Who knows ? In debt & suicidal, you are not alone, read on PLEASE

Sazzie23

Morning everyone,

I've got some instructions for posting the links but I need the laptop as I can't seem to make it work on the ipad.

So laters ...

SOMam

Bump!

Seen a few people around that may benefit from this thread

Hope everyone is well

Mam x

Sazzie23

SOMam wrote: »

Bump!

Seen a few people around that may benefit from this thread

Hope everyone is well

Mam x

Thanks SOMam

If you are reading this, please know you are not alone, reach out, there is help.

Sazzie23

Quick bump for the overnight worriers and warriors

Sazzie23

Bump for the morning worriers, can't believe I was just watching TV and didn't see any of the programme as I was so engrossed in MSE forums.

Sazzie23

Morning all, just another plug for the, please don't think you are doing this alone thread.

Sazzie23

I read today that over 1 in 5 people do not have anyone to call a close friend and also that over 100,000 families in the area I live don't have money to pay their bills.

Life can be very sad - if you are one of those having financial trouble and don't know where to turn, please take some action, contact Stepchange or National debtline.

Sazzie23

Sazzie23 wrote: »

I read today that over 1 in 5 people do not have anyone to call a close friend and also that over 100,000 families in the area I live don't have money to pay their bills.

Life can be very sad - if you are one of those having financial trouble and don't know where to turn, please take some action, contact Stepchange or National debtline.

Thinking the worst ? Remember you are unlikely to be the first person in your situation, talking it over may help.

Please call the Samaritans if you are suicidal.

CALL
08457 90 90 90

EMAIL
jo@samaritans.org


WRITE
Freepost RSRB-KKBY-CYJK, Chris, PO Box 90 90, Stirling, FK8 2SA

There is no shame in asking for help.

SOMam

My low mood yesterday morning reminded me that this thread needed a bump

Hopefuljoy

Dear Sazzie23 and following posters,

This thread caught my eye this morning and really moved me. I too have depression this time combined with Complex-PTSD. Somehow it never seems to arrive on its own does it? The good news is that as everyone else on this lovely thread has said, there IS A SOLUTION to everything you might be going through. The depression might always be there lurking but managing it and your life becomes easier and I have found it easier over the years.

I am a firm believer in antidepressent treatment if depression keeps coming back, if we were diabetic we would not hesitate to take insulin everyday to stop us dying. To me this is no different! They aren't addictive but feeling like a real human being is and I treasure every day where I used to dread the morning.

When I started on tablets I then moved on to the talking therapies like counselling because I was able to cope with the memories and feelings and make the most of the sessions. I'm in counselling again now as I'm able to face things that happened in my marriage and perhaps in a few years time I will go again. It's not something you necessarily do once and then leave forever - the counselling I mean, not the marriage! That is long gone!

Talking of which according to the latest research Domestic Abuse causes 20% of all female work absences. I was abused for fifteen years of marriage and can totally agree from personal experience. DA isn't just violence as bad as that is.

If you feel that you are scared of your partner, that you have to walk on eggshells, are financially controlled, hurt mentally, sexually, physically or isolated by them from friends and family then it is highly likely you are being abused.

They do not have to be doing all the above to be abusing you, it may be all or one. AND YOU CAN SURVIVE!!! Womensaid is particularly good and no-one will make you leave. It took me two years to go after I had contacted them and they never put pressure on me. I loved him and these things take time. Be kind to yourself. If you are a man being abused or in a same sex relationship all of the above still applies and Womensaid can point you to organisations tailored to your situation.

If you go online all these charities have a button on their website to cover your tracks and leave no history, their numbers will not show up on your phone bill either!!

On the theme of depression I found the MENTAL HEALTH AND DEBT booklet at the top of the MSE homepage really good. I have told my mortgage company and banks that I have depression and how it affects my handling of money. First Direct were particularly good! When I told them I was going on the CAP Money course (which is VERY GOOD and FREE) they suspended all bank charges and gave me an extra six months breathing space on my overdraft so I could clear it down without pressure. They also gave me a dedicated person to call in their special team for vulnerable customers. I have an agreement with them to never offer me loans or cards and if I ask for more than a £250 buffer on my account or ask for a loan they will involve the support team as a precaution. This was all at my request, they didn't tell me so I feel empowered!

Nationwide won't lend me any more money against my home unless my sister is involved in the application, again at my request, and I have a basic bank account with barclays for day to day cash. I guess the important thing is that I have put in place my own boundaries so I feel positive and adult. This is so important!!

I even told the library and now don't face any fines on books when my organisation slips!!

I just sharing these things in case they help anyone, not to seem bossy!

Words can't convey how much I admire everyone who has come on this thread and shared their stories. What strikes me along with your compassion and kindness is that you are all very strong and determined. Jobs are still being done, families are being raised, meals are being cooked and life is being lived against a tough background. You are AMAZING!!!

Winston Churchill had a wonderful phrase which I use a lot. KBO lads, KBO. Keep !!!!!!ing ON!! That's what I do every day, especially when its a bit of a slog and it's the only thing that works.

PS if you want a lovely kind thread I heartily recommend Greying Pilgrim!!