Help to patch things up!

Calien

Hi all,

I'll try to keep this brief but include as much detail as I can.

I have an almost 6 month old baby girl, my brother and his girlfriend doted on her. When she was four months old they found out I conceived via a donor (they met him numerous times) he and I allowed the lines to blur and formed a sort of relationship, which stopped in March this year. Although we still talk on and off.

They (mostly the girlfriend) feel betrayed by this, which I can understand as I should have told them. I have offered via my dad to apologize for this.

My brother seems more ok with what has gone on but his girlfriend is essentially keeping him away. They used to come over every weekend, she hasn't been over in two months, brother has visited for and hour or so a couple of times. However, she want's a lengthy discussion, which I said no to as what happened with myself and the donor ended with a great deal of hurt on both parts and I'm just getting over it so don't want to go back into it all.

My dad asked her to please consider my apology if she want's it but she hasn't been in touch.

I'm thinking long term now and how fast my daughter is growing coupled with how quickly the year is going by. I don't want my daughter not really knowing her uncle, I don't want Christmas coming and my brother and/or his girlfriend to not visit. I don't want my daughters first birthday to come and again him/her not coming. But she is keeping him away, I know this as he told my dad she doesn't want him here.

I want to patch things up for the sake of my daughter and my dad who doesn't like how things have gone. My dad understands my not wanting to get into what would be a heated discussion about everything as the emotions are still rather raw.

Help.

pollypenny

They should be making up with you. How is it the business of your brother's girlfriend?

tea_lover

!!!!!!?? She needs to get over herself. How you conceived your child is no one else's business.

SavingPennies_2

I'm totally confused, there's no reason (from what you have said) for her to be upset. There must be something else to it, is she jealous? Is there more to this story?

Make-it-3

I assume your brother's girlfriend is a long-term fixture/considered part of the family given you are all taking her feelings into such consideration?

If so, did her and your brother think it was an immaculate conception? Did they not ask who the father was when you announced your pregnancy?

Was the father really a "donor" or is that how you are describing him now that your relationship is over?

What are the reasons brother's girlfriend is staying away - is she upset/disappointed/disgusted that you have decided to be a single mum?

Think you need to fill in a bit more so others can help you here.

barbiedoll

Call your brother and tell him to grow a pair and to tell his girlfriend that your relationships are none of her business!

What a weirdo! (or simply a nosey cow!!)

Calien

Make-it-3;

Yes he really was a donor, met on a donor site. They/she is upset as they thought he was my boyfriend, by the time I actually got pregnant we were seeing each other as normal boyfriend/girlfriend, and both admit we allowed things to get...confusing.

She upset mostly it seems because she thinks I wove some elaborate lie. Had nothing developed between us I would have told them (when it was past the safe point) that it was via a donor, but things worked out completely differently to how I thought they would.

Mojisola

Calien wrote: »

Yes he really was a donor, met on a donor site. They/she is upset as they thought he was my boyfriend, by the time I actually got pregnant we were seeing each other as normal boyfriend/girlfriend, and both admit we allowed things to get...confusing.

She upset mostly it seems because she thinks I wove some elaborate lie. Had nothing developed between us I would have told them (when it was past the safe point) that it was via a donor, but things worked out completely differently to how I thought they would.

She needs to get over herself!

It's none of her business how you and your child's father met.

bluenoseam

And it would have been any different had it been the result of a one night stand? Seriously she needs to get over herself, the mechanics aren't important the only important thing is the end result which is your daughter.

Calien

I know it sounds ridiculous, to pretty much everyone who knows the situation, myself and donor-dad included.

Tbh if things remain this way I can see that when my brother and her eventually get married, it will most likely be a case of "you can't invite your sister to the wedding".

tea_lover

Well it sounds like you may have had a lucky escape, do you really want someone that judgemental in your little girl's life?