Going over the same ground..

ameliarate

If I complain to my partner about him not doing things he says don't ask me, I never ask you to do anything - no I say because I do it before you know you need it to be done!

To some extent it is right to say it is not worth arguing over but if it is a regular occurrence then you have to learn ways in which you can "persuade" your OH to do things (blackmail, bribery, threats, whatever works).

StuC75

Very key point here, its about the expectation of when 'you' think that something should be done and what standards.

You've done things long before the OH felt it needed to be done, and when reversed you're wanting things done before the oh feels the need to - so its really down to standards and when is it really critical that its done , what has to be done ASAP, and what could really wait five that 4 minutes. What really is the right level of expectation, and when could they appear a little OCD's ish...

Often as a bloke, the more that you are asked to do something, the less inclined you may be, opting rather do at own pace..

ameliarate wrote: »

If I complain to my partner about him not doing things he says don't ask me, I never ask you to do anything - no I say because I do it before you know you need it to be done!

To some extent it is right to say it is not worth arguing over but if it is a regular occurrence then you have to learn ways in which you can "persuade" your OH to do things (blackmail, bribery, threats, whatever works).

ameliarate

StuC75 wrote: »

Very key point here, its about the expectation of when 'you' think that something should be done and what standards.

You've done things long before the OH felt it needed to be done, and when reversed you're wanting things done before the oh feels the need to - so its really down to standards and when is it really critical that its done , what has to be done ASAP, and what could really wait five that 4 minutes. What really is the right level of expectation, and when could they appear a little OCD's ish...

Often as a bloke, the more that you are asked to do something, the less inclined you may be, opting rather do at own pace..

It's about compromise, he knows that I am a bit OCD and want things done so if it won't hurt him to do it and it will make me happy then why not just get on with it? It's no good expecting me to give him a lift to the pub twice a week if he won't fix the shelf in the bathroom.

Gloomendoom

StuC75 wrote: »

Often as a bloke, the more that you are asked to do something, the less inclined you may be, opting rather do at own pace..

I would also add that inclination also tends to evaporate when, having completed a job, whether asked or not, said job is then very obviously redone because it wasn't done well enough the first time.

Gra76

OP appears to be describing women who sound as bad as their OH's when it comes to actually doing things. Non of the things described were 'problems' the women couldn't have done themselves or arranged to do with their OH's....

VestanPance

Gra76 wrote: »

OP appears to be describing women who sound as bad as their OH's when it comes to actually doing things. Non of the things described were 'problems' the women couldn't have done themselves or arranged to do with their OH's....

Don't be silly. Don't you it's physically impossible to paint a wall without a penis!

Georgiegirl256

VestanPance wrote: »

Don't be silly. Don't you it's physically impossible to paint a wall without a penis!

Most people just tend to use a roller!

I'm the one who does most of the painting in our house because I enjoy it and find it therapeutic.

victory

VestanPance wrote: »

Don't be silly. Don't you it's physically impossible to paint a wall without a penis!

I like painting and do not have a penis:rotfl:

victory

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I would also add that inclination also tends to evaporate when, having completed a job, whether asked or not, said job is then very obviously redone because it wasn't done well enough the first time.

Oh :o I am sometimes guilty of that, not saying I can do it better but sometimes it is not done how I would have done it so re do it:o

Then again I painted our dining room is a beautiful soft yellow paint and OH was not liking it one bit and wanted to re-do asap, he was persuaded to leave it for a while and see if he got to like it, he has left it, he maybe not 100% hand on heart likes it but it is not worth re-doing when it does look lovely.

Yes yes yes should have done it myself in the first place lol

ska_lover

Interesting thread Victory

I think somehow, as women, some make a rod for our own back with this...no no no, hear me out lol

We ask our man to do something, and he doesn't do it, so we nag at him. By doing this nagging, (he feels that) we are belittling his almighty ego and mother him, he is MAN grrr (thats just to emphasise the manliness) and wants to be seen to me making his descisions in his own sweet time - not being told what to do by anyone.

So, we treat him like a child, and then what do we do? Moan when he acts in the exact role we have placed him. No, he won't pick up his clothes, cos we treat him like a child....so they are fulfilling the role we are creating. Its psychology and nagging just creates and endless circle of unhappiness

I never ask mine to do anything - I would not be impressed if he asked me to do something, he is not the boss of me! - that is how I would feel lol - I would tell him to fek right off if he demanded I do a specific task within a specific time frame...

Try the power of suggestion - ''shall we do the lawn this weekend'' - and then back away from the situation.

If all else fails - There is nothing that makes a mans balls shrink faster than a woman about to handle a ''manly job'' - try it - pull out the lawnmower and he will appear by your side faster than you can imagine.