Things you should not do...

fannyadams

do not decide to go pillion (ride on the back) of your (shorter) mate's motorcycle. do pay attention so that when he ducks down so that a bee that's headed straight at him it will not hit you in the visor.
do not laugh your socks off when said bee doesn't hit your visor but swoops over his helmet and down the back of his jacket causing him to ride his bike off the road and onto the verge,
do be sure to hold the motorcycle up with your long legs as your shorter mate leaps from the bike and begins to dance about, stripping off in the hopes of releasing said bee before it stings him.
Do not tell him that you saw the bee fly off the second he took his jacket off, nor stop his hysterical stripping until he is down to his boxers ont he side fo the road.
Do not retell this tale to anyone when you arrive at the pub for the bike meet, thereby maintaining shorter mate's street cred and good standing in the bike club you both belong to.

GreyQueen

Do not forget where you parked your car on a very large carpark, fail to find it where anticipated, and report it as stolen. This is embarrassing (waves at the guilty party, not me, for once).

CathA

fannyadams wrote: »

do not decide to go pillion (ride on the back) of your (shorter) mate's motorcycle. do pay attention so that when he ducks down so that a bee that's headed straight at him it will not hit you in the visor.
do not laugh your socks off when said bee doesn't hit your visor but swoops over his helmet and down the back of his jacket causing him to ride his bike off the road and onto the verge,
do be sure to hold the motorcycle up with your long legs as your shorter mate leaps from the bike and begins to dance about, stripping off in the hopes of releasing said bee before it stings him.
Do not tell him that you saw the bee fly off the second he took his jacket off, nor stop his hysterical stripping until he is down to his boxers ont he side fo the road.
Do not retell this tale to anyone when you arrive at the pub for the bike meet, thereby maintaining shorter mate's street cred and good standing in the bike club you both belong to.

Wonder if it's the same bee that attacked my daughter, hanging around motorways just to leap on people? I did laugh (lots!) x

Murphybear

tealady wrote: »

Loving these , haven't laughed so much for ages so had to add to the list
If you have to move a computer in an office switch it off first and then unplug the cable at the computer, not at the socket so you know which is the correct lead.
I know someone who crawled under a desk to unplug what they thought was "their " computer, yes it was someone elses, and they were half way through a long piece of work which was lost when the power went!

Reminds me when I worked for a small charity. Our network went down suddenly and it turned out to be the Director who thought a piece of metal at ground level was in her way so she removed it. It turned out to be part of the network connection (long before wireless)D. Good thing everyone saw the funny side

runrosyfox

Don't cook on a temperamental gas hob wearing a thick, long-sleeved dressing gown unless you've a fire blanket handy. My flat stank for a good long while and suffice to say I had to invest in new nightwear : (

Primrose

Laughed at the bee story. Do not, on your first date with a guy who's sitting in the passenger seat of your car and can't drive, get spooked by a wasp that has just accidentally flown into to your car.
Do not, in that main road of that busy tourist city, leap out of your car screaming, holding all the traffic up hooting and honking, leaving him sitting in the car helplessly trying to get rid of it, and refuse to get back into the car until it' s been ejected.

I was lucky to get a second date with him after that little exhibition!

Liz3yy

runrosyfox wrote: »

Don't cook on a temperamental gas hob wearing a thick, long-sleeved dressing gown unless you've a fire blanket handy. My flat stank for a good long while and suffice to say I had to invest in new nightwear : (

Sounds dangerous, hope you're ok?

Liz3yy

Don't leave the gas on when cooking at the same time the family cat appears in the kitchen and wants some fuss....

Mum took a saucepan off the hob without turning the heat off at the exact same time I wandered in and our very fluffy cat jumped up on the tumble dryer wanting some attention. The oven was next to said tumble dryer.

The cat turned towards me and waved his tail directly over the still lit hob, of course his tail went up in flames instantly....

I screamed - "Mum, the cats on fire!" In one smooth motion she grabbed him and chucked him in the sink which was full of murky but luckily cold water. The cat angry at being man handled bolted as soon as Mum released her grip on him. We didn't see him for days, luckily his long fur had protected his skin from burning.

It took several days for the smell of cooked cat to vanish from the house

runrosyfox

Liz3yy wrote: »

Sounds dangerous, hope you're ok?

Yes, I am thanks Liz - I escaped only lightly singed! And I was being so good - making a lentil lunch for the next day at work. Doesn't seem fair, does it?!

Kantankrus_Mare

GreyQueen wrote: »

Do not forget where you parked your car on a very large carpark, fail to find it where anticipated, and report it as stolen. This is embarrassing (waves at the guilty party, not me, for once).

:rotfl: i can sympathise with this one.

A few months ago I came out of our local Morrisons store which I obviously very rarely visit......and looked for my car where I had left it.

I must have spent fifteen to twenty minutes walking up and down the car park looking in vain with panic getting stronger by the minute.

I finally decided it must have been stolen and started walking slowly back towards the store only to notice there were two exits and two car parks!:eek:

Found my car of course and was so thankful I hadnt got as far as reporting it.

Oh how embarrassing that would have been!