Can I afford to leave?

Mojisola

Confusedandneedhelp wrote: »

The argument is the OP said he didn't provide financially!

When people are in an abusive relationship, they often feel the need to come up with a practical reason to explain why they want out. It's only as the relationship is discussed further that the real reasons emerge.

Morglin

boltonangel wrote: »

Firstly he doesn't do ANYTHING within the house, he literally picks them up from school then comes home and plays on his playstation while they play in their rooms.
The utility bills and home come with his job so yes I suppose he does pay for those in a way (although they are at no cost to him) I pay the tv licence and council tax aswell as his car insurance and all the food we all eat I seriously don't understand why you appear to think I am the bad guy because he does the school runs while I work.

I'll give you the reasons but you'll probably tell me I'm being stupid for these aswell.

He doesn't let me have friends other than those that are his staff, I'm not allowed out on nights out even if I wanted to, he constantly tells me I'm a rubbish mum because I can't do the school run, I do ALL the housework, I'm told how fat I am constantly aswell as how !!!! I am at my job and all of this is in front of the kids who are now starting to mirror this behaviour. But I suppose he doesn't hit me so I'm being selfish for wanting to leave.

Just do what you think is right for you and the kids.

He sounds a nightmare, but obviously forum posters take a view, without knowing all the facts, so criticism can come forth! :whistle:

My only advice would be as before - sort out the practicalities, get a fixed appointment with a solicitor, and try to make the whole thing as calm as possible.

Good luck.

Lin

Carmina-Piranha_2

Things like water bills vary a great deal. Can you google the current prices for your area? I pay mine monthly but they only take it over 8 months so I keep the other 4 months payments the same but put it aside so I can pay for house insurance in full once a year rather than being charged for paying it monthly.

Council tax varies too - I think single adults get a 25% discount, but you probably have to apply for it at your local council office.

My fuel bills are higher than people have mentioned here, but that's for 5 people so your bill for 3 people will be lower than mine.

I don't know about after school childcare if needed, but here the holiday club at primary school costs £18 per day and the child takes their own packed lunch.

You can try different figures at the turn2us website to see what tax credit help you would get if you had a childcare bill of X amount per month. Iirc you add up your annual childcare cost then divide it by 52 weeks to find your average weekly cost. You may also get child tax credits.