Strange undies found!

StuC75

or 3 does the OH like to Dress?

Is the 6 months benefit of the doubt tied in with how long have been with the OH..was it at his place?

Bettie

lotty41 wrote: »

Hoping this is appropriate for this site.Really dont know where to go with this one but would like some opinions please, this is driving me insane.

So I go away for one night. The morning after I came home I changed the bed linen. I pulled out the duvet from its cover (sheet still on at this point) I threw it on the floor. I then started to button up the duvet cover before putting it in the washing mashine. As I was doing this I discovered a pair of ladies undies in the bed, my immediate reaction was OMG!! as I didn't think they belonged to me.

So there is only 2 different reasons why they would appear. First is that they got tangled up in the duvet cover in the washing machine and 2nd someone else has been in my bed!!

If I was to go with the 1st reason then they must have been in the duvet cover for a very long time for me not to remember them and why would they appear after Ive been away for a night. I have used this duvet cover many times before and they haven't fallen out before.

Now is this just bad timing, could they have been stuck in there for so long, I would estimate at least over 6 months!

Shoud I give him the benefit of the doubt!!

Have no other evidence of cheating but I can hear people saying how much evidence do you need!!

Could be a huge coincidence right???

Look for thread The black knicker mystery in "The Arms"
Seems these knickers pop up now and again. Were yours black too?

Grumpypoo

I know the easiest assumption to make is that someone has been in your bed but there are some alternatives.
1. OH experimenting with cross dressing while you were away.
2. A cat - even if not yours bringing it in through an open window (unlikely but possible)
3. Launderette mix up.

** This is something I have heard of first hand. Let's call her Jane was trying to get it on with Bob, but he was faithful to his girlfriend Betty. Once she turned up at Bob's house when Betty was away, Bob turned her down, but out of spite, Jane stuffed a pair of pants down the sofa behind a cushion for Betty to later find (man unlikely to straighten sofa cushions) and stir up trouble in their relationship.
Say someone came round to the house, 'Oh can I nip upstairs to the loo?' Stash the pants. Mischief managed.

lotty41

Ok, well I did speak to him that night, he was watching the football, which doesn't mean jack.
This prob means nothing but thought it was a bit strange that he hadn't used the laptop, usually he would look at some old rubbish amazon and the like, I checked history and nothing there, unless he had cleared it off.
Were they clean, well I'm not sure, you know when you are in shock, I think the brain was smelling unclean, not sure but they didn't smell of any frangrance.
Going by my immediate reaction they are not mine, but I keep looking at them and think I'm trying to convince myself they are. They are my size and something I would wear, but I must of have at least 60 pairs and I'm sure I would know even if it was a year later!!
Its just the timing thats doing my head in, of all the days for them to apparently come of the duvet cover it had to be the day after I got back from a night away!
He even said he hasn't seen them before, well he would I guess. And there no way they could be anyone else's.
6 months was being generous, it could be even a year if they were mine, lived in this house for 9 months and defo not worn them in that time.

I know you can't answer this for me, just need to get it out!!
I keep switching to believing him and then not!!

The timing was unbelievable!!

Confusedandneedhelp

lotty41 wrote: »

Ok, well I did speak to him that night, he was watching the football, which doesn't mean jack.
This prob means nothing but thought it was a bit strange that he hadn't used the laptop, usually he would look at some old rubbish amazon and the like, I checked history and nothing there, unless he had cleared it off.
Were they clean, well I'm not sure, you know when you are in shock, I think the brain was smelling unclean, not sure but they didn't smell of any frangrance.
Going by my immediate reaction they are not mine, but I keep looking at them and think I'm trying to convince myself they are. They are my size and something I would wear, but I must of have at least 60 pairs and I'm sure I would know even if it was a year later!!
Its just the timing thats doing my head in, of all the days for them to apparently come of the duvet cover it had to be the day after I got back from a night away!
He even said he hasn't seen them before, well he would I guess. And there no way they could be anyone else's.
6 months was being generous, it could be even a year if they were mine, lived in this house for 9 months and defo not worn them in that time.

