Things you should not do...

calleyw

or buy a massive turkey so big that to finish defrosting it you have to put it in the bath and run water over it.

Or cook a chicken with the bag of giblets still in it :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Not me but my parents.

Yours

Calley

hoglet121

Following on form the cat posts...

Don't come home from holiday, do all the washing and put it on an airer in the garden to catch the last bit of sun, instead of pegged securly to the washing line.

Washing airer fell over, spooked the cat who ran for her cat flap, missed, crashed into the glass door, smashed it and ripped open her neck.

Glass bill $616
Vet bill $100 (was $325 but cat insurance kicked in after $100 excess)

Would have been an awful lot cheaper to bung the washing in the tumble drier...

GreyQueen

calleyw wrote: »

or buy a massive turkey so big that to finish defrosting it you have to put it in the bath and run water over it.

Or cook a chicken with the bag of giblets still in it :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Not me but my parents.

Yours

Calley

Are we related?! My Mum did the cooking-with-plastic-bag-of-giblets-in one Xmas with the turkey; they'd been stuffed in the neck hole rather than the usual place and she didn't even think to check there...........:rotfl:

Don't assume that a zinc meat safe, in a cool larder, where you are cooling the remnants of the roast chicken, is safe from the cat. Just because the meat safe doesn't have a door knob any more and the door is tight-fitting and the only way a human can open it is to stick a knife in the door and lever it open.

You will come into the kitchen and find the chicken carcass on the floor being eaten by a very guilty-looking cat. He has managed to open the larder door and the meat safe door; we can only think that he somehow hooked his claws into the tiny holes of the safe door and got enough leverage.

We let him keep the rest of it.............

carrielovesfanta

Do not, in a moment of slatternly behaviour, collate so much washing up that you have to place a glass on the ceramic hob plate.

Especially do not be so stupid as to then leave it there whilst heating something on another plate.

Even more especially do not be a dunce and switch on the wrong hob plate.

Do not carp yourself at the ensuing loud bang.

Do not spend hours finding flecks of glass.

gayleygoo

This thread is a brilliant way to start the day, I've been laughing so hard, especially at the crazy cat posts!!

Don't leave your ceramic butter dish on a cooker hob, that you've also forgotten to switch off. It was a while later that a fried of ours went to the kitchen for a drink, came back, and incredibly calmly said "guys, your kitchen is on fire". I had no idea butter was so flammable. Luckily the damage was fairly minor after we put it out but it could have been much worse.

Oh yes, and check your smoke alarm

Frogletina

gayleygoo wrote: »

This thread is a brilliant way to start the day, I've been laughing so hard, especially at the crazy cat posts!!

Don't leave your ceramic butter dish on a cooker hob, that you've also forgotten to switch off. It was a while later that a fried of ours went to the kitchen for a drink, came back, and incredibly calmly said "guys, your kitchen is on fire". I had no idea butter was so flammable. Luckily the damage was fairly minor after we put it out but it could have been much worse.

Oh yes, and check your smoke alarm

Surprised he was that cool about it!

juliettet

Don't mess about cleaning before you go to work and at the last minute grab the cat when hovering at the back door. ( I like mine in when I go out) When returning home greeted in the drive by said furious cat demanding food. Very perplexed? opened door to a lookee likee bolting away and carnage everywhere as other cat in house objecting to stranger shredded bedding and hall carpet.

CathA

Be careful what you train your dogs to do!!

We've always trained our dogs to the command of 'Leave', so if they have anything in their mouth they shouldn't, they will spit it into your hand when you hold your hand under their chin and give the command.

One of the dogs sneaked out the front and came in looking very furtive. Daughter number 3 was standing by the door, saw she had something in her mouth, put her hand down and gave the command. The dog did as requested, and deposited a large chunk of( slightly chewed) solidified cat poo into her hand. She realised what it was, and the automatic reaction was to go 'Eew!' and flick it out of her hand. The piece of poo then proceeded to ricochet round the porch floor (who knew solidified cat poo skids so well on a wooden floor?) followed by the dog trying to catch it again. The other dogs, wondering what the commotion was, came down and joined in the fray. Daughter number 3 was shouting that the dog had spat poo in her hand, the dogs were doing the wall of death round the porch chasing said poo, and I was nearly sick with laughter in the front room. I told my daughter to get hold of the dogs/poo and separate them RIGHT NOW, I couldn't do it as I was laughing too much.

Order was restored eventually, and my daughter announced with admirable restraint that at least the dogs' training had worked!

calleyw

Don't use an solid electric hob put all the covers back on. Forgetting to turn off one of the hobs. And then for some strange unknown reason put a biro on the top of the said hob cover.

Some time later a melted pen and a house stinking of melting plastic. Lucky it was summer and all the doors and windows could be opened.

Made me feel sick for ages after wards :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Yours

Calley

Corelli

Oh, what wonderful advice. Mine seems quite tame.

Do not talk to your mother while she has a lot on her mind anyway while she is serving breakfast. You may well end up with porridge in your tea.

Do not let your daughter leave a whole packet of butter in the same room as a dog. Dog will eat it all and vomit profusely leaving you with a batch of stinking carpet that will take a long time to totally lose its odour.

Do not ever ever think that a white carpet is a good idea in a conservatory that doesn't even have a cat flap, just a cat hole. Or rather a cat and fox hole. What possessed me? It's coming up this month.