Help to patch things up!

moneysniffer

I would be VERY grateful that this toxic influence has willingly removed herself from your life, and the life of your child. Saves a job later on!

Calien

She has been with my brother for three years (I think) we didn't meet her until they'd been together for over a year. I wouldn't have considered her a friend as such, more an acquaintance, there was never any deep conversations about anything and the only thing she ever enquired about when it came to donor-dad was how we got intimate when I was heavily pregnant. One part I'm still trying to work out is, he (donor-dad) got the pram/travel system which all of them know about but she's now claiming she got it for me....:huh:

He (donor-dad) got on really well with my dad, but never really got to know either the brother or girlfriend, mostly because my brother is very awkward around any guy I have dated.

I did find out yesterday why she hasn't responded to my dad saying think about sorting things out, she is apparently waiting for me to chase after her, which is not happening.

Mojisola

Calien wrote: »

I wouldn't have considered her a friend as such, more an acquaintance, there was never any deep conversations about anything and the only thing she ever enquired about when it came to donor-dad was how we got intimate when I was heavily pregnant.

One part I'm still trying to work out is, he (donor-dad) got the pram/travel system which all of them know about but she's now claiming she got it for me....:huh:

Be glad that she doesn't want to talk to you any more! Heaven knows what she might ask you.:eek:

Morglin

Calien wrote: »

She has been with my brother for three years (I think) we didn't meet her until they'd been together for over a year. I wouldn't have considered her a friend as such, more an acquaintance, there was never any deep conversations about anything and the only thing she ever enquired about when it came to donor-dad was how we got intimate when I was heavily pregnant..

Blimey, I wouldn't even ask my own daughter that type of question!:eek:

You are well shot of her.

Lin

CH27

Calien wrote: »

She has been with my brother for three years (I think) we didn't meet her until they'd been together for over a year. I wouldn't have considered her a friend as such, more an acquaintance, there was never any deep conversations about anything and the only thing she ever enquired about when it came to donor-dad was how we got intimate when I was heavily pregnant. One part I'm still trying to work out is, he (donor-dad) got the pram/travel system which all of them know about but she's now claiming she got it for me....:huh:

He (donor-dad) got on really well with my dad, but never really got to know either the brother or girlfriend, mostly because my brother is very awkward around any guy I have dated.

I did find out yesterday why she hasn't responded to my dad saying think about sorting things out, she is apparently waiting for me to chase after her, which is not happening.

:eek: She's bonkers & has no social awareness.

desert_rose

I've met one or two people like this - have one in the family! And they're basically, control freaks.

They want to know all your business, will spend hours endlessly dissecting who did what, when and why and generally emanating a 'holier than thou', persona while they're at it.

They easily take offence, love a bit of drama where they're the centre of attention and to cap it all, try and control the significant other's relationships (with family) to engineer the sort of confrontations that result in broken relationships and them winning total control over significant other.

You need to be very strong and try and engineer a situation whereby you maintain a relationship with your brother. I find silence the best way to handle things. Not saying anything can actually speak volumes.

heartbreak_star

What an odd person!

HBS x

Acc72

Calien wrote: »

Thank you all!

I'm going to speak to my dad again later and tell him my offer of apology is off the table. Even he can now see why I didn't agree to it at first.

It was offered 3 weeks ago next week and she obviously isn't interested, so that's it.

Firstly, I think that (based on the information given) your brothers girlfriend is being completely unreasonable.


However ..... if you want a reconciliation, then I don't think that your approach is a good one.


Why would you communicate via your dad ?


What is this "my offer of an apology is off the table" all about ?


I just don't understand ....


Why don't you actually ring your brother and speak with him direct to find out what the problem is (not go through an intermediary, not via facebook, not via an ad in the Times announcement section ....).


It sounds like there may be game-playing and passive aggressive behaviour on both sides - why don't you just talk to each other ?

Calien

Simple, my brother lives with his girlfriend, if I phone he doesn't answer or does but says he can't talk, our dad phones and it's fine, that's why I don't phone, and I have no interest in phoning her and getting 20 questions fired at me.

She's waiting for me to chase after her and that isn't happening. As far as I'm concerned, how I met my daughters dad isn't her business but I was willing to apologise because my dad asked me to. But it's been a couple of weeks since my dad spoke to my brother about convincing the girlfriend to accept my apology and move on, she still want's a massive discussion, which again is none of her business and isn't happening.

tea_lover

Calien wrote: »

Simple, my brother lives with his girlfriend, if I phone he doesn't answer or does but says he can't talk, our dad phones and it's fine, that's why I don't phone, and I have no interest in phoning her and getting 20 questions fired at me.

She's waiting for me to chase after her and that isn't happening. As far as I'm concerned, how I met my daughters dad isn't her business but I was willing to apologise because my dad asked me to. But it's been a couple of weeks since my dad spoke to my brother about convincing the girlfriend to accept my apology and move on, she still want's a massive discussion, which again is none of her business and isn't happening.

Absolutely. She seems to have no social boundaries whatsoever! Who pays that much attention to their OH's sister's sex life??