We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
Going over the same ground..
victory
Posts: 16,188 Forumite
We were talking at work about marriage, partners, relationships and it seems that some issues within marriage, partnerships, never get resolved and whether to just live with them, compromise, give up or just accept it.
Like one woman had bought paint for the dining room, her husband had said he would do it and was still waiting after 2 years for her OH to get around to it, when it was brought up again he would always agree, understand, reason it out, seem keen and on board but at the end of the day never actually painted:D sure she could have done it but everytime she suggested anything he got sort of defensive and told her he would do it.
One lady had been told by her husband they would get the time off work and go together on holiday 3 summers ago, she is still waiting to go. Everytime she goes to book along comes an issue why they can't go on that date, that time, etc.
Or the other lady that always asked for his clothes to be brought down and put in the washing machine and he agreed but never got around to it, or the husband who promised to take her out but never got round to it or the lady who suggested getting in a gardener met with outcries of no no no I will do it but never did.:D
They were saying that no amount of talking, reaching an understanding, hoping that it had finally sunk in it never seemed to change the actual outcome and it was it going to be a case of put up and shut up.
So they were saying what does it take to sort it out, acceptance? lowering standards? don't ask in the first place, just do everything yourself? Never expect anything and never ask? don't bother asking, get someone in? what do you think?
Like one woman had bought paint for the dining room, her husband had said he would do it and was still waiting after 2 years for her OH to get around to it, when it was brought up again he would always agree, understand, reason it out, seem keen and on board but at the end of the day never actually painted:D sure she could have done it but everytime she suggested anything he got sort of defensive and told her he would do it.
One lady had been told by her husband they would get the time off work and go together on holiday 3 summers ago, she is still waiting to go. Everytime she goes to book along comes an issue why they can't go on that date, that time, etc.
Or the other lady that always asked for his clothes to be brought down and put in the washing machine and he agreed but never got around to it, or the husband who promised to take her out but never got round to it or the lady who suggested getting in a gardener met with outcries of no no no I will do it but never did.:D
They were saying that no amount of talking, reaching an understanding, hoping that it had finally sunk in it never seemed to change the actual outcome and it was it going to be a case of put up and shut up.
So they were saying what does it take to sort it out, acceptance? lowering standards? don't ask in the first place, just do everything yourself? Never expect anything and never ask? don't bother asking, get someone in? what do you think?
0
Comments
-
1, paint the room herself
2, book holiday and go on her own
3, leave clothes on floor, he will run out of clean one
4, just hire a gardener dont ask him
Simple's0 -
Sometimes you just have to accept that someone doesn't really want to do something, regardless of what noises they make. Life's too short to worry about all this sort of thing in a marriage - let it go.0
-
1, paint the room herself
2, book holiday and go on her own
3, leave clothes on floor, he will run out of clean one
4, just hire a gardener dont ask him
Simple's
Exactly but I guess the point is why offer, agree to it, say it is going to happen for it to never become reality? Sure as said all can be done oneself but does that not make it a single's marriage?:rotfl::rotfl:0 -
missbiggles1 wrote: »Sometimes you just have to accept that someone doesn't really want to do something, regardless of what noises they make. Life's too short to worry about all this sort of thing in a marriage - let it go.
I guess the ladies have, it is just they were debating as to what is the point of all the false promises?0 -
Depends how much the 'thing' bothers you, I agree with the previous posters the only way to resolve it is to either do it yourself or let it go. Unless it is like this in every aspect of the relationship of course and then just let him go instead
The most potent weapon of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed. Steve Biko0 -
Depends how much the 'thing' bothers you, I agree with the previous posters the only way to resolve it is to either do it yourself or let it go. Unless it is like this in every aspect of the relationship of course and then just let him go instead
None of them bother me because they were theirs at work, not mine included in the bother me if you get me:D I can see their point though and that is why thought it was worth posting for a debate about it, they are rightly or wrongly frustrated with all the yh yh yh doing it, were going on hol, this will happen, we will etc etc for it all to not happen:D
I think generally it is not eating away at every part of their marriages, just the odd eg I put on the first post that however long their marriages have been does not seem to have an answer:D0 -
Exactly but I guess the point is why offer, agree to it, say it is going to happen for it to never become reality? Sure as said all can be done oneself but does that not make it a single's marriage?:rotfl::rotfl:I guess the ladies have, it is just they were debating as to what is the point of all the false promises?
It would make it a singles marriage if one only person did everything, hence why it would be easier to let them go.
We all make promises that we will do something and probably mean it at the time and then don't do it. The most potent weapon of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed. Steve Biko0 -
Set an agreed date for x, y or z and if it doesn't happen DIY!.................
....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)0 -
I guess the ladies have, it is just they were debating as to what is the point of all the false promises?
Their partners honestly intend at the time to do these things and then 'stuff' (even if it is lack of interest), gets in the way and they never get done.
Not worth arguing about, just go on to Plan B.(AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0 -
It would make it a singles marriage if one only person did everything, hence why it would be easier to let them go. We all make promises that we will do something and probably mean it at the time and then don't do it.
True and I should really say it happens from man to woman, man to man, woman to woman to cover every single relationship angle so it is not man bashing:D but at work the people I was talking about were all woman about their husbands and their relationships0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply
Categories
- All Categories
- 352.1K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 454.2K Spending & Discounts
- 245.1K Work, Benefits & Business
- 600.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 177.5K Life & Family
- 258.9K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards