Who knows ? In debt & suicidal, you are not alone, read on PLEASE

Hopefuljoy

PPS it bleeped the B word, B***ering!

SOMam

Welcome to the thread Hopefuljoy and thank you for sharing your story.

I never shared my mental health status with my creditors as it was hard enough just trying to talk to them with my social anxiety without adding to the pressure but I am so glad to see that your creditors took it on board and worked with you! Such a positive experiance can only help others reading this thread!

Thank you so much for contributing!

Mam x

JAY_R_3

Reading these posts has been extremely helpful though I am sorry to hear of the anguish that so many have been/are going through.
I took the bold step of telling my close friend about the financial worries I have and just having another person listen (and not judge) helped me enormously. I was too embarrassed to talk about my situation with family and friends - it felt shameful. But as they say...little steps. Plus, her guidance and this site has helped me get my head out of the quick sand and start facing things.
So, thank you, guys on here, for posting with sincerity and making others realise they are not the only ones.

Sazzie23

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories, I'm sure lots will find it helpful.

Jay R I quoted your post on the DMP support thread as I thought it might be useful to some of the new DMPers. I'm glad you found someone to share with, I really do think it helps.

Sazzie23

There were 4500 views as of 24 Aug. I hope someone was helped

Please feel free to post here if you feel stuck.

Sazzie23

Seem to be quite a few DMPs starting and ending this month so it shows that light at the end of the tunnel can get brighter

Hopefuljoy

Hello and I hope everyone is well.

COIN - I read your posts for the first time today. I haven't tim to write at length now but I am doing some research today to find out about ways you can get your dog's walked during the day and not lose them. Please post to us all so we know you are okay. You have me worried that you haven't posted for a while.

I haven't got a dog but would like one eventually. I'd love to hear more about them if you want to tell us!

Will return later this afternoon folks. There is always a solution and together as a group we can achieve anything!

Hopefuljoy

Hello I'm back again. I have found a website https://www.borrowmydoggy.com which matches owners with borrowers and has all the insurances. If you have access to the internet COIN it might be worth a look. It does.cost an annual fee of fifty pounds which might be a brief challenge. However, if you contact a nice small local dog charity or paws and claws perhaps they might help with the cost.

I was trying to think of other practical suggestions. Here is a list for now.

https://www.cap.org christians against poverty (no preaching but masses of support and access to lots of other helpful people through them. I owe a great deal to their help at a very difficult time.

The benefits check up on the MSE website to see if you qualify for.any.allowances as a result of mental health issues.

If you are feeling suicidal please go to your doctor this week. We can and.do all feel for you but it sounds like you also need to seek some help. If they know the family history of suicide then they should refer you for help with the effects of your father's death.

IF THEY DO NOT HELP GO TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE UNTIL YOU HIT.THE RIGHT ONE!!

CRUSE is a bereavement charity which offer free help and advice about grief. They have joined with the Samaritans to create a special team dedicated to people like you who have suffered the suicide of a family member. They recognise that this is a special situation and that you need a different approach. From what I have heard they are excellent.

Finally for now COIN. You will get there. If you do not believe it yourself then just accept that we believe you will. You have already taken steps to get a full time.job, to sort out your finances, you are free of chemical dependency on drugs, smoking or alcohol and you are capable of love towards others. Some people never get as far as you have and I for one see you and every other person on this thread as a triumph.

Write to us everyday with one small thing you have done so we know you ate with us!

To everyone, take care, be kind to yourselves and have a good day. Xx

Divingmad

Hi readers,

I had to search this thread out as I had read it a while ago, and at the time of first reading, it was enlightening to read. And now feel that I have to make a posting. Some of this may be a bit jumbled, so please bear with me....

I have never been I had previously been diagnosed with depression or anxiety, I am from a strong headed silent family that don't do illness (If you wanted some hard graft doing, just call...but illness...nope, we don’t do that!) However, for almost 2 years I have been suffering from light and dark days lots and lots of them! Dark days were suicidal thoughts, on better days I just wanted to run away and disappear, and all because of being so far in debt, which seemed like a mountain to me. I drive over a high bridge on the way to work in the mornings, and have lost count of how many times I have nearly stopped and made a run to the railings.

I used to be so good with money, then after moving home a few times (purely because of work), those hard earned savings were slowly eaten away, to a point where I £16k in debt was constantly paying out money almost to the point of haemorrhaging it, everything needed fixing/replacing/paying.

My OH, although working part time, couldn't help as her parents are not in the best of health, and seeing as we live 200 miles away, she is having to make regular trips back to help them out, meaning I have been trying to make sure we can keep the bricks around us. And of course, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her how I was feeling every day. How even lifting my head off the pillow after another night of sleeplessness meant that daylight beckoned and here was another day of thinking of better, more imaginative ways to end the enduring cycle of debt that I was going through.

Well, after a chat with the bank, some re-financing and frantic saving, I managed to get myself on something resembling ‘on track’ . However, just about all that saving has gone (again), not fritted away, but gone on paying bills keeping us on the straight and narrow. Now, I should feel proud that I have used the money wisely....but those dark days and sleepless nights are starting again.....

Reading the thread has been beneficial in respect to knowing there’s someone who will listen, but picking that phone up and talking to someone....now that’s gonna be hard.

Sazzie23

Hi Diving

I feel there is a watery theme to your happiness maybe? love the Pelican quote, really made me smile.

It is really difficult to pick up the phone to talk someone, and you have made a great start coming back here and posting, I'm glad you stopped by. I'm not sure if you are going to call someone about your mental state or your finances, but either way there is alot you can do on-line if you prefer to and then when you feel more confident pick up the phone maybe?

I get impression that outgoings are exceeding incomings? You are not alone there either, there are alot of suggestions on the DFW SOA's if you have time to look through on how to cut costs, and my top tip is 'every little helps' cut every cost you can until you are back on track. Shop in Aldi, cut Sky TV, send letters second class or email ..etc..etc, if nothing else its empowering!

Come back and tel us how you are getting on & thanks for posting, I'm sure your 'don't do depression' resonates with many of us (including me).