Help to patch things up!

Bangton

What a horrible situation to be in when you should be enjoying your little girl. I really do feel for you. It's hard being a mum without your relationship breaking down and then family rifts.

fwiw I think she's disgusting. Not only is her attitude pathetic but she is now banning your own brother from visiting and worst of all abandoning a relationship with your little girl.

I'd be struggling to forgive HER to be honest but I think the only way to move forward is to have some sort of discussion with her. There is no need to tell her every detail or to have a lengthy chat but perhaps you could answer any questions your comfortable with and leave it at that.

It's absolutely shocking that she thinks she has a right to know the ins and outs of how your daughter was conceived. Your brother really shouldn't be allowing her to dictate his relationship with his own sister and neice.

kudos for you for wanting to make up. I'd find both their actions very difficult to get over.

slightlyconfused1

Hi

If I were you I would speak to your brother and tell him that his girlfriend is completely out of order, however if he wishes to maintain a relationship with his niece he is welcome to do so. I would also tell him that anytime the gf wishes to apologise you will be prepared to listen. I would then speak to your Dad and tell him what you have told your brother.

No-one has any right to comment on how your daughter was conceived. It is no-ones business other than you and her biological father. If I was in your position I would take the offensive and stand up for myself and my daughter and let the person who has caused the problem do the "making up".

19lottie82

I'd be withdrawing your offered apology quick smart OP! If you hadn't have used this donor in particular then you wouldn't have your beautiful daughter. Don't apologise for your baby daughter!

southoftheriver

Wow, please stop investing your emotions in this woman who does not deserve an apology or explanation. Focus on your little girl and your brother. She needs to be told to get knotted.

Lieja

slightlyconfused1 wrote: »

Hi

If I were you I would speak to your brother and tell him that his girlfriend is completely out of order, however if he wishes to maintain a relationship with his niece he is welcome to do so. I would also tell him that anytime the gf wishes to apologise you will be prepared to listen. I would then speak to your Dad and tell him what you have told your brother.

No-one has any right to comment on how your daughter was conceived. It is no-ones business other than you and her biological father. If I was in your position I would take the offensive and stand up for myself and my daughter and let the person who has caused the problem do the "making up".

This. You haven't done anything to apologise for. I can't understand why your brother would abandon his relationship with his neice over something so petty! She sounds like a selfish cow who thinks she has the right to know everyone else's business. Get on with your life OP, and make it clear to bro and dad who's causing the problem here.

Calien

Thank you all!

I'm going to speak to my dad again later and tell him my offer of apology is off the table. Even he can now see why I didn't agree to it at first.

It was offered 3 weeks ago next week and she obviously isn't interested, so that's it.

GobbledyGook

Next time it's mentioned ask them how often they have sex and what their favoured routines are.

When they (understandably) object to that you can point out that that is basically what they are asking you!

How rude and presumptuous they are being. Your brother needs to wind his neck in. His sister has a young baby and is just out of a complicated relationship. He should be supportive, not causing problems.

QuackQuackOops

Calien wrote: »

Make-it-3;

Yes he really was a donor, met on a donor site. They/she is upset as they thought he was my boyfriend, by the time I actually got pregnant we were seeing each other as normal boyfriend/girlfriend, and both admit we allowed things to get...confusing.

She upset mostly it seems because she thinks I wove some elaborate lie. Had nothing developed between us I would have told them (when it was past the safe point) that it was via a donor, but things worked out completely differently to how I thought they would.

Seriously love, you have nothing to apologise for. I am staggered that you would even think about apologising.

It is none of their business who you sleep with or what you have done in order to be a mum.

I would tell them to stay away if they can put their stinking attitudes aside for the sake of their niece.

Mojisola

QuackQuackOops wrote: »

I would tell them to stay away if they can put their stinking attitudes aside for the sake of their niece.

Some people are nasty towards children because of their own prejudices.

It would concern me that the GF might behave badly towards the OP's daughter - if they do start to visit again, I'd be keeping an eye on what happens.

sedment

Cant see what its to do with the girlfriend, its not like she has history with the donor or was friends before your lovely baby was conceived. Its her boyfriends niece! She should just wise up and enjoy seeing the child grow up. Would ignore her silly behaviour and carry on chatting with your brother and being normal.