child paying keep/rent

Seanymph

My step son was hugely irresponsible at his first job with proper money.

So I set a high rent.

Then when he did move out a) his rent was the same as he had been paying, so he was set up to be successful and b) I had some money to give him for his deposit and the first month or so.

It isn't always about 'fair' - sometimes, as a parent it can be a teaching thing.

pleasedelete

jaylee3 wrote: »

I think they should be paying something as soon as they start earning. If only a small amount.

Also it's important to remember that not everybody can afford to NOT charge their kids board money. Many people lose as much as 300 pound a month income (in tax credits and child benefit,) when their child leaves full-time education.

What's more, the adult child would have to pay if they lived elsewhere.

But what will those people do when their child eventually leaves home? Actually adults need to plan for the futures as well as offspring.

jackieblack

pleasedelete wrote: »

But what will those people do when their child eventually leaves home?

They'll have lower bills - water, electricity and food at least

It's only reasonable to expect a working adult to cover whatever they're costing

dktreesea

Tax credits and child benefit aren't income for parents. They're contributions by other taxpayers to the cost of bringing up some families' children.

We have a child who has just started working. She has been worrying how much rent and board we are going to charge her, because a lot of her friends are in the OP's situation, i.e. the parents can't afford to cover the shortfall, not just caused by the ending of the CTC and CB, but also the housing benefit and council tax benefit they get has gone down by quite a lot due to the child becoming and independent adult with an income. For one of those families, their DD was saying her parents income has dropped by £130 a week due to her now earning, and they want her to cover the shortfall. A huge shortfall for an 18 year old on the NMW for 18 year olds, which is less than £6 an hour, to cover.

We take the view that we are paying the rent anyway, whether or not she lives at home. It's not like we would be downsizing, or renting out her room to a lodger if she wasn't here. So we don't charge her rent.

We also don't charge her board, because firstly she is rarely here, so barely costs us anything, and secondly when she is she does chores around the house. Thanks to her, I haven't had to do the washing and ironing in years.

She has taken over all her direct expenses, so things like her phone contract and travel pass.

Now I have read this thread, I might ask for a contribution of £20 a week, and then just squirrel it away for her in a savings account without telling her.

schwam66

dktreesea wrote: »

Tax credits and child benefit aren't income for parents. They're contributions by other taxpayers to the cost of bringing up some families' children.

We have a child who has just started working. She has been worrying how much rent and board we are going to charge her, because a lot of her friends are in the OP's situation, i.e. the parents can't afford to cover the shortfall, not just caused by the ending of the CTC and CB, but also the housing benefit and council tax benefit they get has gone down by quite a lot due to the child becoming and independent adult with an income. For one of those families, their DD was saying her parents income has dropped by £130 a week due to her now earning, and they want her to cover the shortfall. A huge shortfall for an 18 year old on the NMW for 18 year olds, which is less than £6 an hour, to cover.

We take the view that we are paying the rent anyway, whether or not she lives at home. It's not like we would be downsizing, or renting out her room to a lodger if she wasn't here. So we don't charge her rent.

We also don't charge her board, because firstly she is rarely here, so barely costs us anything, and secondly when she is she does chores around the house. Thanks to her, I haven't had to do the washing and ironing in years.

She has taken over all her direct expenses, so things like her phone contract and travel pass.

Now I have read this thread, I might ask for a contribution of £20 a week, and then just squirrel it away for her in a savings account without telling her.

finally starting to see ppl that have sense come out the the wood work....

imo i wouldnt do the £20 thing, you dont have to, you have your head screwed on so your daughter will too and no doubt has a good start on the savings anyway.....to contradict myself a bit though this is what we are doing, the child benefit we get each month for our kids goes straight into a savings account, so when they hit 18(or whenever they want to fly the coup) we can say 'here is a house deposit'....

schwam66

Poppet2014 wrote: »

I always paid roughly what I cost to my parents. They knew I was responsible to save for a deposit and didn't want me to pay for what was their decided cost of living. The way they looked at if a cost would remain with me gone then it wasn't for me to contribute. When redundancy loomed they refused more.

yupp exactly, to me this is common sense, but in a few post above someone thought they would bleed their kids dry and make them contribute to the things that would still need paying even if the kid didnt live there in the first place....

you and your parents have your heads on straight, as another poster mentioned you know the costs of having a child you cant just expect that at 18 they are gone and if they are your going to make sure they pay for things you have been paying with no problem for 18 years....

Indie_Kid

schwam66 wrote: »

you and your parents have your heads on straight, as another poster mentioned you know the costs of having a child you cant just expect that at 18 they are gone and if they are your going to make sure they pay for things you have been paying with no problem for 18 years....

But the child benefits would have stopped then.

schwam66

jackieblack wrote: »

They'll have lower bills - water, electricity and food at least

It's only reasonable to expect a working adult to cover whatever they're costing

honestly now would the water and electricity be THAT much different? surely once your child moves out the bills arent all of a sudden going to be cut in half are they? food i can see would come down, but again not that much, how often is an 18 year old working full time eatting at home.....2 maybe 3 days a week? dont know my kids arent anywhere near that age yet but when i was 18 i sorted myself out i never had super waiting for me or anything like that so i cant imagine the food would be that much of an issue......

schwam66

Indie_Kid wrote: »

But the child benefits would have stopped then.

maybe thats my point, this country is going to !!!! because of the open boarders and all the people that rely so heavily on benefits....if your that hard up that you rely on the benefits THAT much then you seriously shouldnt have had kids, i know you say situations change but you cant really say that you know once you have a child you need to be there for that child whether they are 1 or 41.....

as i have said i can understand if your kid is a mooch and is 30 and still at home but to think that you are that bad financially that you have to hit up your cash strapped 18 year old to make ends meet is a real shame.....50 wont be much to the parent but to the child thats like a 1000....

whodathunkit

schwam66 wrote: »

honestly now would the water and electricity be THAT much different? surely once your child moves out the bills arent all of a sudden going to be cut in half are they? food i can see would come down, but again not that much, how often is an 18 year old working full time eatting at home.....2 maybe 3 days a week? dont know my kids arent anywhere near that age yet but when i was 18 i sorted myself out i never had super waiting for me or anything like that so i cant imagine the food would be that much of an issue......

When our teenage foster son left home our utility bills went down by nearly £100 pm, our telephone bill collapsed and I spent about £30 less on food a week.