New here - please help :-(

Frith

Well, yes - although their reply might be some time with the postal strike.

Warm Front (or whoever they are using) have left a message today and they want to come round on the ONLY DAY OF 2007 when I can't be here!!! Mum and Dad are going to Devon so I will be staying there for one night.


Also.... phoned about my will and that was supposed to be coming "the next day" 3 weeks ago.... and am waiting for my final, final legal aid bill so I can see what's going on with that.


Got to go next door now to borrow matches to light the fire as my box seems to have been misappropriated by 2 small sons, which is a bit scary....

Liz

RAS

ACEY wrote: »

I phoned my bank and they said the standing order paperwork reached them too late to pay it in September. It is however, all go for October.

I phoned MCS for a 2nd time to say I had been in touch with the bank. Really odd - this time, they picked up and said, "Oh, Mrs X - you phoned earlier - just ignore the letter we sent you - bye now". I was left going "but... the bank... September..." and she was still saying, "Our mistake, disregard it" then hung up!

Hi I was just going to message you that since you were only sent the paperwork on September 22, it wouyld have been too late for that month.

What you have now is another piece of evidence of haressment and failure to take into account your dire circumstances. And they have realised it too.

RAS

ACEY wrote: »

Well, yes - although their reply might be some time with the postal strike. Great

Warm Front (or whoever they are using) have left a message today and they want to come round on the ONLY DAY OF 2007 when I can't be here!!! Mum and Dad are going to Devon so I will be staying there for one night. Just ring and explain and ask for an alternative date. Unlike some people, they think you are a customer not something to knock around.

Also.... phoned about my will and that was supposed to be coming "the next day" 3 weeks ago....

Good have you made arrangments that ensure that ex cannot get his mitts on any pension, the house or any other money. And appointed guardians for the boys? if nothing else that someone other than him holds all the estate in trust for the boys, preferably two people.

It may not stop ex getting custody, but it might ensure that there is money to keep the boys rather than it being squandered.

and am waiting for my final, final legal aid bill so I can see what's going on with that. Yuck! Are you now getting legal aid?

Got to go next door now to borrow matches to light the fire as my box seems to have been misappropriated by 2 small sons, which is a bit scary.... Very- I know that we used to sneak matches off our friends' mum and have illicit barbeques/campfires when we were 6-8 years old. Burnt but half raw sausages.

But maybe you need to keep the matches somewhere else to stop them getting them, particularly the little one, and with winter coming the risk that they light them indoors.

RAS

ACEY wrote: »

RAS - they sound so SURE about the £80 on the phone!! Is there any way I wouldn't be entitled to the full amount?

Debt doctor seemed pretty sure. Don't ask, don't get.

Frith

Re: the will - would all that be clear in one of those DIY will kits? When I got the decree absolute, it said something like "any previous will is still valid, but it will be like you were never married".

Which is half the battle! But, as you say, the money from the house would need to be organised by someone who is not a crook....

Liz

P.S The cat could have knocked the matches somewhere since she has sent everything else flying today!

RAS

ACEY wrote: »

Re: the will - would all that be clear in one of those DIY will kits? But, as you say, the money from the house would need to be organised by someone who is not a crook....

ACEY - if you have kids and a divorce do not use a DIY kit, although it would be OK for an emergency (better than nothing). If you leave everything to the kids, and he got custody, then he can spend the lot. There is a free will making week every year. Will try to find out when (the solicitors hope you will make them executor).

In the mean-time can you talk to you folks and your sibs and see who would be prepared to look after the kids and deal with the money side of things if the worst happened.

Given how frightful the conditions of your divorce settlement are, you need to write in things like preventing him from living in the house, and putting the estate into trust. My mother appointed one of her sisters to look after us and wrote the will so that everything had to be sold and the money was in trust for us kids and Dad could not get his mitts on it. She also had a serious insurance policy but you do not have the brass for that at the moment.

