) as they are for me

Please do keep us updated on how you are getting on and also to assure ourselves that you are ok.

All the best

Mam x

Kate_fixing_it

Bumping this thread.

I think LBMs are a bit seasonal. With summer now "out the way", children making a fresh start on the school year all over the media and Christmas starting to appear in the shops I think it highlights a new beginning for many and I know it was around this time last year my own realisation flickered into life.

If you are having the same feelings and reality is dawning don't despair. There is ALWAYS a way out. A year on and I'm living within my means, my debt is almost £6,000 smaller. Even if it had only been £6 smaller then at least I'm not in deeper and any progress is great.

Reach out - to anyone. There are dozens of links in the previous posts. There are multiple posts above of people that have been there and felt that way too and have shared their own experiences to prove you are not alone.

No matter how you feel no amount of money is worth quitting on life. Tomorrow could be the day you were meant to save a life, if you aren't here to do it what then? That kept me going in my darkest hours.

Make that call for help, it could change the world and it most certainly will change your world.

Kate x

Kate_fixing_it

Just one more quick note. I recently read this article. Everyone with depression experiences it slightly differently but for me this was a nail on the head read. My DH just doesn't "get it" so reading this helped him.

I'm currently recovering from a long drawn out physical injury but never in the last 16 months has it been as debilitating as when my mental health deteriorates. The saddest part of this "invisible" illness is that when it happens to me I don't even notice for weeks/months. Others around me do realise but don't like to speak up in case it upsets me so I end up feeling more isolated still.

As another poster has said, if you know and understand then you can fight it. (Although I don't think fight is really the right word here)

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5692649?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037&ir=Parents

If someone can write and publish an article about it we are certainly not in the minority and unequivocally not alone.

Kate x

Sazzie23

Thanks Kate and Mam for the great advice and links. I hope if you are reading this thread they may help you too.

If you are feeling alone, and think you can't face your debt, remember people like you have been here before you, it is solve able, don't give in, don't give up, join us here or phone Samaritans.

Sazzie23

I also think there is a seasonal aspect to LBM. Obviously Christmas is a big strain on finances but there seem to be other peaks which don't have an obvious cause. If you are wondering what to do, take heart, you're with friends

Sazzie23

Just bumping the thread as have come across a few desperate pleas this week and don't want anyone to slip through the net

Sazzie23

Just watching. Can't pay .....etc etc
Made me think maybe a few folk might need to come into the forums after watching that. Don't let it get so far, get help today.

joee

Thank you Sazzie23 for starting such an important thread, you are very inspirational.

I wanted to share my story here but I just want to add a quick warning as it maybe a little upsetting (I have kept stuff vague though).



My debt journey started when I was 18 and I got my first credit card and I was amazed that I had all of this “free money”, I used it to make me feel better as I was experiencing the aftermath of experiencing numerous violent attacks including rape and sexual assault. I spent a lot on it and was up to my limit within 18 months.

I fell in to the debt trap of using overdrafts, getting a personal loan and using pay day loans. I began to feel hopeless and horrible about myself – I made belittling thoughts about myself. I was contemplating, and if I am honest actually planning, my suicide.

I had a breakdown because of past events and the amount of debt that I was in. One day, I had what I can only describe as an epiphany. I joined the MSE forum where I found out about CCCS (now known as StepChange), I completed their online remedy tool and haven’t looked back since.

The staff at StepChange are wonderful people and have always spoken to me with respect and reassurance, I am 9 months away (my siggy is fully updated) from finishing my DMP. I am also making good progress on a mental health level

You may be feeling hopeless but I promise, as much as things look bleak right now that is how bright they will become

Lucy xx

Sazzie23

Aah Lucy thanks for sharing, I know it can help people to realise a - that they are not the only one and b- that there is somewhere to go for help

I was just reading about Stepchanges Need to sleep campaign

http://www.stepchange.org/needtosleep/index.html?dm_i=VD3,2TNUV,92K21A,A94N7,1.

They reckon 7.4million Uk people have money worries....and at the time it seems like it's just you ....

Sazzie23

I heard the other day of someone who had suicidal thoughts, not because they no longer wanted to live, but the because the life they had was unbearable, I really understood that and I suspect that is what money worries can do to you too. If you are reading this and feel suicidal

PLEASE CALL THE SAMARITANS NOW

it won't solve your problems, but sharing it does really help.