Going over the same ground..

victory

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Their partners honestly intend at the time to do these things and then 'stuff' (even if it is lack of interest), gets in the way and they never get done.

Not worth arguing about, just go on to Plan B.

What they were saying it is more frustration, more' oh jeez sure you are going to do such and such, promised such and such and has it happened? Has it heck:D:rotfl:

Plan B?

Georgiegirl256

victory wrote: »

Exactly but I guess the point is why offer, agree to it, say it is going to happen for it to never become reality? :

To appease somebody at that moment in time "yeah yeah I'll do it tomorrow/next week/whenever", to buy themselves some more time as it were. Or they genuinely intend to it and then forget or something more important crops up.

If it bothers the ladies that much then either to it themselves or get in hired help. I'm sure in the past they've probably promised something that hasn't materialised too.

victory

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I'm sure in the past they've probably promised something that hasn't materialised too.

Of course yes, I'm sure , no one is perfect:D

Errata

Looking at these 'problems' from another perspective: the women are indulging in bragging - my OH is useless, aren't I a saint for putting up with him.

victory

Errata wrote: »

Looking at these 'problems' from another perspective: the women are indulging in bragging - my OH is useless, aren't I a saint for putting up with him.

I'm sure they would want their husbands to deliver what was promised rather than indulge in bragging:)

Georgiegirl256

victory wrote: »

I'm sure they would want their husbands to deliver what was promised rather than indulge in bragging:)

Some women just like to have a good old moan....

seven-day-weekend

victory wrote: »

What they were saying it is more frustration, more' oh jeez sure you are going to do such and such, promised such and such and has it happened? Has it heck:D:rotfl:

Plan B?

....might be doing it yourself, getting someone else to do it, going on holiday with someone else, or just accepting it is unlikely to ever happen.

jetplane

victory wrote: »

So they were saying what does it take to sort it out, acceptance? lowering standards? don't ask in the first place, just do everything yourself? Never expect anything and never ask? don't bother asking, get someone in? what do you think?

So in my marriage there have been times when I have accepted some stuff, lowered my standards, either didn't ask in the first place, just did it myself or got someone in. I would not live in a relationship where I could never expect anything and never ask or where I felt I was repeatedly let down.

victory wrote: »

I think generally it is not eating away at every part of their marriages, just the odd eg I put on the first post that however long their marriages have been does not seem to have an answer:D

The answer lies somewhere between the expectation and the reality. Some stuff I do irritates my husband to the point he has to go into his garage to silently scream, and vice versa.

However over many years I have learnt what he will do happily and what he will not, what he will do the way I want it done and what he will do his way. If it is really that important to me I will do it myself.

Ultimately it is down to compromise or failing that, psychological manipulation

edit; My husband could have written this post as he would say that he has also done all of the above, knows what I will and wont do and there are times when he has surprised me with his powers of persuasion :cool:

missbiggles1

victory wrote: »

I guess the ladies have, it is just they were debating as to what is the point of all the false promises?

They're avoiding saying a straightforward no in an attempt to stop a row on the subject and for a quiet life. I'm female and it seems like a good strategy to me.

FBaby

well I told my husband that I really have an issue with false promises only a few weeks within our relationship (because I really have an issue with them!). Obviously didn't just blurt it out, came out of a general conversation that evolved around trust. Thankfully, he is the type of person who is true to his word so it's not an issue. Interestingly, he initially assumed that he would be the main decision maker of the household, which caused a bit of friction at time, but once i was able to prove to him that I was as capable as him to organise things, he is now not only happy to let me get on with it, but I think the balance has even shifted my way!

I think this trait is one that becomes apparent quite quickly in a relationship (at least soon after the honeymoon period), so if one decides not to tackling them, they can't really moan about it many years later!