I know you can't answer this for me, just need to get it out!!
I keep switching to believing him and then not!!

The timing was unbelievable!!

Lets try a logic test - hypothetically your OH cheated, would these undies really end up stuffed in the duvet, and not on the floor? Would his 'mistress' then simply abandon the search for them? Would he, so that you were to later find them?

Also not been on the laptop? So what?

a: maybe he looked at some adult material whilst you were away and cleared the history - presumebly not the end of the world, id defy 99 out of 100 men in relations in that situation to say, never done that.

b: maybe he chilled out, bit of space to himself, didnt want to go on the laptop (as thats what he does when you are there) and had a beer, watched some telly, maybe ordered a takeaway.

Go through the logical steps:
1: you have never doubted him before?
2: you spoke to him on the night
3: these were stuffed inside the duvet, not on the floor, not under the bed, not down the side.

Im not saying yes or no, i dont know obviously, but i wouldnt jump the gun

Tropez

tea_lover wrote: »

I would recognise all of my own underwear.. even if I hadn't seen it for a while. If any of it had been missing for months I'd probably have wondered where it had gone before now.

You know these pants aren't yours.

Really? Because I wouldn't always recognise mine.

Anyway, OP, let's say somebody has been in your bed. Would they really leave without their underwear? Even if we assume that they brought a change, it's really sloppy thinking for them to just leave them in the bed. They could be that dumb, I suppose, but it's a very schoolkid mistake to make.

And we can say you'll recognise your own underwear, all of it, no matter how old (I'll assume women pay way more attention to that than men do), maybe he is a crossdresser on the sly, or maybe he has a fetish for women's underwear and bought a pair, had his moment with it, fell asleep in an orgasmic stupor and then made the mistake of not clearing away the evidence? Another unlikely option is that he had some friends over and one of them decided it would be oh so hilarious to leave a pair of panties in the bed.

But of course, if they are definitely not yours, well then the more likely explanation isn't the cross-dressing, panties fetish or jackbum friends.... so you'll have to ask him, because it will eat away at you. The thing is though, if there is some explanation, either one that is embarrassing to him, or if he genuinely doesn't know where those panties came from, it might be the case he gets extremely flustered and looks as if he's hiding something big.

lotty41

I did think he would have checked bed, so yes I thought they could have been left there on purpose.

Another thing that plays on my mind is that he never checks his email at home on the laptop, he always uses his phone. We had a convo about this, he said he would use the lap top if it made me feel better but according to the history on laptop he hasn't checked his emails for 3 weeks, which tells me he is still using his phone, out of the house also, never ever checks when home!!! But then again he gave me his password!

tea_lover

Tropez wrote: »

Really? Because I wouldn't always recognise mine.

Absolutely. All of mine matches and I'd have spent ages wondering why I now had a bra that nothing matched.

stebiz

lotty41 wrote: »

I did think he would have checked bed, so yes I thought they could have been left there on purpose.

Another thing that plays on my mind is that he never checks his email at home on the laptop, he always uses his phone. We had a convo about this, he said he would use the lap top if it made me feel better but according to the history on laptop he hasn't checked his emails for 3 weeks, which tells me he is still using his phone, out of the house also, never ever checks when home!!! But then again he gave me his password!

Sounds like a big TRUST issue going on to me. I leave my laptop, phone, mail, accounts - basically anything for all my family to see. Got nothing to hide. Hasn't even occurred to me not too.

tomtontom

lotty41 wrote: »

I did think he would have checked bed, so yes I thought they could have been left there on purpose.

Another thing that plays on my mind is that he never checks his email at home on the laptop, he always uses his phone. We had a convo about this, he said he would use the lap top if it made me feel better but according to the history on laptop he hasn't checked his emails for 3 weeks, which tells me he is still using his phone, out of the house also, never ever checks when home!!! But then again he gave me his password!

Given all the checking you are doing, I sense there is more to this than a random pair of knickers.