Would you invest in a relationship where yr partner refused to pay for meals outside

Georgiegirl256

jaylee3 wrote: »

Oh look, ANOTHER 'new poster,' who sought out a money saving website to seek advice about a random relationship issue that they supposedly have.

I am literally not going to bother.

I don't always see eye to eye with you jaylee, but on this I agree with you!

My first thought was here we go again....

Hermia

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I don't always see eye to eye with you jaylee, but on this I agree with you!

My first thought was here we go again....

Wasn't there a poster recently whose partner lived off their savings and read books all day because he thought he was too clever for university/work?

It's odd how so many lovely people have trouble finding love, yet there are so many total weirdos in the world who have no problem finding someone!

mgdavid

bloke perspective - he sounds like a complete loser, so lose him...

Anatidaephobia

If this had been a long term relationship then my advice would be different because that would be more of a partnership. But if the situation is simply that you are considering dating this guy but put off because he doesn't want to pay for dinner... well, tbh, what he spends his money on isn't really any of your business at this stage. When you're dating anybody, the aim is to choose an activity/event that will suit you both, so choose something else that suits you both. If you like to go out for dinner a lot, you can go with someone else or you can treat this guy. It's your choice but it's not really a dilemma.

Pennyyes

Anatidaephobia wrote: »

If this had been a long term relationship then my advice would be different because that would be more of a partnership. But if the situation is simply that you are considering dating this guy but put off because he doesn't want to pay for dinner... well, tbh, what he spends his money on isn't really any of your business at this stage. When you're dating anybody, the aim is to choose an activity/event that will suit you both, so choose something else that suits you both. If you like to go out for dinner a lot, you can go with someone else or you can treat this guy. It's your choice but it's not really a dilemma.

My worry is that already I feel constrained about things we can do.... he only really likes to do free things and walk everywhere.... He walked from Peckham to Oxford St once to save on bus fare. I don't have time to be doing that.... He doesn't seem to understand that for me doing free things = time = my money because I am too tired to work on my projects.

Anatidaephobia

Pennyyes wrote: »

My worry is that already I feel constrained about things we can do.... he only really likes to do free things and walk everywhere.... He walked from Peckham to Oxford St once to save on bus fare. I don't have time to be doing that.... He doesn't seem to understand that for me doing free things = time = my money because I am too tired to work on my projects.

That could apply to all time spent with him, regardless of whether it's walking together or having a dinner date. From the sounds of it, his concerns are with his own money so why would he object to you paying for your own public transport. Has he actually told you that he would expect you to walk everywhere when you go out together?

Why do you want to date him at all if you have such opposing views?

Confusedandneedhelp

Hermia wrote: »

Wasn't there a poster recently whose partner lived off their savings and read books all day because he thought he was too clever for university/work?

It's odd how so many lovely people have trouble finding love, yet there are so many total weirdos in the world who have no problem finding someone!

Yep the 'would this annoy you' thread, which has since been deleted

Either the OP kicked him out and this is a new victim, or the op is back wanting a different znswer

liney

Pennyyes wrote: »

... a guy who refused to go out to eat dinner or go to the cinema because he didn't want to pay for himself let alone treat you?

*Guy doesn't want to work, and is living off his savings. He wants to stay at home self-teaching (English Lit) most of the day. Will spend money on concerts or plays (£5). He hasn't really changed his clothing style since he was a teenager (baggy jeans and hoody). I don't really care how a person dresses, I just mention it because he is generally quite set in his ways (he's in his early 30s now).

Has said he will "treat" his partner to come and watch the play or concert with him and suggests she do the same for events she wants to go to with him (however she enjoys eating out every week so that would involve her spending money on him more often).

What do you think?

So he refuses to work, and refuses to 'date' his date?

I'd think that he's obviously 'not that into me,' and find a man who was.

FBaby

So you're not compatible! You enjoy different things and have different values about money. He wants to spend as little as possible, which makes sense if you don't want to work and live off your savings. It is obvious that such a person will only spend as little as possible on things they enjoy.

I personally would think troll because the above is so obvious, you shouldn't need to come to post to ask what other people think. Dump him and look for someone else you're compatible with, what else can anyone say?

surveyqueenuk

OP, why not take a look at this interesting thread...

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5005565

She seems to have a lot in common with you.....