ACEY wrote: »

When I got the decree absolute, it said something like "any previous will is still valid, but it will be like you were never married".

In one case I know, the husband was killed in an accident days before the divorce was made absolute, and his very soon to be ex got the whole estate. You are passed that, but you should make a new will on marriage, with advent of first child and on divorce.

Frith

There doesn't seem to be any way round his looking after the boys, if I died :-(

At the moment, his sole aim in life is still to be a volunteer at the school where I have been working (voluntarily)....

Liz

RAS

ACEY wrote: »

There doesn't seem to be any way round his looking after the boys, if I died :-(

At the moment, his sole aim in life is still to be a volunteer at the school where I have been working (voluntarily)....

ACEY

Did you have to do a CRB check when you started volunteering?

And this is really hard but this is why I said you needed to take the kids to A&E or the docors everytime there was a bruise etc. Chev was also worrried for you when the little one got burned. You must make sure there are records of this.

And then you can "mention" it to your head teacher. if you do that and there is no corrobarative evidence you have problems.

Is the head aware that your marriage ended because of violence?

Frankly, if I was a head and a parent volunteered in this situation, I would be very leery about accepting the offer.

Frith

He does have a CRB check from his previous job and would pass another one since no one has ever dared get him charged with anything.

I have recorded all the scratches and bruises they come back with (including the burn where he let them play with a cigarette lighter and the cut where he let a 5 year old chop up pinecones with a vegetable knife). Likewise, letting them play with an air rifle through the upstairs window and watch Kill Bill (they were then 4 and 2).

Luckily, another TA at the school is my mum's best friend who also knows HIS mum. So she knows all about the ex, how he phoned my mum to say we were dead and the fact he now steals and beats up his mother. Another TA is very local and she has said similar. They both went to speak to my older son's class teacher about it (as of course he wants to volunteer in his class). TA 1 has also said how many parents would be up in arms if he were to become a volunteer....

Liz

P.S Have sent letters off to the CAB and Tax Credits.

RAS

ACEY wrote: »

He does have a CRB check from his previous job and would pass another one since no one has ever dared get him charged with anything.

For the future, there are two types of check. It sounds like he has a standard one - as it only lists convictions in the last 20 years. it is not portable by the way and only lasts three months. i gather from this that neither you or GF ever pursued him through the police?

Hopefully a school is doing the Enhanced one. This includes a check on POVA lists and "intelligence". It means that information about someone who has been questioned by police but not charged, or who is known to Social Services should be included. That information is not always added to the form sent to the person who is listed on the form, if divulging it would jeopardise current investigations.

ACEY wrote: »

Luckily, another TA at the school is my mum's best friend who also knows HIS mum. So she knows all about the ex, how he phoned my mum to say we were dead and the fact he now steals and beats up his mother. Another TA is very local and she has said similar. They both went to speak to my older son's class teacher about it (as of course he wants to volunteer in his class). TA 1 has also said how many parents would be up in arms if he were to become a volunteer....

Good. Is there any chance that mum's best friend could encourage his mum to seek help from someone like Age Concern about what is now called Elder Abuse?

ACEY wrote: »

I have recorded all the scratches and bruises they come back with (including the burn where he let them play with a cigarette lighter and the cut where he let a 5 year old chop up pinecones with a vegetable knife). Likewise, letting them play with an air rifle through the upstairs window and watch Kill Bill (they were then 4 and 2).

ACEY, were it is anything where there is a visible injury, you really need to get the kids to the doctors or the A&E, so that it is recorded that you are concerned and that he is responsible for the injury.

You need to establish that he is unfit and it is not you doing the damage. As you have already discovered, he is capable to the hugest lies.

Could you talk to your GPs practice about the situation and ask if you can just take the kids in to get them seen briefly by nurse and a note made on their files.

ACEY wrote: »

Have sent letters off to the CAB and Tax Credits.

Smashing. let's hope.