Things you should not do...

calleyw

Do not decided to test how sharp your dads razor is by running your finger along the blades :eek:

And then because its cut at such an angle it wont stop bleeding and you have to admit it your parents. as you think you are going bleed to death :rotfl:

I was only about 8/9 years old have no idea why I did it. And I blame my dad for leaving it where I could get hold of it.

And yes I did get a very nice telling off for that one

Yours

Calley

PenguinOfDeath

Don't put shredded paper in a plastic bag that proudly boasts '100% BIODEGRADABLE', store said bag in the garage for a year then be surprised when you, the garage and the garden are then covered in paper as the bag has degraded...

(me, this afternoon)

building_with_lego

Don't assume that your toddler won't eat the chunky crayons you've bought for her birthday: she was doing neon- flecked poos for several days.

CathA

After being unable to get to the shredder as the front room is being used as an overflow of a builders yard (we're in the middle of a big renovation project), please make sure you check what you're shredding!!

I've had months of stuff waiting to be shredded, only went and shredded the latest credit card statement, which A) I hadn't sorted out what was building stuff and what was my spending, Hadn't taken note of when it was coming out of my bank account, and C) Had the previous month's amount down as the total to come out of the bank account, rather than the correct figure!!

AND the worse thing- I discovered what I had done wrong 10 minutes after shredding everything- 10 minutes!!! That stuff had been sat there months.

Oldfatgrumpy

Don't just assume the plastic thingy stuck in the top of the bottle of soy sauce is a sprinkler hole when it's actually an easy-pour gizmo. Very salty stir-fry that was.

GreyQueen

Do not eat a jam sandwich outside in the summer without paying due care and attention. Particularly when a wasp has landed on it.

The wasp wasn't very happy when it was eaten, and the eater was rather unhappy shortly afterwards as well. My brother is a tad prone to random accidents, bless.

rosie383

You should not find a container of white powder in a kitchen cupboard and think to yourself 'Ah! So that's where I put the large quantity of bicarb that I bought for cleaning!' Then chuck a cupful down the manky sink and all over the sink. Seemed to be not quite right as I was scrubbing said sink with it and suddenly realised that it wasn't soda crystals but coffee whitener that I had got from Approved Foods a while back! Thankfully milk powder is designed to dissolve or I could have ended up with an even worse plughole!:rotfl::rotfl:

CathA

Go careful sterilizing containers with boiling water...

My daughter had a riding accident and couldn't get out of bed but she also had a water infection and needed me to take a water sample to the doctors. I poured boiling water into a plastic pill container that had contained pills from the vet to sterilize it, gave it to her to do the necessary, bunged it in a plastic bag and left to go to the doctors. Pulling out of the driveway,(sample on my lap), I thought my lap felt a bit warm, looked down and my jeans were covered in warm wee (and not mine either!). I had to reverse back up the driveway, carefully get out the car (who knew how far wee can trickle?) and get her to do another sample. This time, I just washed out another pill bottle with WARM water, not boiling straight from the kettle!

CathA

Pay attention to what you are doing!!

I was sitting on the settee, dinner done, pj's on, legs up on the settee and idly watching tv and faffing about with the laptop, laptop balanced on my knees and the chair arm.

Now I've not been blessed in to boob department, (in fact when they were given out I got the flat pack version), BUT when I finished with the laptop and shut the cover I managed to catch my nipple in it....HOW?

If you laugh you are a bad person!!! My husband nearly choked, ba5stard!

Don't read this if you are squeamish!

I had my grandson round, and after he'd ate his lunch I gave him some little chocolate squares. I was whizzing about, cleaning up the bits he'd dropped on the floor, wiping the highchair etc. I took him out the highchair, stood him on a chair by the sink to wash his hands and face and carried on with the tidying.
Oh, I thought, he's dropped one of his chocolate squares, I'll have that, Unbeknownst to me, he had done a MASSIVE poop and as he was wearing shorts, not trousers, some of it had escaped down his leg. (You know where this is going, right?)
Needless to say, that bit of 'chocolate' came out of my mouth a darned sight quicker than it went in! I felt ill for days, and was wondering if it would harm me too much if I rinsed my mouth out with bleach? Yuk, yuk, yuk!!!

RicardaRacoon

Had a good laugh reading the tread!

Don't ever put hot pasta sauce in a salad dressing shaker to shake out some lumps unless you want to clean the whole kitchen and cool your burnt fingers for the next hour...

Don't think it is a good idea to make ketchup/tomato sauce/tomato soup in the pressure cooker and decided to let pressure out through the valve unless you think your kitchen could need some colour.... Happend to my aunt and requited a new paint as she never got the red dots from the ceiling...

Don't think you could do tea with milk with any sort of tea.... Peppermint and rosehip don't work too well, as a friend and I had to find out when we were kids.

When you put something into the oven to have it out of the way while it defrosts and go to work make sure that you don't switch the oven on and bake a cheese quiche for solid four hours.... It causes what can only be described as The Great Stink and lasted for almost two weeks... Was quite hard to get that smell out again...