Help to patch things up!

duchy

So she's not talking to you.......and she's not talking to her boyfriend's Dad.

I wouldn't worry -she's unlikely to be with your brother for much longer -unless he's a complete numpty. Dictating to a grandfather how he should feel about his grandchild !! The woman is flipping bonkers !!!

I have friends who had issues conceiving and went on to have a baby. I have no idea if fertility drugs finally worked, they used donor sperm and or IVF and I wouldn't expect them to tell me and it's certainly not my place to ask. The important thing is they safely delivered their much wanted babies.

I wonder what sort of relationship this odd woman has with her own family......Does she not speak to them either ?

burnoutbabe

a lot of people don't like the idea of people going out deliberately to become a single mother (there are often threads on here about it). So it could be that?

still none of her business, though she has the right to not think its the right thing to do, but really should keep that opinion to herself around you.

Mojisola

Calien wrote: »

My brother is mostly ok after the initial "huh?" of it all and my dad has absolutely no issues with me or how I met donor-dad but she does.

To show how things have gone with her; she got on great with my dad, always had a laugh and good, long chats, but because he said he doesn't care how his granddaughter came to be, she doesn't speak to him any more.

Is your brother happy to continue a relationship with his GF now that she isn't speaking to his Dad or his sister? He may end up having to chose between her and his family.

venetianlagoon

Tell her to take a hike.

Buzzybee90

You haven't answered the question - how did they think she was conceived? Did they think this donor was a casual relationship and that's how the child happened?

I'm unsure how they could misunderstand unless you'd not been forthcoming with the truth.

Mojisola

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

You haven't answered the question - how did they think she was conceived? Did they think this donor was a casual relationship and that's how the child happened?

I'm unsure how they could misunderstand unless you'd not been forthcoming with the truth.

Why does that matter?

Why should someone's brother's girlfriend expect an apology because she misunderstood/didn't like the way a child was conceived?

Buzzybee90

Mojisola wrote: »

Why does that matter?

Why should someone's brother's girlfriend expect an apology because she misunderstood/didn't like the way a child was conceived?

No, but obviously we don't know these people. Babies don't pop up out of nowhere, if the OP wasn't in a relationship at the time I can imagine the question came up! If she said "the baby was the result of a one night stand/ new relationship" etc. then 6 months later changes her story, I think I'd feel hurt. Not because of the nature of conception but the fact I'd be lied to for so long. I don't see how the girlfriend could misunderstand such a fact. If I was close to the OP, as a friend and not as a sister out law.


You're dismissing the brothers girlfriend but she could have been a part of the family for 6 years or 6 months, we don't know (unless I missed that bit!)

jaylee3

Urgh what a nosey busy-body. Your bro would be well shot of her!

Mojisola

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

If she said "the baby was the result of a one night stand/ new relationship" etc. then 6 months later changes her story, I think I'd feel hurt. Not because of the nature of conception but the fact I'd be lied to for so long.

Well, I don't understand why you would feel hurt. And certainly don't think you would be entitled to an apology which the GF thinks she should get.

If I was in the GF's position, I would probably wonder why the OP changed her story but not take it personally.

However, that doesn't seem to be the case here. The OP and the baby's father met with the intention of him being just a sperm donor but then got into a relationship. Would the GF have been happier if they'd met while out clubbing or at work or on a dating site? It would still be none of her business.

Buzzybee90

Mojisola wrote: »

Well, I don't understand why you would feel hurt. And certainly don't think you would be entitled to an apology which the GF thinks she should get.

If I was in the GF's position, I would probably wonder why the OP changed her story but not take it personally.

However, that doesn't seem to be the case here. The OP and the baby's father met with the intention of him being just a sperm donor but then got into a relationship. Would the GF have been happier if they'd met while out clubbing or at work or on a dating site? It would still be none of her business.

I just edited my post, I'm thinking of the gf more as a friend to the OP, as opposed to just the OPs brother's gf. I find this situation odd and it's not a topic I'd personally broach with my own family, though it seems to have been talked about with the OPs.

I'd find any kind of lying upsetting. Agree it's none of anyone's business, but it seems she had believed a different turn of events (if so, should she have been corrected earlier?) perhaps she got entirely the wrong end of the stick.